YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A NORTHERNER SAY...
Thank you.
You go ahead ~ you were here first.
No rush ~ just get to it when you can.
Hi y'all.
I really don't have an opinion on that.
Come on in and have some supper.
Mother ~ when it refers to the maternal parent.
The office and schools will be closed today due to the snow.
Just disconnect that horn ~ I never use it.
You need some help with that?
Gosh, I hope I didn't hurt his/her feelings.
Southerners sound so educated when they speak.
I'll pass ~ I don't drink.
Just set that broke refrigerator on the front porch.
You have a nice tan.
I think there's too much violence in ice hockey.
I don't know where my family originated ~ I'm just an American.
Have a nice day.
I'd like to think that over before I comment.
Corned beef on white with American cheese.
Velveeta.
We think we'll retire to beautiful New Jersey.
Could you please speak a little more slowly?
Thanks, again.
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TIPS FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH:
Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.
If you forget a Southerner's name, refer to him/her as "Bubba." you have a 75% chance of being right.
Just because YOU can drive on snow and ice doesn't mean WE can.
Stay home the first two days after it snows.
If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four-wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a chain will be along shortly.- Don't try to help them. - Just stay out of their way.- This is what they live for.
Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.
Do NOT buy food at the movie store.
If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let alone eating.
Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's"is plural possessive.
There is nothing sillier than a Northerner imitating a Southern accent,unless it's a Southerner imitating a Boston accent.
Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?"
People walk slower here.
Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you either.
The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big ol'," as in big ol' truck and big ol' boy.
Eighty-five percent begin their new Southern-influenced dialect with this expression. - One-hundred percent are in denial about it.
Be advised: the "He needed killin' defense" is valid here.
If attending a funeral in the South, remember, we stay until the last shovel of dirt is thrown on and the tent is torn down.
If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!" ~ stay out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say.
All Notherners in the South can be identified by the spit on the inside of their car's windshield, that comes from yelling at other drivers.
Satellite dishes are very popular in the South.- When you purchase one, it is to be positioned directly in front of your trailer. This is logical, bearing in mind that the dish cost considerably more than the trailer and should, therefore, be displayed.
You can ask a Southerner for directions, but unless you already know the positions of key hills, trees, rocks and where buildings USED to be, you're better off trying to find it yourself.
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