June 3, 1999
Before saying anything new, let's backtrack a little bit and see what I might have written had my lazy ass decided to write an entry for the first two days of June, shall we?
June 1, 1999
May went by rather fast, didn't it? Seems to me it was just the start of May and I was still struggling to get things together in many aspects of my life. Then again, it always seems like just yesterday it was a while back. Wait, that really didn't make sense, did it? Hmm. I guess that happens when you write an entry late at night with really no sleep at all the previous night either. You'd think that with me being out of school, I'd at least make an attempt at getting more than five or six hours of sleep a night. But no, I have to stay up, cruising around the internet with really no other intent other than to waste time and progress the night further. I guess I was born to be a night person. That probably explains my dread towards tomorrow. I have to get up at 7 and be at work at 9. On a day besides Saturday if nothing else. I don't like that at all. I hate getting up in the morning and working that shift, even though it means I have the evening off. Screw that, give me the night shift so I can sleep in at least.
I really should go to sleep though. We were so busy today early, then it just completely died on us. Damn holidays. Throws us out of whack every time. Got a call today at 12:45 from work asking if I could come in early since the pharmacy was all jammed up. It wasn't that we were all that busy (though we were), it was that the phone was constantly ringing and Steve kept having to make phone calls himself. It was a busy afternoon, but once we got to 7, things calmed down. Good thing too, since our intern, Keith, left about then. We wound up with about 221 prescriptions that day, so it was a decent day. Felt like we did about 300 though.
By the way, we've had an intern, Keith, for about two weeks now. To tell you the truth, he's really cool and easy to get along with. He also does his job about ten times better than the intern we had last year did hers, so that's a good relief. We may actually be training a good potential pharmacist. He's only with us a couple more weeks, but that's all right. For now, he's fun to work with, which makes all that time I spend up there a little bit easier. He's also into the spirit of things at work, which means he makes fun of Mikey and he makes jokes about other people as well. All in all, he's someone who I wouldn't mind working in the pharmacy with when he's a full-time pharmacist.
June 2, 1999
Just as I suspected, today was brutal. Got to work before everyone else, which meant I had to sit in my car until either Tom, who was working for the first time since his vacation, or Victor showed up. Surprisingly, Tom showed up early, which caught me off guard naturally. Victor and Mikey eventually showed up, and Keith had just arrived after me so everyone was there. I got to ring all morning. It was just a ton of fun. I rang until 1:50pm, when Mike came back from his break so that I could go on mine. I then did absolutely jack shit the rest of the day since it really wasn't in me to do anything else. 5:30 finally came and I was out the door.
The rest of the night proved to be uneventful. I don't believe I've ever been as bored as I was tonight, except when the Indians game came on. It was a great one too. The Indians scored four runs in the first inning, batting around. Then the Yankees batted around in their half of the first, scoring five runs. They added two more in the second inning to take a 7-4 lead which should've been safe for pitcher Andy Pettite. Ha! The Indians in the top of the third batted around and scored five runs with two outs, knocking Pettite out and taking the lead for good at 9-7. They added one more run later in the game to make it 10-7, the final. I was happy. The Indians, who won only one game in New York all last year, took the three game series 2-1 and beat up the Yankees in the process. Sweet revenge on a team that has said some pretty ridiculous things about the Tribe.
First they said that Jaret Wright, the pitcher who coincidentally started for the Indians last night, was a headhunter because he hit batters. Let's stop for a minute and think about that one. They said that because he hit Louis Soho in the wrist last spring training, breaking the wrist. Shouldn't someone who's called a headhunter have hit batters in the head? Maybe it's just me, but that got out of control. Thankfully, not all the media has jumped on Wright because of this. Some, especially former players, have said he's hitting people because he's still learning to pitch inside. Makes sense, doesn't it?
Then the Yankees decide to accuse Manny Ramirez, who's fifth in the American League with 14 home runs, of having a corked bat because he hit a low pitch out of the ballpark towards centerfield. Later that night, Mark McGwire hit a pitch that was similarly located even farther into centerfield in another game, but no one accuses him of corking a bat. The Yankees just need to, excuse the pun, put a cork in it. They're just trying to get into Wright and Manny's heads, and they've succeeded with Jaret but not Manny. It was said best by shortstop Omar Visquel when he said that not even the team's psychologist could get into Manny's head, so why would the Yankees even try.
