Saturday, July 24, 2004

It never fails. Maybe I should take these sort of things as a sign. When things like this happen, things go very well for some strange reason.

Tonight, as briefly mentioned yesterday, was the night I was going to go on a date with Jessica after talking to her for a few days. The fact that I was convinced to do this speaks very highly of how well I felt I had gotten to know her in the brief time that we had talked, making it worth the risk to see what I was in store for.

Anytime something awkward happens with me, it seems to lead to good things in some strange way. Take for instance finally meeting her. I wasn't sure if it was her, so I looked at the girl and asked very awkwardly what her name was. When she said Jessica, I was relieved. I had looked like an ass, but not a complete ass. The hardest part had passed.

A few things passed through my mind upon looking at her for the first time. One, she looked very nice. She looked, well, for lack of a better term, classy. As is custom, I noticed her face before anything else and thought that it was a very pretty face. Her eyes were very pretty, her hair looked really nice (which is indeed saying a lot since I'm not always someone who likes short hair, but I loved hers), and she was, well, she just looked really good for lack of a better term.

I didn't say anything immediately, but I definitely thought she had nice lips too.

We went inside Houlihan's in the mall and were seated almost immediately. This would be the beginning of an interesting experience.

Almost right off the bat, I knew I was feeling shy around her. It would pass quickly, but it was there, which can be taken as a good sign. Our waitress arrived fairly quickly, took our orders for our drinks, and this is where I had my first moment with Jessica.

Somehow, while I moved my hand past the top of my drink, I nicked the straw, and defying some law of physics I'm sure, managed to make the straw flick out of the drink and directly in the direction of Jessica, landing right in front of her.

A couple of things could've happened. There was a slight, albeit very slight chance that she wouldn't notice and I would be able to grab the straw without much notice. There was also a chance that she could've noticed, been offended by my childish behavior, and it could've ended right there.

Instead, she thought it was funny, cute, and just handed my straw back. How it was cute, I don't know, but hey, I am not about to argue with that. So what I nearly took her eye out? She found it amusing. That was as big a moment as I could've imagined. It showed she had a sense of humor and that she wasn't going to get bent out of shape easy.

The rest of dinner went well. We talked, shared stories, and generally got a good feel for each other. We also both thought it strange that the waitress continuously was checking up on us. I actually started timing her at one point to see how long she'd go between stops. The longest was ten minutes.

Afterwards, I knew that she was interested in me. Not just because she was asking me things and talking to me like someone who was interested, but because when we got outside the mall, she asked if I wanted to do anything else. After some thinking, we settled on going to Borders across the road for a while where the conversation continued.

The thing that surprised me, outside of how attractive I thought she was, was how we just seemed to click in a way that was astounding to me. I had figured we'd get along, talk well, but I never anticipated us clicking as well as we did. There was a lot of eye contact, a lot of conversation, and it just seemed like this was something right, something that was beyond worth it. As I continued to look in her eyes while talking to her, I could feel it creeping up in me that this was a girl I wanted to date, a girl I wanted to be with.

I knew what I wanted to focus on. I knew what girl I wanted to be with. This was the girl that was going to make me forget about the things that have happened with Molly. This was the girl that was right. It was in my mind, but I didn't know if the time was right. In the back of my mind, the thought of how I've been burned by jumping into things too soon was there.

But something felt different with her. Maybe it was the way she looked at me and smiled. That in itself was melting any self-doubt I may have had, convincing me that this girl was the one to go after. It was driving me mad inside, the desire to just ask her out.

All the while, as we talked at Borders and eventually ended up outside by her car talking more, it continued the feelings were continuing to build. I took a chance and put an arm around her to see what she did. At first she put her hand on my side for a moment before pulling away, but then she eventually put it back and kept it there.

As we talked, it seemed like we were both hinting to each other what we wanted to have happen next, but shyness was taking its grip on me. I knew what I wanted to say. I knew what I wanted next.

When she looked at me and asked me what she should call me when talking about me, the hint was smacking me in the face. I asked her what she wanted to call me, she smiled and said she didn't know, and slowly, but surely, it progressed from there.

I said I thought she'd make a good girlfriend and she said she thought I'd be a good boyfriend. I was still being coy about it all, but finally got it out that I wanted her to be my girlfriend. It wasn't really elegant, but it was done.

