Burke's mind began processing the events. He was quite relieved that his friend was still alive; the guilt that he had been carrying regarding that abandonment was lifted. "Sunni, you've been living halfway around the world. Unless TJ has radically changed, I don't think it's very likely that he found you. How did you find out that he was still alive?"

"I got an E-mail."

"You got a E-mail?" From who?"

"I don't know. Actually I got several. Someone found me on the Internet the same way that I found you. "

"Well when are we going to see TJ?" Mostly-Bob added.

"I don't know-I wanted Burke's advice on to what to do" replied Sunni.

Burke had a concerned look on his face. "Is there a reason why we couldn't see him now?"

"No-no I guess not."

The lights flickered on for a second, but went out again. "I've got to stay here in case the power comes back" on Norber announced. But Burke was up and heading for the door. The rest of them followed and began climbing into the new Piscataway. They were going to see TJ.

Sunni directed Jak to campus. Fauna seemed surprised at this. "He's living on campus?"

"Well sort of."

Jak parked the car. The campus was eerie this time of night, especially in the darkness. The rain had stopped, but there was a blanket of fog on the ground. The only thing lit was the face of clock at Markham hall.

"Why is that the only thing with power?" Mostly-Bob asked.

"The clock must be on a generator. Otherwise someone would have to reset the clock every time the power went out" Burke answered.

He looked up at the tower; rising up like a lighthouse in the mist. He remembered Aliren's parting words: "Sometimes the fog can obscure your view. Remember that if you get lost, never lose your faith. Keep looking. One day you'll see the lighthouse; it's out there." He looked down at the button hole that once held the flower that she gave him; the flower was long gone but her memory was still fresh.

"That's where we're going" Sunni announced.

"Markham hall?"

"Yes." She began walking toward the rear of the building. Behind it was an alley with buildings on each side. Markham had a loading dock, and many doors behind it. Sunni pulled out a key and began trying the doors. "You have a key? Where the hell did you get the key?" Burke asked.

"I'm assuming that whoever sent me the E-mails sent this too me too. It was the only, as you would say, physical mail I ever received; everything else came from cyberspace. The note that came with it said that TJ found it years ago, on the day that he mooned the Six O'clock News. He spent years trying to find where the key fit. If that doesn't sound just like him" She said. "He spent years looking for the right door to a key that he found." Then she quietly said to herself. "I hope he's OK."

Sunni tried four doors without success. "I can see why it took him all these years to find where the key fits" she said. "Does anyone have a flashlight?"

No one answered, so she continued trying doors in the darkness. She had a bit of superb luck; it fit in the next door. "Come on lets go" she urged. The door opened to absolute blackness. Sunni took one stop inside but realized that she couldn't go very far without a light-although she tried. Her form faded into the blackness, but soon emerged. "There is a stairway in there, but it's too steep and dark to climb in the dark. We've got to find some light" she said.

"I took a candle from Norb's restaurant" Mostly-Bob offered.

"Why didn't you say that when I asked?" asked Sunni.

"You asked for a flashlight and this is a candle."

"Mostly-Bob how the hell DO you remember your lines?" she asked.

He lit the candle and handed it to her. "Burke you lead" she said.

"I don't know where I'm going" he protested.

"None of us do." Maggie spoke up. "Banyon you excel in these kinds of situations. How about it. Please."

Burke looked to her for help. Apparently she had forgotten that he was on crutches. "Can you go first?" she asked. "I will hold the candle over your head."

"We're behind you all the way" he heard Mostly-Bob say. A hand touched his shoulder.

"OK, but the going is going to be slow" he replied.

They all were willing to work within that consideration and so entered the dark tower. "What is that smell?" Maggie asked.

"It's rodent" replied Burke.

"Rodent?"

"Yes-you know the saying: I smell a rat? Well you really can smell them" Burke said quite seriously.

"That's it I'm out" said Mostly-Bob. "For-get it. I can't deal with that odor."

"Come on. We've got to. We've got to be brave. We've got to be strong. We've got to see TJ-tonight. We may not get another chance." Sunni urged.

"You didn't say anything about rats" Mostly-Bob argued.

