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1. a chalk outline of a human body on the sidewalk, and a few copies of The Watchtower scattered around...
2.Say in a very sweet voice (for Leigh-Ann-w/ a southern accent) "I'm sorry, I don't give a damn about Jesus." Works every time. The Witnesses just back away in slack-jawed, bug-eyed disbelief.
3. You have to be prepared for this one. The more sincere you appear, the more baffled the Witnesses will be: Answer the door with an automatic weapon and say 'Allah be Praised!!!' and just see what happens.
4.Ask for their address. If they ask why, just respond 'so I can visit you to push my beliefs. Wanna bet they won't?
5.Answer with: Thank you but I already have a religion. Most likely them will ask what it is. Then say: I'd really rather not say. (a pause) I'm not sure if it's legal in this country.-I like this one a lot
6.Answer the door with a bloody knife and say, "I'm sorry, could you come back in a half hour? We're not done with the virgin yet."- Something I would do
7. Open the door, hand them a plastic fork, and say, "Jesus sucked at foozball." Then close the door.
8. Open your window, throw a pumpkin through it, and yell, "Oh my god, he's getting away!"
9. Throw open the door, jump into their arms, and ask, "Will you be my lawyer?"
10. Tell them they've got the wrong house. "Yeah, those Satanic bastards live down the street. Throw great parties, though." Point them to a minister's house, if the opportunity presents itself.
11. Open the door with a sword belted at your waist, and say, "Ah, just in time for our duel. Did you bring the elk?"
12. Once more, open the window. This time, however, yell, "Hey, Jehova, your damned witnesses are at the door, again! Can I shoot them this time?
13. Open the door, tell them not to bother you, because you're worshiping Satan, and then slam the door.
14. When you see them coming down the street, open all the windows in your home and proceed to blast Marilyn Manson's "Anti-christ Superstar"
15. Put a sign on your front door that says "Do not disturb, human sacrifice in progress"
16. Invite them in for tea, when they come in, ask them if they'd like to meet your dog, Lucifer.
17. Set your lawn sprinkler at the edge of the lawn, as soon as they walk past it, turn it on high.
18. Open the door, listen to their ridiculous speech, but every time they say the word "lord" say "yes, my child?"
19. Open the door, pretend they are a delivery person, and say, "oh good, my statue of Jeffry Dahmer must be here! It will look great next to the one of Norman Bates, how much do I owe you?"
21. Open the door, listen to their lecture, and then ask if you could get that in writing.
22. Pretend you speak Spanish.
23. Tell them you have to go, you are late for target practice, ask them if they would like to participate.
That's all I have right now.
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