I.
Blazing scarlet sign
Not as cool as Waffle House
But still quite tasty.

II.
Yuppies frequent here.
Too costly for poor students
So why do we come?

III.
An order of fries
A turkey melt, no dressing
Water and a malt.

IV.
Spiky haired waiter
No towels in the restroom
Comment card awaits.

V.
Beacon in the night?
Mothers and football coaches
No, it must not be.

VI.
We lack social skills
Cannot make friends normally
What a bloody mess.

VII.
NWO
T-shirts haunt me everywhere
Rednex go away.

VIII.
Tree, leafy and green
Lonely sojourn through the cheese
Smut, smut, smut, smut, smut.

IX.
I am Kerouac.
This is truckstop in Denver.
Hitchhike 50 miles.

X.
Brandon, orange hair
He was in music theory
Geetar playin' boy.

XI.
I am so amused
By this odd situation
Surely you must hate us.

XII.
Are you still reading?
You have a job to do now.
Clean off the table.

XIII.
How can you stand it?
All the Americana
Must drive you insane.

XIV.
March on, H.J. Heinz
Salty tomato substance
It is red and slow.

I want to go home NOW!
Home, my ass. I want to go back to Elliott.

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