-
Sit in your parked car at
lunchtime, wearing sunglasses and pointing a hair
dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down
-
Page yourself over the intercom.
Don't disguise your voice.
-
Insist that your e-mail address is
Xena-Warrior-Princess@companyname.com or Elvis-the-King@companyname.com.
-
Every time someone asks you to do
something, ask if they want fries with that.
-
Encourage your colleagues to join
you in a little synchronized chair dancing.
-
Put your garbage can on your desk
and label it "IN."
-
Develop an unnatural fear of
staplers.
-
Put decaf in the coffee maker for
3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her
caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.
-
In the memo field of all your
checks, write 'for sexual favors.'
-
Reply to everything someone says
with, "That's what you think."
-
Finish all your sentences with
"In accordance with the prophecy."
-
Adjust the tint on your monitor so
that the brightness level lights up the entire
work area. Insist to others that you like it that
way.
-
Dont use any punctuation
-
As often as possible, skip rather
than walk.
-
Ask people what sex they are.
Laugh hysterically after they answer.
-
Specify that your drive-through
order is "to go".
-
Sing along at the opera.
-
Go to a poetry recital and ask why
the poems don't rhyme.
-
Find out where your boss shops and
buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day
after your boss does (this is especially
effective if your boss is of the opposite gender).
-
Send e-mail to the rest of the
company to tell them what you're doing. For
example, "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the
bathroom, in Stall #3."
-
Put mosquito netting around your
cubicle. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
-
Tell your friends five days in
advance that you can't attend their party because
you're not in the mood.
-
Call 911 and ask if 911 is for
emergencies.
-
Call the psychic hotline and don't
say anything.
-
Have your coworkers address you by
your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
-
When the money comes out of the
ATM, scream, "I won! I won! 3rd time this
week!!!"
-
When leaving the zoo, start
running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run
for your lives, they're loose!"
-
Tell your boss, "It's not the
voices in my head that bother me, it's the voices
in your head that do."
-
Tell your children over dinner.
"Due to the economy, we are going to have to
let one of you go."
-
Every time you see a broom, yell
"Honey, your mother is here!"
