Stupid Lawsuits
Wendell Williamson filed a lawsuit in June in Hillsborough,
N.C., against his former psychiatrist, Dr. Myron Liptzin, blaming
him for the 1995 shooting rampage in Chapel Hill, N.C., in which
Williamson killed two people and for which he is now housed in a
state mental hospital. Williamson claims he was impelled to the
rampage because Liptzin had just retired, leaving Williamson
without counseling.
Garrett Maass, 34, who failed his bar exam in 1994 (63.868
points, versus 65.000 for passing), sued the Oregon State Bar in
federal court in Portland in September, claiming that he would
have passed except for the incessant sound of a jackhammer doing
repair work outside the test site. Maass, unfortunately, also took
the exam in 1997 without a jackhammer and also failed, but he said
he still would have passed in 1994.
LEXINGTON, Ky. (09-17) - A drunkard is suing law enforcement
because officers were too easy on him and gave him a chance
to shoot innocent people.
Michael F. Schmitz claims that at the time of his arrest police
officers handed him back a SKS Assault Rifle with 27 rounds
when they couldn't figure out how to operate it. Officers
instructed him to dismantle and remove the clip from the
weapon, even though he was drunk and violet at the time.
In his $1.9 million lawsuit Schmitz says that he could very
easily have started shooting people and that the police
should never have given the weapon back to him once they
had seized it. He believes that society should be protected
from the likes of him and his lawsuit will teach the police
officers a lesson.
WASHINGTON (AFP, 09-12) - Pennsylvania Attorney General
Mike Fisher released the "Top 10 list of frivolous inmate
lawsuits." In one case, an inmate claims his free speech was
violated when prison officials prevented him from ordering
magazines with titles such as "Gang Bang Family,"
"Cheerleader's Best Orgy" and "Daughter Loves Dog."
Another prisoner who was disciplined for having oral sex with a
visitor filed a lawsuit arguing his penis accidentally fell out of
his pants.
In another case, a prisoner alleged "that unknown law
enforcement officials are sending transmissions to a microchip
which Department of Corrections employees have surreptitiously
implanted in his brain."
Frivolous lawsuits cost Pennsylvania taxpayers $3 million each year.
MILWAUKEE (10-13) - A lawyer is suing for $5000.00 because
he claims his suntan lotion ruined his vacation.
S.A. Schapiro said that the lotion "provided no protection of
sun burning". Cory Nettles, lawyer for Beiersdorf, Inc., which
produces Nivea Sun, says that the label indicated that the
contents were suitable for people who rarely burn or who have
deep based tans. The product used had a protection factor
of two, yet the American Cancer society recommends a factor
of at least 15. Nettles says that he never ceases to be amazed
at the cases that cross his desk, stating that this case strikes
him as "absolutely ridiculous".
VISTA, Calif. (10-23) - Prisoner Joseph Baker, 36, filed a lawsuit
against the county because the bag of tortilla chips he purchased
at the jail's store "did not contain the Food and Drug Administration's
regulation that stipulate that nutrition facts must be contained on
the package." Baker is seeking $100,000 because he "suffered
health problems" as a result of improper nutritional information.
PITTSBURGH (10-21) - A panel of Superior Court judges dismissed
a case in which an inmate sued a company over a labeling mistake.
Keith Maydak, 26, measured the tablespoons from a 10-ounce bottle
of Bartolacci Private Stock Olive Oil and found it contained only 21,
as opposed to 128 advertised on the label. The judges wrote in their
final review: "We find this case extremely hard to digest." Maydak
plans to appeal the case to the state's Supreme Court.
In August, 1997 Scott and Sonya Rutherford filed a $40,000 lawsuit
against a Houston, Tex., school district because the baseball
coaches at Cypress Falls High School failed to use their son enough as a
pitcher to give him a chance at a college athletic scholarship. The
Rutherfords say, also, that they have been humiliated around town
by the coaches' failure to play their son. According to the
Rutherfords' lawyer, the coaches' decision violates the U. S.
constitution.
JUSTICE IS SERVED!!!
In June 1996, News of the Weird reported that construction
worker Thomas W. Passmore, then 32, had filed a lawsuit for
$3.35 million against a Norfolk, Va., hospital and four doctors
over the loss of his hand. Passmore admitted to having severed
the hand with a power saw because he believed it to be possessed
by the devil and to having refused twice to allow doctors to
reattach it, vowing that if they reattached it, he would just cut it
off again. However, he claimed the defendants were negligent
because they ought to have persuaded his family to overrule his
poor decision. In September 1997, after a 30-minute
deliberation, a Norfolk jury ruled against him.
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