It Makes You Think




If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it,
do the other trees make fun of it?



Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?



When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss?
It sounds like a near hit to me!



Do fish get cramps after eating?



Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?



Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in
charge of everything outdoors?



If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?



When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?



Why is it, when a door is open it is ajar, but when a jar is open,
it is not adoor?



Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you.
Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.



If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of
progress?



Why does lemon juice contain mostly artificial ingredients but
dish washing liquid contains real lemons?



Why buy a product that takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?



Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?



Why do we wash bath towels?  Aren't we clean when we use them?



Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?



Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?



What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?



Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?



If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys
and apes?



Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?



Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?



Do married people live longer than single people do or does it just
SEEM longer?



I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the
self-help section?"  She said if she told me, it would defeat
the purpose.



If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they
all still working?



Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut?



War doesn't determine who's right, just who's left.