About Tom
Name/Aliases:
Thomas "TS" Francis Murtagh. Nicknamed "Murtz" by no fewer than six separate people
on six individual occasions. Known by many as "Shortarse". Goes into internet chatrooms
with the handle of "Seedy Spice", "Psychotic Spice" or "Sic Spice". Takes advantage of
the fact that both his first and last names can be pronounced as though they contain
profanity. Chose his confirmation name "Paul" over "Peter" because he wanted to keep
his name entirely free of the letter "e". Insisted on being called "Mitch" for a
brief period in 1994, and "The Red Baron" for an even briefer period in 1995. Now
responds to the surprisingly obvious title of "Tom" when he isn't concentrating.
At all other times chooses to go by the cryptic name of "Rosencrantz", and quotes
to irritating extents from the play Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead.
Height:
A bit taller than Nick.
Weight:
Undeterminable. Has inherited the "nerd" gene from his dad, which causes a complete
absence of body fat. As a result, he holds the world record for the 50m
"running-like-a-girl" (scheduled to be an exhibition event at the 2000 Olympics).
Blood Type:
Mainly A positive.
Age:
A great deal less than the magic number.
Shuffled onto this mortal coil:
February 5, 1980. How about that ... exactly 37 days earlier, and he would have
been a child of the seventies!
Favourite colour:
Is colour blind (an allergic reaction to being asked to help choose tiles, paint,
carpets and curtains as a small child).
Favourite texture:
That great soapy texture that your fingers feel like when you get a base
on them.
Favourite smell:
Mmmm ... new bedsheets.
Favourite fingerfood:
Tacos with too much spicy sauce.
Favourite pastime:
Practising his touchtyping of the home keys. A SAD LAD HAD A FAD.
DASH AS A GLAD DAD HAD JAFFA. FADS A LASS HAD SAD. Is also stalking five
different people, three of whom are Spice Girls.
Earliest scarring memory:
Finding out that the gristle in meat pies and the tough bits in steak are
actually the cow's blood vessels.
Favourite beverage:
His own bodily fluids - remember, "waste not, want not". Apart from that, a good,
hot, strong coffee.
Favourite colour jelly bean:
Purple.
Special psychic abilities:
Can telekenetically bend spoons with his bare hands.
Can recall 'pi' to four decimal places.
Has developed the ability to see precisely one second into the future. Sadly,
he has not developed the ability to speak long, potentially useful descriptions
of these future events within the psychic timeframe.
Boasts a complete mastery of the Dewey decimal system.
Favourite inorganic chemical:
Potassium permanganate.
Favourite group I element:
Cesium.
Favourite time of the week:
Really really early on Monday morning - the best way to drive people nuts is to look
cheerful, or even comment "Hot enough for ya?" on a cold winter morn.
Favourite character off "Friends":
The dead one.