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*pinch yourself for your luck*.
"I'm turning tricks, I'm getting fixed/
bounced back up on my feet/
I'd like to quit the business/
but I'll change that thought next week/
The thought of you is fragrant and the loss of you complete/
There's nothing but a scratch or two/
A thousand kisses deep/
I looked to long for reason hidden in your sighs/
You breathed sweet desperation and I saw it in your eyes/
you have my hand so hold it/
It's forever yours to keep/
And expect those frequent scratches/
And thousand kisses deep...
-knock yourself out, kids. we're going to work on merging today,yielding tomorrow. Holding on to that last bit of freedom will ruin the entire process. Can you be blamed? No..it's understandable that what you have inherently known for so long defends the complete loss of your will...but does that really happen? Do you really lose your identity. Is this all encompassing submitting of yourself just a way of taking away your personality? Or rather a shifting of priorities that you really didn't have organized anyway?
When you're in school,you have to distinguish yourself somehow and music is a good way of doing it. Out here, you're doing the opposite-broadening your scope and getting more friends, because you're suddenly alone. Remember the music you like is the music you lost your virginity to. And you can only get that feeling one more time...your submission is your other cherry...and I swallow it, pit and stem...*
"Take it from the top/
I hate to see it end/
It doesn't matter the plot/
wish it weren't pretend/
Once we've done the scene/
and if it ain't quite right/
We should use the method/
and practice through the night/
Now we do the look/
Now we do the touch/
Now we do the long embrace/
and soon the real good stuff/
I think you know the part/
Your motivations fine/
I'll be the director and/
lets turn this into art.*"~~~~~~~"
I get happy and sad over you/
you know what you put me through/
All the beauty that covers your face/
caused a big mistake/
and from you I learned many sides to the truth/
and happiness in shadows/
you pout when you tell me your punishments due/
I tie you up and ravish you/
You can consider it a measure of my love/
I wake up to your perfume/
I don't sleep till you're wreathed in chemicals call it a distraction/
But I know it starts a chain reaction/
and it's true after all the things we've been through/
I can be friends with you/
your beauty was always calling me to throw you down and take you/you can consider it a measure of my love/
It's like fighting a river-It's like fighting the sea/
It's like fighting emotion everytime you're here/
and it's true after all the things we've been through/
I can't stop loving you/
But you knew all I've ever wanted to do/Was take my sword and run you through/You can consider it a measure of my love....."*~~~~~~~~
In the D/s relationship, the give and take is better defined than in the "normal" one. The need (what's necessary) and the want (what's desired) mix and match and the separation isn't there anymore. At this point you can accept that what you hope is right, is indeed right.
In a "normal" relationship, the only difference in how men and women differ is that women are allowed to show their emotional wounds but not their anger where men show their anger but conceal their emotional pain. And no..this is not anything more than the stereotype but the defining points are strict.
In our lifestyle, because roles interchange the gender, but are clearly stamped Top to bottom, the only boundaries are what we make. we have places in our heart that do not yet exist, and into them enters suffering so that they may have existence. we grow and adapt according to adversity, and I personally feed into that. Eat up....
Today..just one of those..EVIL..moods..
#Mothers' cool reptilian womb ain't so cool tonight/
My fingers trace the exit wounds by graveyard light/
There's bonedust in my throat and everything is dead but it's alright/
Take it easy..you bleed so easy/
Bleed me an ocean,bleed me an ocean tonight/
By electric graveyard light/
Bleed me an ocean,let me rot beneath the sky..teach me how to die/
Bleed me an ocean..as the blossom eats the butterfly/
Can you feel the cold death as it rides along your spine/
let the blackness roll on..you bleed so easy/
Let the blackness roll on/
I was sexless in the clouds again/
I was chasing the cold,cold wind/
I've become bored with flesh and bone again,the deepest alone/
I was riding the turbulence an ocean of hades..tasted like sex on my tongue/
It's all downhill from here on the outer nowhere..let the blackness roll on/
you bleed so easy/
Let the blackness roll on..I was stoned to the drone of blackness that hums/
I've become bored with flesh and bone again/
The blackness roll on..you bleed so easy/
Just like a raindrop I was born to fall and scale these prison walls/
It was over before you were born/
sucked into the vacuum of this universal tomb/
Old blossom dies like a young girl breathes/
The insects hum with their hunger and grieve/
An icon of pale bone..static white dream/
Blind in the wilderness/
Everybody scream/
I couldn't find my way out the door..we all died..then woke up on the floor/
I ride the painted whore..she gives good universal scream..#
..One of the most valuable things we can learn from this exotic lifestyle is that our programming is changeable. Starting by questioning all the ways we have been told our sexuality ought to be, we can begin to edit and rewrite our old "tapes". So by trying something..new, we both free and empower ourselves. $$
"This place is a mess/
All the lies and all the threats/
send them back to a quick-kill nest/
I couldn't care less/
...so who was it I disappointed? Did I not react the way expected? Did I do all this for anyone but me?..
