Jewish Pick-Up Lines

Use at your own risk!

Do you want to see my Haftorah portion?
I got a trust fund for my bar/bat mitzvah, what'd you get?
Do you want to spin my dreidle?
Your father must have been a rabbi because he stole the vowels from the Torah and put them in your eyes.
That's the nicest looking yarmulke you're wearing, but it would look even better lying in my bed tomorrow morning.
Can I put my Torah in your ark?
Is that a mezuzah in your pocket or are you happy to see me?
Can I part your Red Sea?
I've got ten commandments you can follow.
Going out with me is like having Chanukah all year long.
Want to wander through my desert?
I've got a Ramses in my wallet that wants to put you back in slavery.
I've got six pieces of gelt and a grogger back at my place.
Why don't you bring your matzoh balls over here next to my gefilte fish.
Why should we recline tonight instead of on all other nights? Cause I'm holy, baby. Real holy.
Some guys use whip cream. I'm a potato latke man myself.
Let's go eat.

Top 5 Reasons Jewish Girls Marry Doctors

5. It's required according to law as written in the Talmud. At least that's what Mom says.
4. Get all those free tongue depressors to make cute crafts at home.
3. He can explain all that medical lingo in "ER".
2. Can't find any attractive lawyers.
1. With all those nights on call, you never have to fake a headache.

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Last updated November 24, 1997