MY LIFE - MAY

Thursday, May 23, 2002

Today's picture looks a whole lot better than last night's for one obvious reason: I got my hair to do what I wanted it to do and it looked a whole lot better than yesterday. So, I will immediately remove all traces of that picture from the rest of the site to spare anyone else from the horror that was that pic.

My hair's stubborn. It always has been and probably always will be. It does not want to lay flat on my head. It does not want to be brushed the way I am brushing (especially along the edges). It wants to stick up and make me look like a less-than intimidating pinhead.

Today, it worked a little better. I've also managed to get my hair to stay in place for an entire day, something that I couldn't do before for some reason. Before, the gel/hair spray would lose its affect after about 4 hours. Now, I know it can go longer than a day. Found that one out last night.

I fell asleep with my hair still done, well, more like I passed out. When I woke up around 4 in the morning, my hair was still in place and was still in place at 7:30 when I got up to get ready for work today.

It's still in place now, although the one edge is no longer in place like it was earlier. Seeing that it's 3 in the morning though, I can't complain.

I think a lot of people still don't know what to do or how to react. Our intern, Susan, last saw me with my full head of hair. Everytime she talked to me about something or asked me something, she'd look up at my hair.

It's not that bad, is it? I know yesterday, it didn't look that great, but today, I felt pretty good. I also think it looks better because I shaved off the mustache that I had grown up. I'm just going to stick with the hair on my chin and nothing else. It seems to look better to me anyway.

I think most people just need to get used to it. I think it looks okay (nobody's told me that it looks bad), no, I think it looks fine and I like it. I don't necessarily like spending 20 minutes fighting with my hair to get it to do what I want it to do, but I liked the results this morning (yesterday, I didn't really care for it and didn't really like the way it came out).

I think this is also the longest stretch that I've gone without wearing a hat. The last time I wore my hat was on Tuesday night, right before and after I cut my hair. I have not worn it since and was very pleased when I rolled down the windows in my car and the wind had no affect on my hair (it's a freaking helmet, I'm telling you!). I also could lean back for the first time in ages.

Yeah, small things get me.

I think once everyone's over the period of adjustment, things will be fine. It's just getting through that adjustment that's going to be difficult. Every since I last changed my hair (back in 1994), any attempt at doing something different lasted one day at the most. I could never stick with it. When I was using gel and hairspray before (yeah, I thought it would work better), it was a pretty generic hairstyle. Not that this isn't, but I like how it's gone so far.

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A few people I talk to online have suddenly started giving me the cold shoulder of late, most of it coming right after I said I was cutting my hair. I found this interesting for one real reason and only one: no one online has ever seen what my hair looked like before, so how could you say you liked it better then?

I mean, it's fine if you don't like the way it looks (it pretty much looks like shit online to begin with), but don't just stop talking to me because of that. Every picture anyone's ever seen up until now has had me wearing a hat in it. A hat that I'll still be wearing.

Yet the reaction I was getting was that people didn't think I should do it, that they thought my hair was fine the way it was, etc. Truth is, no one that I've talked to online has ever seen what it looked like, so there's nothing to compare it to.

Well, you can't win them all I guess. People are going to be people and look at you and think that this looks bad. I'll admit, every picture that I took from yesterday looked really bad. The one for today is better, but there's still some glare, only from the light that's sitting right in front of me. The picture quality is better though because there was a light on behind me as well, so it wasn't a big contrast like yesterday.

I still managed to pull a rating of 7 on Hot or Not, but that's lower than what I had been getting, which was between 8 and 8.5.

I think the picture itself had a lot to do with it though. I'm really hard to see, I have this poor excuse for a mustache on my face, and I'm faking a really bad smile (yeah, it's there). Tonight, my hair is a little better, the god-awful mustache is gone, and it's just me looking at the camera.

I hate talking about myself though. I feel like I'm trying to make myself sound like I'm some really good looking guy that everyone should adore when the truth isn't quite that. I don't think I look bad, in fact I think I look better now, but I don't think I'm hot stuff either. Otherwise, I'm sure I'd be getting a better response from girls that I think are really attractive.

Don't get me wrong, the response has been pretty good, but it's not like every woman in the area is jumping at the chance to get with.

Face it, it's going to take a lot of working out for me to probably get a lot of girls' attention. I'm not all that strong and while I've been working at it, it's not something that just happens overnight. It's very gradual, but I'm not going to just stop. I figure if I'm in good shape, have at least some muscle, my luck will improve greatly.

I'm not really hung up over the dating thing anyway. The way I see it, I still have a lot of college ahead of me and I figure that there will be plenty of opportunities for me to meet girls and go on more dates. I'm just getting restless right now.

It's real simple too. No matter how much bad luck I've had with dating, I just can't help myself. I love girls. I love looking at pretty girls and I like talking to girls too. I just can't get enough even though my experiences have been pretty shitty for the most part. I just have this urge to date and it's not going to go away because things don't work out for me.

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I've been doing something rather bizarre over the last week and I think it's due to a couple of things. What is it? It's my sudden tendency to talk using more slang than I was using before, specifically, black slang. I've been saying "aight" more and saying things like "don't trip over that shit." It's weird and I think it's mainly influenced by the movies I've been watching lately and this girl I talk to online who talks that way.

It's gotta be freaking weird for a black person to hear a white person talk like that too. They gotta be thinking something's seriously messed up or wondering just how much more gay this person can make themself look.

I've been doing it though. I can't really figure out when I started doing it, but it's been going on for a couple of weeks and I can't really explain what's compelling me to talk that way. No, it hasn't really shown up on the site, but the way I've been talking to people indicates that I've picked up on some things.

I say "y'all" a lot and I've been known to suddenly say something that sounds completely ludicrous coming from my mouth. I'm about as white as you can get, so if you ever hear me talk like that, it's probably going to make you laugh.

I'm like that though. I pick up on shit like that and it usually lasts for a month or so before I move on to the next stupid trend.

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A couple of notes before I end this....Anyone in the area or who's going to be in the area on June 4th should take note that I'll be at Six Flags in Aurora, Ohio for the annual Local 880 Union Day, although I'm not going because of my union, I'm just going because I can get everyone discount tickets and it'll be my first trip up there this summer. So now you know where NOT to go that day....I'm still trying to figure out where the glitch is in my page designs that causes some links to be underlined, others not to be. The correct format is the one where there are no lines, just the different color text. Some pages display right while others don't. I haven't found the problem yet....Yes, I know I haven't mentioned "Tribe Watch" in ages. Well, it's not a lot of fun to talk about a team that hits worse than a bunch of t-ball kids. What the fuck is the problem with these guys? Omar Vizquel should not be the only one hitting over .300 on this club. The pitching's been great, but with no hitting, it's a lost cause. The kicker? Being swept by Detroit this week....I have been quietly laughing over the criticism that President Bush has been getting lately. All of a sudden, he looks like a complete moron and I'm glad. He's a bonehead and everyone should've seen that coming. He just can't do the job without messing something up....The next person who makes a reference to "the buzzards swooping in on my head" in reference to my haircut is going to get bitch-slapped. Enough already. Two days of shit for this is enough. Y'all just can't get enough of it though. Getting your shots in while you still can. It's okay. Shit comes back around eventually.