"But you'll need me again/
when the creeps come around your bed/
and its easier to stay undone/
than to sleep inside my room/
...just when I expand on my ways, you make me go backwards? I need to be true to myself. At least I still can...
"and the colors coat me like a plague/
in some old film/
stand tall,find a way to make them fall/
settle down my kissless sleep"...and I know that it is the way..just the way. But I don't want to kill it,I just want to like it..."
I got old friends and you got new friends and I can't believe they're the same people....
you'll have what I have from the beginning/
you'll have what you need when I end it/
a smile,a brush up against me/
I'll love you so damn completely..Hate-will be my pillow/
Alone-will be my daughter/
Come back-will be your mantra/
stay away-will be my saving grace/
A new one-will put me to sleep..."$$...>>
Knowing how to go too far-but not too too far-that, in a phrase, is what the challenge of today is all about. It's a matter of expanding personal boundaries, challenging oneself to live excitingly, creatively, successfully...giving every part of existence true value to ourselves, our loved ones and the world at large.
Society is still consumed by puritanisn..This strange dynamic is what gives sex so much power and danger..and this lifestyle rides the edge of even that. You cannot take the heart or mind away. They have to be given...
"Does the steam yet rise in billows?/
I taste your sweet salt kisses still/
stolen moments of My favorite watersport/
when you locked your thighs around Me/
I entwined My legs still more/
and my final waistdeep plunge/
laving liquid crystal the better to define/
all that senses so well bind/
I could not get enough of you,it is My disgrace/
it is such a small enclosed space..."+++
Just to sit and listen, to watch the unknowing asking the well-read questions..and the lost getting the answers from the non-practiced. And to say more would make me sound rather snobbish..*smile*..and I would not want to be the one to burst the bubble. Everyone needs heroes..and I would much rather focus on behavior then the person.
It is important to reference what a person does rather than to label him as you imagine he is. To focus on description rather than judgement. Judgements come out of a personal frame of reference or values, whereas description is more neutral.
This being the case.. try some of the following:
1-be vulnerable with someone you trust.
2-allow yourself ample playtime without feeling guilty.
3-forgive yourself for hurting others and yourself.
4-forgive yourself for letting others hurt you.
5-forgive yourself for accepting sex when you wanted love..
"I live for your fond caress/
songs you sing to me/
gather me up in your arms/
I need no one-just you/
You fill me up with dark thoughts of you/
the devil talks to me when you're touching me/
my lust it burns deeply inside of you/
together we are as one/
we live our lives in passion/
full up with thirst/
I drink your light and beauty for always...Feel so old now/
as the glitter skies turn to gold/
you do as you're told/
and swallow the bitter pill/
and though you search for higher ground/
and dance to the moon like you're spellbound/
in a nothing world, where nothing lives/
Did you fall from grace?/
and the rhythm of it all/
Did you make your place?/
in the darkness as it called/
Feel so cold now/
as the madness moves uncontrolled/
you fall to the floor and lie like a broken doll/
and with poison bloodstains on your gown/
from the crown that you found/
you scream like a hellhound/
in your empty room with your empty soul..."
..Never be afraid of going slowly,only be afraid of standing still.>>>
As any honest Dominant will tell you, role-playing is a vital aspect of the BDSM scene. By role-playing, I do not mean that the Dominant's persona is in any way an act; rather, that the persona is a conciously enhanced aspect of that person's character. These character traits are often emphasized to create the proper mood for a scene, which assists the submissive in entering "sub space". Or the Dominant may emphasize a character attribute in order to explore His own psyche-to see where certain emotions and thought patterns might lead,and thereby learn something of himself.
"From where it burns spirals of exotic scents/
rose,sandal,jasmine,all kinds of incense/
aged fragrances only dreamed of once/
Masters do dream far beyond the sense/
we make love in the dusty throne of a modern Sodoma"
In a healthy BDSM relationship, the submissive is kept in sub space through a desire to please her Top. The need to "measure up" is inherently a submissive one,because praise or rewards are given by those in authority or power-those whose opinions are valued, and whose good graces are fervently desired.
It is often hard to maintain this kind of unequal power balance in long-term relationships. This is because we've all been taught that we need to accept our partners as they are, without judgement. But when we vocalize those sentiments, we (as Tops) lose our power to control by giving up the one true tool in the Dominant's arsenal: the submissive's sincere desire to please at any cost.<<<<<
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