**********************************************
Business Jargon...
**********************************************
ASSMOSIS - The process by which some people seem to
absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss.
BLAMESTORMING - Sitting around in a group discussing
why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER - A manager who flies in, makes a lot
of noise, shits over everything and then leaves.
SALMON DAY - The experience of spending an entire day
swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
CHAINSAW CONSULTANT - An outside expert brought in to
reduce the employee head count, leaving the brass with clean hands.
CLM - Career Limiting Move - Used among microserfs to
describe ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss
while he or she is within earshot is serious CLM.
ADMINISPHERE - The rarefied organizational layers
beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that
fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly
inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
DILBERTED - To be exploited and oppressed by your
boss. Derived from the experiences of Dilbert, the
geek-in-hell comic strip character. "I've been
dilberted again. The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week."
FLIGHT RISK - Used to describe employees who are
suspected of planning to leave the company or department soon.
404 - Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web
error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the
requested document could not be located. "Don't bother
asking him . . . he's 404, man."
GENERICA - Features of the American landscape that are
exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast
food joints, strip malls, subdivisions. Used as in
"We were so lost in generica that I forgot what city we were in."
OHNOSECOND - That minuscule fraction of time in which
you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE - The fine art of whacking the
crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
UMFRIEND - A sexual relation of dubious standing or a
concealed intimate relationship, as in "This is Dyan, my ... um ... friend."
Go To Page 7
Click to subscribe to RUreading
This page hosted by 
Get your own Free Home Page
