The '90s Woman




1.  Have dinner ready.  Make reservations ahead of time. If your day
    becomes too hectic just leave him a voice mail message regarding
    where you'd like to eat and at what time. This lets him know that
    your day has been crappy and gives him an opportunity to change
    your mood.

2.  Prepare yourself.  A quick stop at the Lancombe counter on your
    way home will do wonders for your outlook and will keep you from
    becoming irritated every time he opens his mouth. (Don't forget
    to use his credit card!)

3.  Clear away the clutter.  Call the housekeeper and tell her that
    any miscellaneous items left on the floor by the children can be
    placed in the Goodwill box in the garage.

4.  Prepare the children.  Send the children to their rooms to watch
    television or play Nintendo. After all, both of them are from his
    previous marriages.

5.  Minimize the noise:  If you happen to be home when he arrives, be
    in the bathroom with the door locked.

6.  Some DON'TS:  Don't greet him with problems and complaints.  Let
    him speak first, and then your complaints will get more attention
    and remain fresh in his mind throughout dinner. Don't complain if
    he's late for dinner, simply remind him that the leftovers are in
    the fridge and you left the dishes for him to do.

7.  Make him comfortable:  Tell him where he can find a blanket if
    he's cold. This will really show you care.

8.  Listen to him:  But don't ever let him get the last word.

9.  Make the evening his:  Never complain if he does not take you out
    to dinner or other places of entertainment; go with a friend or
    go shopping (use his credit card). Familiarize him with the
    phrase "Girls' Night Out!"

10. The Goal:  Try to keep things amicable without reminding him that
    he only thinks the world revolves around him.  Obviously he's
    wrong, it revolves around you.