Burke did not want to argue. He began up the stairs. Slowly. Surely. "I think I can go faster without these crutches" he said.

"I'll hold them for you" Sunni offered.

"NO!" Maggie said. "No Banyon. Don't hurt yourself. You are doing fine. Let that foot heal; use the crutches." She gave Sunni an angered look but it was lost in the shadows.

Burke continued with the crutches, the group closely behind him-step-thump-step-thump-step--thump. Stair by stair, flight by flight the lame was leading the near blind onward and upward. TJ's tower He began wondering how many rodents were watching the man parade tramp up the stairs. Half a flight up was a landing. As he reached it his crutch slipped and moved away throwing him off balance. He arms began swinging in circles, frantically searching for a point of equilibrium, but it never became realized. He fell backward, tumbling down the stairs almost bowling everyone over and finally drawing Maggie into the frenzy of arms and legs. In the commotion Sunni dropped the candle and it erratically bounced down several stairs before it finally snuffed out. At the bottom was the report of the candle striking Burke. "OW! Son-of-bitch! I feel bad enough. Did you have to bean me with the candle too?"

"Oh Bany. Bany. I'm so sorry are you OK?" she asked into the blackness. All of them were in total darkness now. The rodent smell seemed to be stronger. Maggie panicked and groped for Burke in the blackness. "Hey watch what you're grabbing!" he yelled trying to break the tension. A moment later she had her lighter lit and they were able to see again. She re-lit the candle and began helping him up the stairs.

The stairs wound round and upward; the going was slow because of their crippled fearless leader. Burke felt dauntless now, like a mountain climber that wouldn't settle for anything short of summit. About half way up was a small window. Burke looked out at the courtyard below. In the distance he could see the Lexus parked between the buildings. Someone was shining a flashlight through the window of his car. Burke starred for a moment tying to attach meaning to the activity and concluded that it campus security was performing a vehicle check. He announced his finding. "Security is looking into the Lexus. They may track us here. We've all got to be very quiet from here on in. Did you close the door behind you Mostly-Bob?"

"I don't remember-it's too dark to go back down to check. Maybe the rats closed it behind us. That's the way it works in the movies."

Jak began freaking out. "These aren't the movies freak boy. Those are real cops down there" he said angrily. "Try this concept out-it's called reality."

"Calm down" Burke ordered.

"Shit man-I'm on parole. I'm not going back in for breaking and entering. Burke this is your fantasy. It's not my fault!"

"I got dragged here the same way as you, and we didn't break and enter. We were invited and we have a key."

"I suppose you are going to tell them that TJ is the owner of this tower eh?"

"For all we know he could be."

They continued moving on again. This time as quietly as a mouse. The going seemed slower in the silence-step-thump-step-thump. Finally Burke saw the last landing.

At the top of the stairs was a heavy wooden door. It was locked. Sunni tried her key, but couldn't seem to make it work. She knocked--meekly at first then a bit bolder. And again. Every time she tried, she got progressively louder. There was no sound on the other side. "Oh, I hope he's OK. He has to go out for treatment several times a week" she said.

Sunni asked for the candle and began searching her purse. "I know it's in here somewhere" She said while groping through the contents. She finally produced a letter that she began to read to the group:

Dear Sunni,

You all must come at once. I'm so worried about TJ. He's gotten much worse and I fear that he won't be around very much longer. He keeps asking for Burke and Jak, but mentions you all frequently. There isn't anything we can do but watch and wait; try to make his last days here count for something.

Enclosed is a key that TJ discovered many years ago. It opens a door in the rear of Markham. TJ has been hiding there for some time. The conditions there are dreadful but that is where he wants to be.

Please come as quickly as possible.

Sunni had tears in her eyes as she read. There was a screaming silence within the group. No one was prepared for this; no one knew quite what to say. The utter stillness dragged on until Sunni broke it by hammering on the doorway again. "Dammit TJ. Open up!" she commanded in desperation.

The doorknob turned and the door opened a crack. "Who-who is it? a voice meekly asked from the other side. No one was sure who's voice it was. Sunni announced herself. "I don't know anyone named Sunni. GO AWAY!" said the voice.

