The months have passed
and now it's time to go back. I've babbled in these pages
for nearly three months, sometimes hysterically
optimistic, at others leadenly pessimistic. Now I'm
somewhere between the two and hoping that I'll be able to
keep it together next week. On balance I think I've made
it through fairly well, but I'm not the person who should
be judging that. It's up to K to see how well I am, and
whether she still loves me enough to let me go again.
This last week I was a little down, mostly because I was
scared about what would happen when I saw K, what would
happen when I leave. Then I remembered that we can't
control the future - so I'm just going to accept whatever
happens. I think that makes me feel stronger.
Other than worrying about things I have no
control over, it's been an eventful week. A travelling
friend of Jack's appeared in my town on Thursday. Somehow
she managed to battle her way through the switchboard at
my work and found me. It was good to have some drinks and
talk about Jack. It seems he's doing OK in Oz, although
he's only just got a job, so he's reverted back to being
a lazy bastard. I always am one though, and would
recommend the mellow approach to life to anyone willing
to listen, so I don't blame him one little bit.
I've been wracking my brains trying to
think of things typically English recently. Buying
presents for K's family is something I should have
thought about months ago, instead of right now, but I
always do the last minute thing, so I haven't changed
that much. Besides, last minute shopping is so much more
spontaneous! I hope they like what they get, especially K,
as it will be her birthday whilst I'm out there, on the
31st. I might as well confess that we're both Gemini's.
This is supposedly bad, but it hasn't bothered us so far.
I'm touching the large block of wood in my head as I say
this.
I guess that's about it. I'm off next
week, so unless I'm not going to spoil my holiday by
analysing it. The break will give me a chance to think
and talk about things with K. I hope we're still on the
same wavelength, because she's a wonderful human being
and I love her very much. Time tells all, so I won't
steal its job by trying to guess. Thank you for listening
to me, and putting up with my bullshit. I'll try to save
you some stories from México.
¡Hasta luego!
