WARNING! This page expresses severe sorrow and rage. May trigger bad memories for many!
I AM SORROW, THE ANGEL OF DEATH!
I am the embodiment of all fears, depression, pain and anguish. I am the left over emotions of a woman gone insane.
I feed on the sorrow, I feed on the pain. I die a little every night.
I am disappointment, and plans destroyed.
Parents play a game in deception. Perfect masks to hide the horror and the pain of what they cannot face having done... what they can never admit to themselves... the proof I wear inside out.
A plan to run to a new life failed. A chance to start over, with new parents who did not wear masks... gone forever. I am the failure. I am the Sorrow. I live in eternal night, tortured by the knowledge that my very existance is denied. Sorrow is not allowed.
They say I am insane. The ones who claim to love me call me mentally ill, and flee from me in fear. More masks to hide the horror inside. My eyes pierce through the masks to see the pain and the lies. I know I'm not to blame. Not this time.
An infant left with a demon for a caregiver while her parents drank and celebrated elsewhere. A demon in the shape of a man came to destroy, to please itself by destroying the innocence of a babe. Her parents were unaware... Her parents merely watched her naked body dance the years away. Pour the wine, beat away the Sorrow, for Sorrow is not allowed.
A child unloved in a world of God. A child beaten by friends and loved ones for being different. Raging voices cry inside to end it all, end it all now! Sorrow is not allowed.
A woman left alone inside herself, clutching memories of promises
broken, chances lost or never taken. A vagabond with piercing eyes, full of Sorrow. The Sorrow exploded, and the woman died. I remained, a dark secret, a demon unexorcised, for Sorrow is not allowed.
After all, I have a "happy" family. Don't make me laugh!!
I wish I were dead. I want only to fall asleep and never wake up. Why do I remain? Why am I still alive? It is a lingering feeling of guilt about the others inside... the ones who wish to live.
I am a danger-seeker, consequently. I always have been, and perhaps that is truly why there are so many of me. Now I look for Dark Angels. Now I search for those who could kill me in a second...
...but they wouldn't. Why bother? Why bother with me and my problems? Better to leave me to die, since death is what I long for, isn't it? Well, is it?
Is it?
I will continue to search in all the darkest corners for one who can help me... one who will not lie to me and leave as have so many others. If he kills me when I find him, so much for the better. Either way, I will have found that which I seek.
Go ahead and kill me, but do not lie to me. Do not lead me on. That kills me inside, while my body lives on... this earth is my personal hell.
Copied with permission from the author.
http://www.oocities.org/Area51/Hollow/2691/sorrow.html
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