"TJ open up. It's Banyon."

"Banyon-Burke is that really you?"

"Open up TJ. It's really me."

The door groaned opened and there stood TJ. Sunni gasped at his appearance. It really was him, and yet it wasn't. They were all stunned by the way he looked; totally bald. Emaciated. He looked so-frail. Wearing small round spectacles and wrapped in a blanket, he had taken on an almost Ghandi like appearance. For the first time he looked solemn, even wise. Something was wrong; his color. His skin tone was all wrong; it had a grayish cast to it. He was shivering.

"Burke, Burke! Brother is that really you?" he asked again. Squinting. TJ moved his head from side to side straining to make out the form of Burke on the landing.

"Yeah TJ. It's really me!"

"Come in. All of you." he said. "Welcome to my nightmare." He scanned the group again. "Fauna is that you?"

"It's me TJ."

He grabbed her and embraced her in as if she were life itself. Sunni walked up and took his hand, she was still crying. TJ was pulled her into the hug. One by one the hug kept gaining members until it was an entire group embrace. They stayed like that for minutes. Weeping. Holding on for dear life. There was nothing to be said. Everyone realized that this was both hello and good-bye.

"Let's sit down" TJ finally said. He lead them down a long nearly pitch black hallway, moving slowly; sickly. Holding onto the wall for support. The going had been faster following Burke up the stairs on crutches. TJ offered an excuse for the darkness. "Normally this way is lit by an EXIT sign. It's kind of funny how the exit sign went out and you all appeared. I hope that doesn't mean something."

"The lights are out all over town TJ."

"That's good because there's only one other way out and I haven't had the nerve to go that way yet."

TJ continued on. He had to stop to rest. Still holding onto the wall, he head bowed, he was panting as if he had just sprinted. "Are you OK TJ?" Mostly-Bob asked.

"Rupert, what do you think is wrong with me?" TJ asked.

"Um-you are dying?"

"That's an understatement" He started coughing. TJ escorted them into a small room that was lit by hundreds of candles. They entered and were appalled by the squalor and turmoil within. Garbage was strewn about everywhere. Piled thickly. There was no furniture, but boxes served the purpose. In one corner was a depressing little cot that sat on the floor. It had a poncho for a blanket. It was obvious, that was where TJ spent most of his time.

The group entered and looked around for a place to sit. Burke began clearing a spot on the floor with his foot. One by one they began to settle in. Burke realized that he had avoided looking at TJ since he opened the door. He needed to look at TJ again, so he did with caution. He was deeply affected by TJ's deteriorated condition. Burke had been confronted by middle age several times since he began the journey back to Wakefield, but now he was being confronted by mortality itself. It made him shudder, it was as though a cold hand was resting on his shoulder.

TJ finally made it to the cot. He slumped down, glad to be able to take rest. "Sorry about the mess-I've been rearranging things around here."

"Sure TJ."

He turned toward Sunni. "Thanks for bringing everyone. I know that was a difficult request to fulfill."

She looked at Burke. "It was almost impossible."

"Thanks to all of you for coming. I just wish I wasn't so sick. I wish things were different. I'd take you all out.

"I know you would." Said Sunni.

"Don't think that I don't know why you all are here. Don't think I don't sense and appreciate the love you are sharing here today. I've been living without hope for sometime now. Today, you have given me rest from despair. Thank you. I really needed that."

TJ stopped, perhaps at a loss of words, maybe too emotionally charged to continue. The group sat in silence perfectly content to just be there with TJ. Savoring the time.

He sighed. "We make lots of choices in out lives; some good, some not so good." It was obvious to all that merely talking was beginning to drain him.

He paused to reflect. "I've spent my life howling at the moon. Funny thing about the moon. It has no light of it's own, yet it is the brightest thing in the sky.

I remember one day a long time ago. At the lake. Burke. You were there. And so was Jak. Remember? We talked about life. About the moon. Remember that Burke?"

"I do TJ, very well. I thought that was the last time I'd ever see you."