As a result, I'm not single. As I write this, it still hasn't sunk in. Not because of regret or doubts, but maybe because it's been so long that I'm not sure how to react. I'm sure once I hit bed and think about it, it'll hit me and I'll get excited, but right now, it's still sinking in.

I think what did it for me was I did get the strong sense that she liked me, that she was interested in me from the get go. She didn't get freaked out when I used the "voice" that I use at work all the time and with people I've known for years. She looked at me when I talked to her. She smiled at me. She did all these things that made me feel like I was interesting to her, that she wanted to know more. I felt, well, important, like I mattered to her.

The best moment? When I kissed her. Now that was a "whoa" moment for me. I don't know if it was the fact that she has such nice lips or if she just really knows how to kiss, but I've never had a kiss that was that good. It felt really, really good. I can't even find the words to describe it properly. I thought it would be a nice kiss, but thinking about it, my heart starts racing again and the magnitude of how good a kiss it was sinks back in.

I can't remember ever feeling a kiss like that. Ever. It was that good. Her lips were just so soft. It blew me away. It really did.

I know I'm going to go into work and be tempted to talk all about it, but I don't know if I'm going to do that. Not because I don't want to talk about her (shit do I ever want to), but because I work with people who talk about other people's business and things tend to get twisted in a hurry.

If I tell anyone, it will be Sarah, but that's not until Monday. She's probably the only one that needs to know right now. She's the only one I trust to tell. Granted, she'll probably tell Nichole, and when Nichole finds out, it will be all over the place, but that's okay. Nichole at least doesn't twist words around. She just doesn't shut her trap.

Next time I talk to Megan, I'll tell her to. I also have to tell Megan that she was right about Molly. I never mentioned this in here, but when Megan talked to Molly, she must have sensed something because when I got the phone back, she told me Molly wasn't right for me. I at least owe it to her to tell her that she was right. Maybe Megan deserves more credit than she's given.

For now though, I'm not going to get all crazy about it. Mike needs to know, as does Jen cause I know she's probably still worried about my dumbass. My mom needs to know too, but she's too tired to talk about it tonight.

However, that said, once I start talking about her, I know I won't be able to stop. She's made that much of an impression on me.

This has a chance to be very good.

---

Work took forever today. It was incredibly slow, and coupled with the fact that I had a date later in the day, it made the day so much slower than it already was, especially after lunch.

As a result, much of the afternoon was spent fidgeting around nervously, wondering what I was in store for later in the day. Okay, nervous probably isn't a strong enough word. I was certainly anxious, but I was also excited.

As it was slow, there was plenty of time to badger Nichole and Peggy, and with the help of Cora, it was that much easier to do. Granted, it's not hard to begin with since Nichole walks into most of the jokes used, but it made it that much more fun. It was also nice to have a Keith working that wasn't a pain in the ass. He's also working tomorrow, so that should make tomorrow a good day too, at least until the thought is realized that the regular Keith is still around.

Today wasn't busy, but there were a lot of really stupid people with really stupid questions. It was such a strange thing too because usually that doesn't happen on Saturday. You usually get a Saturday morning rush of scripts, but today we had the attack of the numbnuts.

It started off funny, but after a while, it got real old. It wasn't funny anymore when we were blamed for some woman's birth control not being covered anymore by her insurance because she had to use mail order. Thankfully, her husband must have gotten through to her what we couldn't and took care of the situation with us, resolving that issue.

It was like that all morning too. If it wasn't a dumb question, it was someone's life story. I had one woman tell me four times that one of her refills needed a doctor's authorization, but we couldn't do it until Monday, so if she couldn't pick it up then she'd pick it up later in the week. I didn't need to have her tell me four times. I know the procedure for getting refill authorizations. I do.

After a while, it just died out completely. I let Peggy leave at 3:30, setting the stage for me to leave at 4:30.

In my infinite wisdom, I failed to realize that this just gave me more time to ponder the upcoming date later, however, I balanced that with the prospect of doing nothing at work for another hour as well. Let me think about that one for a minute.

So I left at 4:30, got home a little after 5, and proceeded to kill about an hour and a half of time.

The rest of the day is history, and something I will remember for a long time.

Even if it does involve a straw.

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