This week's been quite
fast, and I think things will be going pretty fast now I'm
getting ready to go to Mexico. K has written lots and I
have thought a lot about her, and how I'm feeling at the
moment. Halfway through the week I felt quite miserable,
because I realised how much I'd put her through these
last months. I had thought about it before, but it all
seemed to hit me at once. I love her, and she loves me
and at times I don't know what I'm doing being nearly the
other side of the planet from her. Anyway, I wrote all
this in some emails, and she wrote back saying she's glad
to know how much I think of her, although I shouldn't
depress myself thinking too much. She really is wonderful.
I'm changing jobs next week - back to the
data input stuff. The place I used to work for wants me
to come back for a while, which is fine by me as they're
paying more money. Customer services is all right, but
the way they treat their staff is awful - it almost
encourages people to leave. In the four weeks I worked
there at least ten faces had changed by the time I left.
I went out for some beers with a few of the people I knew.
It was OK, but I really can't socialise well at the
moment. Either I end up babbling about teaching or Mexico,
or I just go quiet. I don't know what it is, but I'm sure
the British beer is stronger than elsewhere - it all just
fucks my head up so much.
The language school I worked for at
Easter have written back to me offering places at their
summer school. I wouldn't mind, and I really appreciate
the fact that they appreciate my teaching, but the money
takes so long to be paid. I had to wait two months for
the money from March, and I still haven't been paid for
April. Teaching's great, but I just hate the poverty that
goes along with it! I know I should keep teaching to keep
in practice and for some stimulation, but it's one of
those dilemmas that take time to think through.
I see the clock's ticking down until I'm
off - only twelve days to go and still nothing planned.
We have hopes, K and I, and that's all that matters at
the end of the day. I shall keep my hope within my heart
and send my fears to another part. Until next week, mi
querido diario!
