From X-Files Top Ten Lists.

10. The Fox Network would have to rely even more on Aaron Spelling for their new shows.
9. The Convention companies would go out of business.
8. Mulder's nickname would be "Insane" instead of "Spooky."
7. The "paranormal" would have no one to play with.
6. Mulder and Scully would finally have to get together if it wasn't.
5. Cancer Man!
4. Mulder and Skinner would have to get together if it wasn't.
3. I've seen it..... Honest!
2. It wouldn't be much fun to say: "The Falsity is Out There."
1. The little green man told me so.

10. "The alien is speaking, Agent Mulder....I think it wants to phone home."
9. "Sure, we could have these people killed to protect what they know...but isn't that a little harsh?"
8. "I've seen this one before, Scully. His name is Casper, and he's what we call a 'friendly' ghost."
7. "Look under the mask...this is no swamp monster.....it's Mr. Handy, the owner of the old country store!"
6. "My Lord! This conspiracy involves all three of the Gabor sisters!"
5. "Well, Agent Mulder...you caught us. We'll cooperate fully, of course. What would you like to know?"
4. "You'll be happy to hear, Assistant Director Skinner, that I've switched over to the nicotine patch."
3. "The president wants to see you two immediately. His cheeseburger is possessed."
2. "And it would have worked, too, if it hadn't been for you meddling FBI agents!"
1. "Gosh, I guess we were wrong...the government did have our best interests at heart, after all!"

10. Mulder will start a barroom brawl at his bachelor party by arguing the existence of extraterrestrial life with a drunk biker and Skinner will end up back in the hospital...
9. They would get into a big fight over whether to decorate the new place with O'Keefe prints or alien autopsy photos...
8. Mulder would never be sure he's marrying the REAL Dana Scully....
7. They would have to find a sitter for those late night meetings with Mr. X...
6. The redheaded FBI tech would be so depressed he'd forget to turn off his bunsen burner and burn down the crime lab...
5. They would have a heck of a time explaining the family tree to the kids..."Well, Grandpa Mulder and Aunt Melissa were iced in a government conspiracy,...and Aunt Samantha was kidnapped by aliens..."
4. All that classified testing they would need to get done to see if their kids were alien/human hybrids...
3. The kids would always wonder why Mom won't let them rent Bambi...
2. Mulder would finally get his hands on a photo that conclusively proved the government's UFO coverup, only to come home and find Orwell using it as a chew toy...
1. M&S would quickly tire of spending so much time together, get a long, messy divorce, and the show would become the Ex-Files!

10. X File Videos don't complain if you only spend an hour with them.
9. You can keep as many X File videos on the shelf as you want and not lose any of them.
8. You can do one X File Video after another and nobody thinks you're a sleaze.
7. You can push a button and shut up an X File Video.
6. You can walk out on an X Files Video and it will keep still until you get back.
5. You can roll over and go to sleep and an X Files Video will finish by itself.
4. An X Files Video will let you watch while it plays itself.
3. You can turn on an X Files Video anytime you want.
2. X Files Videos are at their best in the dark.
1. X Files Videos always come in threes....

10. He is secretly Bambi's uncle.
9. Thinks Krychech and Scully would make a cute couple.
8. Hasn't asked Scully out yet, himself.
7. Promised Mulders father that he would never let his son be happy.
6. Dosen't want to buy them wedding gifts.
5. Two words "He's evil."
4. Made bar bet with Well Manicured Man that they'd never get together.
3. Thinks Mulder shouldn't date a sceptic.
2. Did I mention "He's evil".
1. Finds tormenting millions of X-philes to be amusing.

10) Scully does not sing songs relating to her mothers suicide
9) Mulder did not sleep with the casting director to get into Days of our Lives
8) The last time Skinner went into a coffee shop, he got shot
7) Chandler's online name was decidedly NOT TrustNo1
6) LSD has never been pumped into the Friends' water supply
5) There are no shadowy government figures seen in the vicinity of Central Perk
4) The closest thing to a sewer monster is Janice
3) Ross and Rachel have never been near killed by a pair of psychotic valley girls
2) All they have gotten from all the TV they watch is a lack of a social life
1)Barry was not revealed to be a homicidal lake monster

#10. Scully performs an autopsy. However, nothing spontaneously decomposes, comes back to life, or gives off a faint floral odor.
#9. Scully performs the Heimlich maneuver on Mulder (hee hee) when he chokes on a sunflower seed.
#8. Cancer Man switches to Virginia Slims.
#7. Agent X gives Mulder some useful information, then pats him on the back and tells him what a good job he's doing.
#6. Scully begins a phone conversation with something other than "Mulder, it's me"
#5. dream sequence in which entire cast is transported to the land of Oz (Mulder is Dorothy)
#4. past-life experience in which Mulder IS Scully
#3. Scully's plastic-baggie lab samples keep disappearing under questionable circumstances. The mystery is rather mundanely solved when her dog Queequeg upchucks on the rug.
#2. Scully gets sloshed. Really, really sloshed.
#1. Mulder discovers that not only is the truth out there, it was in the back pocket of his trench coat the whole time.

10. Mulder: "You know, I never really liked my sister."
9. Scully: "Mulder, what have you been smoking?"
8. Mulder: "Hey, Scully. Have you noticed that we have the worst sex lives in the galaxy?"
7. Skinner: Anything decisive.
6. Cancer Man: "You know, I really love screwing with people's heads."
5. Mister X: "Unless you two stop hitting me and pointing guns at me, I'm leaving."
4. The Alien with the Knife: "Asta La Vista, Baby."
3. That Fat Guy that Works with Cancer Man: "What have I done to deserve such disrespect?"
2. Mulder: "I really miss Bambi."
1. Scully: "Stop calling you 'Fox?' Let's see you make me. Fox, Fox, Fox!"