By the way, in tonight's game, Manny had three more RBI's, increasing his AL lead in that category. Take that New York.
That's only a sample of what I could've written. I should add that I only got three hours of sleep Tuesday night, which was probably why I wasn't saying much at work the next day. Crystal asked me a couple times this week if anything was wrong with me because I just hadn't been saying much at work. Then she goes out today and scares the shit out of me as I came up aisle three. Out of nowhere she jumped out and said "boo!" I don't know what it is, but people like to try that every once in a while with me. Apparently scaring me is the only way anyone can get to me at work. She thought it was funny, I was tempted to make her drink a whole bottle of CVS Window Cleaner for that one.
I've come close to disappearing online completely a couple of times this past week. No one else has been online much the last week or so, and no one at all is signing my guestbook or using my feedback form, which is about to get an update once I decide to stop being lazy. The lack of feedback, the lack of decent e-mail, and the lack of people in general has just made me feel it just isn't worth it sometimes. I especially get frustrated by the lack of feedback though. 1200+ visitors, and only seven signees. It's terrible if you ask me. People read things at this site, then abandon ship and decide that it isn't worth the five minutes it takes to sign the guestbook or fill out my form.
Then I go to check my e-mail and find 11 new messages. About 7 of them were forwarded messages from a person who can't seem to e-mail me anything else at all. In case anyone's forgotten, I don't even bother to open those messages up because I find them to be time-consuming and not worth that very time they take up. I don't care if it's a friendship forward, I don't care for it. If you want to show me that you're a friend, write to me once in a while. Don't take the easy way out by forwarding me a message. I don't want, or care for that.
Maybe I'm taking things to personally. I guess I'm tired of writing all this stuff and not knowing what people think about it. It just really bothers me sometimes when people do that. I know that people are coming, but no one's saying anything to me. I go to other sites and see hundreds of entries in their guestbook and constant references in their site as a whole to those who have written. Only a couple people say anything about my site at all, and those are people who I've been talking to online for a long time. I may be taking this too far, but come on people. Especially those of you who come back regularly to see what's going on.
Maybe if I start putting fancy images on this site, people might start saying things. It's a really tempting thing to do. It seems to me, everyone wants images that are extremely fancy or that do things. They want entertainment half the time, and I guess that sometimes this site doesn't give that to them. I could just easily throw a fancy site together, but tell me, where would that get me? I'd just be taking the easy way out to success and popularity. I hate pages that rely soley on graphics. It bogs the page down and doesn't always look right. Then again, I've always seemed to be behind on things. I want quality, not quantity. I want good content, not just a lot of fancy stuff done with templates.
Then again, I never seem to get what I want.
The practice commencement is tomorrow morning. I have to be at the high school at 9:15am, ride a bus down to Akron, and then do a bunch of shit. Then, at around 12pm, we go back to Brunswick and pray that things go smoothly on Sunday, when we have our actual graduation. No one here really seems to have interest with the commencement itself. They all want to know what's happening afterwards. That bothers me. I want to go through commencement and see how I feel before deciding what I want to do. Sure, I'll be hungry and probably want to get something to eat. Then again, I could be tired and just want to go home. Maybe I'll be invited to something, but I doubt. No one wanted to say anything to me on our last day of school, why would anyone want to include me in plans afterwards?
There I go again with my lack of confidence. That I have to stop doing. I do want to keep myself grounded in reality, but is too hard for me to have a little anticipation or expect at least a little? It seems to me I always expect the worst out of a situation. It has its advantages, such as I'm not surprised by too many things nowadays, but it keeps me in the same class as someone who just doesn't think very highly of anything, which is sometimes true. I'm not always such a poophead though. I just don't expect anything good to happen anymore because the worst always seems to happen. If I had lofty expectations, that might not always seem so bad, but I don't have high expectations. I don't expect to go out and meet a girl, get to know her a bit, and then have something come out of that. That's partially because I've always been someone who gets second and third looks, but nothing more. Jennifer's the closest thing I've had in four years really, and she's going to Texas for the summer. I want to get with her before she leaves, but I'm not so sure that's possible.
Maybe someday I learn to start expecting good things to happen. Maybe someday I'll be more pleasant to talk with, and for that matter, easier to talk with. Maybe I'll become more outgoing. Yeah, right. And Bill Clinton will stop flirting with women. Somethings just won't change.
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