I don't know about you, but I kind of like bumper stickers. They give me something to read while I'm stuck in traffic (something that is really not all that common here in Portland, Maine). Some have made me laugh out loud (and have probably given me strange looks from fellow drivers wondering if my medication has just worn off), and some have made me want to get out of my car and holler, "F*** YOU!" at the owner of the offending sticker (this usually happens around election time, especially when certain groups of conservative Christain groups want to end certain rights and protections to individuals who happen to love somebody of the same gender, those same rights and protections that everyone else has - oops, I'll get off my soap box now).

The best one that I've ever had invoked two very differrent responses. The sticker read, "Why do we kill people who kill people to prove that killing is wrong?" One response was from a woman who came up behind me in traffic while I was waiting for the go-light to tell me when to go. I was sitting there, minding my own business, when I heard someone beeping their horn at me (this is usually very annoying). I looked in my mirror, and the woman first pointed to my bumper sticker, then gave me the thumbs up sign. Ahh, another like minded individual.

A few days later, while standing around at work waiting for a delivery (I work as a pizza delivery driver), one of my fellow drivers came into the store, looked at me, and angrily stated, "I can't believe that you're against the death penalty." I calmly responded that I was, and that noone has ever been able to give me a satisfactory answer to the question posed, which annoyed him all the more (much to my enjoyment).

Anyways (sorry to take so long), here are other bumper stickers seen on the roads of America's highways, sidestreets, and occassional alley. Enjoy.

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

I love cats...they taste just like chicken

Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather.... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car....

Forget about World Peace..... Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!

He who laughs last thinks slowest

Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.

i souport publik edekasion

We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

Montana --- At least our cows are sane!

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

If you don't like the news go out and make some.

I Brake For No Apparent Reason.

When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.

When there's a will, I want to be in it!

Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?

Few women admit their age Few men act it!

I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it!

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!

IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you have got.

Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all it's students!

It's lonely at the top but you eat better.

According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist.

Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

Warning Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock.

I'm out of bed and dressed, What more do you want?

I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.

We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things got worse.

Happiness is a belt fed weapon

Friends don't let Friends Drive Naked

Wink, I'll do the rest

I took an IQ test and the results were negative

Reality? That's where the pizza delivery guy comes from!

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math

Ever stop to think andforget to start again?

I'm a corporate executive I keep things from happening

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame

Never wrestle a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.

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