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Bill's wife of two centuries (he said that, not me) was reading about the impending increase in the price of US postage stamps. She lowered the paper, turned to him, and very seriously said, 'As many stamps as you use, dear, you better go stock up before the price goes up.' -Joke A Day
A married couple went to the hospital together to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the father of the baby. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it. The doctor set the knob to 10 percent for starters, explaining that even 10 percent was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine, so he asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20 percent pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and pulse and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this, they decided to try for 50 percent. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since it was obviously helping out his wife considerably, he encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic. When they got home, the mailman was dead on their porch.
Adding to the list of stories that were formerly weird but which now occur with such frequency that they must be retired from circulation: (31) The discovery of gobs of undelivered mail at the home of a postal worker (usually after he got behind on his deliveries and needed to hide it), such as the 10-year-old, unopened mail found at retired postal worker Ralph Horvath's home after he was killed in a fire in Chicago in January.
GOING POSTAL TIP #1: If you ever go temporarily insane, don't shoot somebody, like a lot of disgruntled postal clerks do. Instead, try to get some weeding done, because man, you'd really be surprised.
Humorous Regulatory Tidbits and Stupid Human Mail Tricks
So there is this guy, kisses his wife good-bye, gets into his BMW to drive to work in the city. He's gone about a mile when he remembers he forgot to pick up his watch from the bedroom, so he turns the car around and drives back home. When he walks into the bedroom, there was his wife, totally naked on the bed and the mailman standing, totally naked also, besides the bed. The mailman promptly went into a squatting position on the rug and says, "I'm glad you're here Mr. Smith, because I was just telling your wife that if she doesn't sign for the package, I'm gonna shit all over the floor!"
Let's not get carried away now, people!
Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps? They had pictures of lawyers on them... and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
Leslie said if I told her story she promised not to "go postal". She works in the post office and had a lady come in to buy a stamp to put on her large, oversize envelope. "I told her that the postage would be higher than a regular letter. She was upset about that and said it was a 'rip-off'. I asked
her why she thought that and she said, 'the place I'm sending
it has a large enough mailbox, so why should she have to pay
extra,'?" Duh!!!!
I'm laughing WITH you, really!!....
20 WAYS TO ANNOY YOUR PUBLIC BATHROOM STALL-MATE
SOME IRRELEVANT FACTS
SIGNS THAT YOU ARE TOO DRUNK
THINGS TO DO IN AN ELEVATOR
HoW To KeEp A HeaLthY LeVel Of iNsAniTy In ThE OfFiCe AnD mORe..
PIG TEST
PRACTICAL JOKES
KIDS ADVICE TO KIDS
THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO HMM....
AIRPLANE NONSENSE
GOING POSTAL TIP #2: Coming soon to a theater near you- How to lick self-adhesive stamps.
Kevin Costner's movie sucked.
I found myself asking a customer if they wanted self-stick or non-stick stamps,(I meant to say self-lick)And they actually asked for the non-stick stamps, hoping it would be a cheaper cost per stamp since there was no glue! Go Figure!!!
MY FAVORITE LINKS AND WHY MY FRIEND LIKES CHICKEN
Postal Traumatic Stress Story - Rigid managers, brutal deadlines--is it any wonder some postal workers are ready to snap?
DISGRUNTLED,AN EXCELLENT ON-LINE DISGRUNTLED MAGAZINE FOR THE PISSED OFF IN ALL OF US!
"THE MAILMAN WOULD NOT KILL -(The inside story why postal workers kill) by Henry Madere - a 'see dick run' kind of book, inside the head of a disgruntled mailman!"
Going Postal-THE BOOK! 19 original tales
"Here's your chance all you football fans! Cheer for your very own team in the ultimate football league called 'DISGRUNTLED MAILMEN'!"
"GOING POSTAL"
"POSTAL PROPAGANDA: Click here to get to the GOING POSTAL game and other not-to-miss excellent disgruntled stuff"
There are
disgruntled postal incidents happening right now!
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