What the hell were they thinking...?



In a domestic spat in Dallas, Tex., in August, 1997, the wife of Abel Alaniz pulled a .380 semiautomatic and fired at her husband, but nothing happened except a click. According to police, Alaniz then took the gun from his wife, released the safety, and handed it back to her, admonishing, "If you're gonna shoot me, you got to do it right." Her next shot missed him, but the second one hit him in the back, sending him to the hospital.

Toby L. Sanders, 34, was charged with aggravated battery in Carmi, Ill., in January for chopping off the right middle finger of Lester E. Massey, 35. According to police, each man agreed to let the other chop off a finger, but apparently Sanders reneged after he saw how bad Massey's hand looked. (Police said alcohol was involved in the original agreement.)

Derrick L. Richardson, 28, was charged in April in Minneapolis with third-degree murder in the death of his beloved cousin, Ken E. Richardson. According to police, Derrick suggested a game of Russian roulette and put a semiautomatic pistol to Ken's head instead of a revolver. (For the gun-unschooled: There is much less mystery to the game if played with a semiautomatic, in which the one bullet automatically goes to the firing chamber.)

Julio Guaman, 31, landed in a tree, with a broken pelvis, after a five-story fall from his Queens, N.Y., apartment in December. According to his wife, Julio had lunged at her in a fight in order to push her out the window, but she ducked, sending him out.

Earl Zea, 34, of Johnstown, N. Y., removed his penis with pruning shears in May because, later telling the district attorney, a man was interested in him romantically, and he thought if he removed his organ, the man would leave him alone.

ANAHEIM, Calif. (11-24-97) - After robbing a bank, a man slipped into a disguise consisting of a business suit and ... pink fuzzy slippers. After being caught, the man couldn't give the police a logical explanation as to why he was wearing the slippers. He and a fellow female accomplice also gave conflicting stories. Police were helped by a resident who reported a burglary, in which some clothes and pink slippers were stolen. The man and woman were held on $50,000 bond, each. Sgt. Joe Vargas said about the disguise, "The suit was OK. But he really should have taken less of a fashion risk with the shoes."


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