As you know, Disney loves to "sugar coat" anything it says to the public and encourages us as Cast Members to do the same when we speak to the Park Guests. Here is a list of "Disneyland Cast Member Lingo" and its unofficial "translations":
"We're sorry but we are experiencing technical difficulties at this time."
--->Something bad just happened.
"At this time we ask you to reverse your steps and exit the line."
--->Something really bad just happened.
"We should be operating again in about an hour."
--->We have no idea how long it will be.
"Thank You."
--->Go away.
"How many in your party?"
--->Are they with you?
"These 3-D glasses will impair your normal vision."
--->They look goofy if you wear them outside, and we get in trouble if anyone sees you with them.
"Excuse me, I see that you have a pair of 3-D glasses from the show. I'm sorry, but i'll have to take them. They remain Disneyland property and we recycle them."
--->Gimme those glasses before I hurt you! If you keep them we will run out of glasses and have to shut down the show until we get more from Florida!!
"Excuse us, please."
--->If you don't move, a one ton cart will run you over.
"No flash photography, please."
--->Its not worth taking pictures of.
"Rows one and two."
--->Go stand over there.
"We will have to hold our position here for a few minutes."
--->The submarine in front of ours is on fire and if we move forward we will be too.
"Everything is fine. There is nothing to worry about."
--->Everything is not fine. There is plenty to worry about.
"This is a walkway only. I need you to keep moving."
--->Beat it before i hit you with my flashlight."
"I need you to step out of the planter now, please."
--->What the @#$%& are you doing in there?!
"Yes, I do work here."
--->What tipped you off, genius? The name tag or the dorky costume?
"No, I'm sorry, the Tasmanian Devil is not a Disney character and therefore is not available for pictures in our park."
--->You're an idiot.
"I'm sorry that this attraction did not meet with your expectations."
--->Bite me.
"My, that's an...interesting shirt."
--->How did Security let you in wearing that filth?!
"Please remain calm."
--->It's time to panic. You are all going to die.
"The nearest restrooms are right there."
--->See that big sign in front of your face that says RESTROOMS in bold letters? It's right under that.
"That attraction is not open yet."
--->What did you think all those green and blue construction walls were up for? Decoration?
"I'm very sorry, but your child does not meet the height requirements for this attraction, it would be unsafe for him to ride."
--->As much as I would like to see your little brat paralyzed, I would get in trouble if it happened. Now go bother somebody else.
Compiled by Derek Stucker, with some of my own additions.
Trash can copyright The Walt Disney Co...I guess you could say that...
© 1999 Me
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