What the New Job Lingo Really Means

• "JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY": We have no time to train you.
• "CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE": We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
• "MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED": You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
• "SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED": Some time each night and some time each weekend.
• "DUTIES WILL VARY": Anyone in the office can boss you around.
• "MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL": We have no quality control.
• "CAREER-MINDED": Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
• "APPLY IN PERSON": If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.
• "NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE": We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
• "SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE": You'll need it to replace three people who just left.
• "PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST": You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
• "REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS": You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
• "GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS": Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.

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