"We had such high ideals back then. Look at us now. He eyed Jak. "Perfection" he said with a strained smile. Then turning his gaze to Burke "Simplification." He then looked into a small dirty mirror hanging on the wall next to his cot. And speaking to his reflection whispered "Purification."

"We've failed miserably." TJ 's tone was a strange mixture of sarcasm, scoffing, and sorrow. The words smacked Burke with consequence. He was right. Absolutely.

"Hey the exit light is on in the hall" Mostly-Bob observed. "Power is back on."

"Do you guys wanna see the clock?" TJ asked.

"Whatever you want to do will be fine" Maggie said. "It's your party, but don't wear yourself out. OK?"

For the first time he looked at Maggie. "Who are you?" he demanded.

"I'm Sunni's sister." She replied.

"Yeah you are. I can tell. You are thinking that there is hope for this situation, aren't you?"

"Yes how did you know?"

He did not answer but stood up and paused for a moment to recover. "Come on. It's this way."

Sunni grabbed Burke about the waste under the guise that she was helping him on his crutches. Really she was trying to comfort herself. He led them down a hall, five steps up and through a fire door. Outside the clouds were breaking up; clusters of stars were peeking through openings in the sky shroud.

JT liked the roof. He didn't go up here much though because most of the time it required too energy. He was here now with his friends. It was worth the effort. "They say you can never go back" TJ said to Sunni. "For me that's true. I'm going on a journey that I can never return from.

I wanted you all here for a final adios. You are my friends. My friends the only family that I've ever really known. I love you all. Every one of you. Understand?"

Sunni listened with a tear stained face. She had been weeping ever since she first saw TJ at the door. It was breezy on the roof. The wind whipped Sunni's hair about. Strands were clinging to the wetness of her tear stained cheeks. She was a mess. A question burned in her heart. She needed--but feared the answer "How long TJ? How do you have TJ? I've got to know."

"I don't know Sunni. Enough to make my last moments on earth count for something I guess." This was reality sure enough; everyone ached in their guts from it.

TJ moved over to the railing and looked down upon the campus. "Look at it" he said wistfully. "Down there--we had such fun. We ran this place once upon a time, a long time ago. It's kind of funny. Now we're up here looking down, and looking back."

"We used to be down there looking up. Trying to see how long until last call" said Jak.

"We ran this place" repeated TJ.

"Then we all ran from it" Fauna said.

"True enough" agreed Mostly-bob.

It was a private moment for all. Each was remembering the way the all were when they ran the place. There was a feeling that they all seemed to share, a non-drug induced contact high. Their first.

TJ turned to Burke. "Why'd we have to change Burke? Things were great."

"We all had to grow up sometime TJ."

"I didn't. Damn. I miss the way things used to be."

Right now sitting on the roof with his old friends Burke agreed completely. "Me too TJ." It occurred to Burke that he had missed TJ's inner beauty. Always in the role of trouble maker, class clown; he was a free spirit that had added magic and excitement to every adventure.

The look in his TJ's eyes said that he had lost hope. He stifled a cough. The damp air was affecting TJ's breathing.

There was a long pause. No one knew what to say or do, so they waited for TJ to begin again. "Death is a encyclopedia salesman" TJ said solemnly, "who lets you know that you haven't a clue where the hell Paraguay is. It's never occurred to you once, that you lived your whole life not knowing where the hell Paraguay is. Somehow knowing its location now seems necessary.

So you buy in and get and the companion leather bound atlas that you try to use like a road map. And there you are waiting at the bus station like a freakin' idiot waitin' for a way to Paraguay. But it never comes-wanna know why? Because Paraguay is a state of mind, brother and sisters. Not a real place-a five paragraph essay and a line drawing of a map.

Like we could all be in Paraguay right now on this roof if we wanted it badly enough. But no, we take the high road-running the race, playing the game, till one day you find yourself shiverin' with the rats ready to take your last breath. And you think that's all there is.

But don't worry. It's all right now, because it's not Paraguay that you really want. It's Paradise; and it comes is small miracles. And there is only one thing that you need to get there."

Sunni looked at Burke for support regarding TJ's rambling analogy. TJ seemed to be loosing coherency by the moment. Maggie began to move closer to try to assist TJ, but he held up his hand to stop.

