MY LIFE - OCTOBER

Monday, October 30, 2000

Today was like any other day, aside from the fact that I didn't work. I got up, played a video game for a little while, got dressed, and went to do some minor banking. I went to the store to get some milk, pop, sandwiches, and some shortening before heading on home. I got home, ate my turkey sub, and read the paper before getting to the real only major task of the day, making a cake.

Oh, and today was my birthday.

You would have never guessed by the way things went down. It was just a quiet day with not a whole lot happening. I didn't go anywhere. I just stayed upstairs in my room and messed around for a little bit with some games and watched some tv. I did go for a drive later in the day, but it wasn't very far since I didn't really have it in me to do a whole lot today.

There was no hint it was my birthday until my mom came home and said happy birthday. Then I went online and found two e-greeting cards from Jennifer (thanks a ton for those by the way), but nothing else. No one else I talk to wrote or said anything yet. The only card I've gotten so far is from my insurance agent. I'm sure there will be some more in the next few days, but I'm kind of disspirited right now.

Sure, I don't like attention. Sure, I don't ask for anything special, but there wasn't a whole lot of recognition from those around me that it was my birthday. Neither sister really said anything until later in the day. So really, it was almost like no one knew it was my birthday.

I guess I'm okay with that. I don't really like any kind of hoopla over my birthday anyway. It really isn't necessary and probably isn't really worth it for those who know. After all, it is just me. It'll be easier to move on with the rest of the week now that it went this way.

I'm 20 now, but I guess it doesn't really matter.

---

It really wasn't that great of a day. I've been kind of out of it and all these fucking political ads are starting to really get on my nerves. Every other commerical is an ad for some candidate who spends 30 seconds bashing his or her opponent without really saying a whole lot about themselves. It wasn't that bad when it was just Al Gore and George W. Bush, but now all the locals are running ads.

It just gets on my nerves. I cannot stand all the bashing. Negative ads are the worst thing that politics could've come up with. They're totally unnecessary and in my opinion, make the person the ad supports look like a really slimy person. I've seen 'em all so far and I don't like one of them. It's just too much to stomach. All these candidates are saying that they'll do this and that while they're opponent won't and they have the stats to prove it.

It's all a bunch of bullshit. You and I know this. Once these people get into office, or in many cases, stay in office, they don't do a damn thing they say they're going to do. Politicians speak a lot, but they don't do a whole lot. It's just one bullshit claim after another from them. I'm sure you remember elder Bush's "no more taxes" routine back in 1988. Yeah, he kept that one.

It just gets to me now. I find myself changing the channel with disgust, only to find another sleazeball ad attack, sometimes from the opponent. I know that negativity ads have been running for a long time. That's what sickens me though. There are people who see these ads and believe what's being said. These people don't always realize that the bad quotes are only excerpts, not the whole story.

Then there are the newspaper endorsements. Every newspaper is endorsing a candidate and that bothers me. I don't care if it is in the editorial section, the newspaper as a whole should not be endorsing anyone whatsoever. That is not the newspaper's position. That is not being impartial, a necessity to a newspaper. They'll bash the ads, then promote the same person who came up with the ad.

I just don't understand it. I can't watch these ads anymore. Politics isn't about people anymore. It's about how much a person can gain in the shortest amount of time. No longer do politicians really care about their constituents. If they did, and if the rest of the politicians really cared, we wouldn't have all these bipartisan problems.

That's another thing that pisses me off about politics. Voting along party lines. This is something that should not happen. You do not vote on an issue based upon what your party as a whole feels. You vote how you feel. I've seen this so much, then the excuses start flying afterwards. The politicians who vote along party lines come up with excuses for why they did that. Then a week later, they advocate the same thing they voted against.

Politics is like the "Jerry Springer Show" right now. There's finger pointing, being being two-faced, and all sorts of cheating going on left and right. Then they do an ad where they say they're against all these things.

Okay, I'll believe that the day that Jerry Springer is considered a decent human being. In other words, never.

---

I am a bit catankerous today. I've had a headache most of the day and haven't really felt all that great of a person since I woke up. I guess the way the day went and the things I've been seeing on the tv has left me kind of empty inside. I'm not really myself today. I haven't wanted to talk to anyone at all, something that starts when I check my e-mail and find nothing new in there after I've written someone.

Maybe tomorrow will a better day. Maybe tomorrow will be something worthwhile. Maybe tomorrow I'll feel better, be a better person to be around, and someone who doesn't feel like kicking the world in the ass. But I don't know. My moods can be difficult to figure out. I hate being this way. I haven't really gotten a grasp on why I get moody at times.

Maybe it's that I don't talk to anyone during much of the day. That's my own fault. I could just as easy page someone and have someone to talk to. I just don't do it.

I'm kind of stupid that way. So just ignore me for one day.