MY LIFE - FEBRUARY

Tuesday, February 27, 2001

People still aren't writing me back (with a few exceptions), but at this point I'm starting to care less. It becomes pretty obvious that a lot of it has to do with the fact that I've been working a lot over the last month and haven't been getting online until after 11pm in most cases, even when I get a day off. Lack of real time communication seems to be the problem right now.

There really isn't much I can do about that either. Even on my days off, I've been busy with a lot of different things. Some related to my car, some related to getting my room cleaned up, some involving me hanging out with friends. There's not much that can be done when it comes down to the bear facts. And I can't change the fact that I haven't been getting online. There just isn't anything I can do.

I'm sorry about this too. I can only do so much with the time I have and some days I'm just too tired to really do anything, which is why this site hasn't been updated much aside from a few things here and there. There's just nothing I can do about that. If I could make more time, I would, but it just isn't going to happen. Maybe with the way things are going at work I'll be bumped up to earlier shifts, but that doesn't seem likely.

It also doesn't change the fact that certain people seem to be ignoring me on purpose when I do manage to get on. Attempts at talking with a couple of people have gotten me nowhere and I've pretty much given up on that. Things seem to be changing all around me again and as usual, I'm not finding anything out until the very last possible moment.

Which is fine. As of this point in time, if a person doesn't write me back, I don't have any reason to write them. I may write them a couple weeks down the line just to say hi (I really don't want to break off any friendships; y'all mean a ton to me), but I'm not going to continually write someone who doesn't have anything to say to me.

It just doesn't make sense.

On to other issues. In the next couple days I'm hoping to get some pictures scanned up to be displayed in an upcoming entry. The pictures will be of our new dog, Shade, my room (and all my junk), my car (which is already scanned up), and the two cats up here. I'm thinking of setting it up as a "Take A Tour" kind of deal, but I'm still not sure. I'm still not sure when I'm going to get around to scanning them anyway. It only takes a few minutes, but I hate playing around with everything I have to do.

Some days I'm exactly what I hate being and that's lazy. But hey, what do you want? I've been working a ton lately and the motivation just hasn't been there at work or at home. I do want to get them up since some people have been curious.

I also want to find some of my baby pictures to put online. When that's going to happen is beyond me right now. It's something I've thought about, but I manage to forget everytime I have some free time to try and get something done. I think I'm the only person around who actually likes their baby pictures. They pretty show me as I was. Quiet, curious, and very often asleep.

It's strange. In a lot of the pictures, I'm asleep and I haven't quite figured that one out yet. From what I know though, I was always sleeping, usually where ever I was put down and without regard to what was going on around me. That and being quiet made me an unusual child, which probably explains why I'm so strange sometimes now.

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My mom's been telling me about this girl that evidently went to Brunswick with me and who remembers me and has been asking my mom all about me. My mom told me her name, but it only vaguely sounds familiar. I almost want to say that I knew someone by that name, but I can't place a face to the name, not even with the description my mom gave of her.

Of course I'm all curious about this too now. My mom first told me last week, so I asked her to find out some more info on this girl, which my mom did. It drives me crazy because I hate it when people remember me but I don't remember them and I should remember them. I hate it when my curiousity's aroused as well because once that happens, I just have to find out what I'm curious about.

I guess my mom told her where I work, so maybe she'll stop by and I'll be able to figure out who this person is. I might recognize her when I see her, but I don't know since I can't figure out who it is.

I guess when I find out more I'll post it.

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I've recently gone around and deleted a lot of the personals ads that I placed either because I'd have to pay a monthly fee to do anything worthwhile or they just weren't worth the effort. Oh, and did I mention they did absolutely jack shit for me in the first place?

One thing I've found is that most of the girls who use the personals log in once, then never go back again and probably don't even have the same e-mail that they had when they signed up. Then there's another group that don't reply to your e-mail because of any number of things, primarily being that they don't like you or think you look like that pile of dog shit they walk past every day.

The biggest flaw is not always knowing who it is that wrote the ad. About 90% of them don't have pictures online and about half of those are capable of putting a pic up, they just don't. I've made every attempt to put a pic up on my ad (except when I forget or don't want to reformat it so that it can be displayed) and there's always a couple responses initially, but nothing that's really earth-shattering.

I've also discovered that making attempts to talk to girls who might interest me don't get me anywhere either. So all in all, the online personal ads aren't really worth the time and money. I'll keep one posted in ads that are free of charge, but I'm not going to continue to spend time digging through ads when it isn't getting me anywhere.

I've learned a lot from the ads though. Just not what I expected to learn.

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Some miscellaneous notes...I went to The Spark to take some of the quizzes they have on there. I'm a healer according to the personality test and I'm still in the process of taking the IQ test (which I think I'm majorly bombing). I had no idea it would be so damn long otherwise I would have avoided it. Right now I'm on question 820. Good thing I have plenty of laundry to do...We moved the scratching post for the cats from the living room up to my room since the cats down there weren't using it. Within minutes Kisa was making an attempt at ripping the carpet off the post and has spent a lot of her time sleeping on top of it.

Morgue doesn't seem to know what to make of it himself. He kind of sits on top, but then starts running around like there's no tomorrow. I really have to figure out what's up with that cat. On another note, Kisa's now six years old and doing great....I have the inventory specialist class on Saturday, so maybe by then I'll have figured out just what I'm supposed to be doing and how this inventory specialist title affects my schedule and standing in the store. And don't forget about pay. As of right now, I'm the lowest paid tech in the store and I have more experience than three of the techs I work with.

As long as things stay quiet at home and at work, I think things will all work out in the long run. As for the e-mail thing and my take on being online, I'll just give it some more time before I decide what I'm going to do, if anything.

Right now, I'm getting to the point where I just won't care anymore and everyone will have to deal with that.