"It's anywhere away from here. I'd like to go back" he said. He feebly began crawling up the railing.

"TJ," began Burke soothingly.

"Don't!" rasped TJ, "Don't try to talk me down brother, or it's over. I'll jump. Right here, right now. I want to go home."

He finished his ascent, and sat precariously on the railing. He had been incredibly wobbly while walking; it was a wonder he could keep his balance. TJ closed his eyes, trying to keep the world from spinning.

"Burke I want to go home. Burke are you here?"

"I'm here TJ."

"Is Jak here?"

"Yes Jak is here too."

TJ leaned back and almost lost his balance as he began to take roll call. "Jak, are you here?" he repeated.

"Yes I'm here."

"Where is Fluke."

The group looked at each other not knowing what to say. "Fluke is in the space room" Burke offered.

"Yeah in the space room-layin' down with his head in the pyramid; hookah hose meandering in, clouds billowing out ...heh-heh" TJ tragically laughed as he pictured it. "Where's General Marchbank?"

"Marchbank is on the couch TJ, you know that."

"Yeah...I should have known that. He's watching Herbert about now. Show should just about be over today right?

"Yes TJ. Herbert's popping his eye out about now."

"And Marchbank's laughing his ass off! Sunni. Where is Sunni?"

"Right here TJ."

TJ leaned backward again, but caught his balance. "Banyon, I want to go home" he repeated. Mostly-Bob looked as though he was about to lunge forward to catch TJ, but Burke diffused him with a serious look. Burke had been inching forward all along. He only needed to move a few feet closer and then he could burst forward to catch TJ if he needed to. He kept moving one precious inch at a time.

"Let's go back to the house and get a couple of beers TJ." Burke thought of a way to lure TJ down. "Come on buddy, it'll be just like old times.

"NO! no."

"Please come down, you're scaring me. You're not that sick" pleaded Fauna.

"You" he gasped for breath, then sadly grinned wryly at his inability to complete the sentence. The world was spinning around faster and faster. He started again, "You should try taking a walk in my shoes." He paused, then continued, "I don't need a doctor, I don't need a hospital. I don't need for you to LIE to me and tell me that I'm not that sick; that everything will be OK. There's only one thing that I need right now..."

A spotlight illuminated TJ's backside from below as a voice crackled over a loudspeaker. "THIS IS CAMPUS SECURITY. MOVE DOWN OFF THE RAILING AND TOWARD THE CENTER OF THE BUILDING. YOU ARE UNDER ARREST FOR TRESSPASSING." Shimmering on the canyon walls of the buildings below, they could see the pulsating blue and red reflections of police car lights.

Just what they needed, another stranglehold of stress to compound the terror of the moment.

"TJ come down NOW! You're scaring me" Sunni pleaded.

"Sunni" he looked at her pleading face. "You're right. This won't solve anything-will it? Sorry for scaring you all. Truth is, I'm scared myself, real scarred. Let's go back; back to the house and have a couple of beers and few laughs, whadda-ya-say guys?

There was an uncomfortable silence for a moment as TJ contemplated coming down and Burke inched closer.

Mostly-Bob could not resist the urge to ask "What is it TJ? What is the one thing that you need?"

"It's the only thing that we really have, this..."

He never finished his sentence; where TJ had been was suddenly a void. Before anyone could even gasp he was gone. Burke reacted quickly, but all too slow. His arms flailed over the empty spot where his friend had been sitting a second ago. Desperately he leaned over the railing; his eyes open wide in terror.

TJ was falling, falling...

Banyon heard a scream--detached--in the distance; like an echo fragment in a nightmare. He covered his eyes with his hands and shut them tightly, he could not bare to see anymore. But the image of TJ plummeting to the Earth was now vividly burned into his mind. As he visualized-it occurred to him that that TJ had an ethereal calm about him. The deep lines carved into his face dissolved into the youthful image of a TJ from 25 years ago. Superimposed over the face of this falling man was a TJ who was calmly stretched out on the folds of an inflatable raft on a calm summer day, in the middle of a peaceful lake.

"Purification," whispered Burke to himself.