You Know You're An E-mail Junkie When......
               



1.  You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop to
    check your e-mail on the way back to bed.

2.  You get a tattoo that reads "This body best viewed with
    Netscape Navigator 3.0 or higher."

3.  You name your child Dotcom.

4.  You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling,
    like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

5.  You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your
    lap...and your child in the overhead compartment.

6.  You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two,
    just for the free Internet access.

7.  You laugh at people with 14000-baud modems.

8.  You start using smileys in your snail mail.  : )

9.  Your hard drive crashes.  You haven't logged in for two hours.
    You start to twitch.  You pick up the phone and manually dial
    your ISP's access number.  You try to hum to communicate with
    the modem...and you succeed.

10. You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a
    word processor.com

11. You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.

12. You start introducing yourself as
    "pathompson at hotmail dot com."

13. All of your friends have an @ in their names.

14. Your cat has its own home page.

15. You can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem.

16. You check your mail. It says "no new messages."  So you check
    it again.

17. Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.

18. You don't know what sex three of your closest friends are,
    because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to
    ask.

19. You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you
    landscape.

20. You tell the cab driver you live at
    "http://www.oocities.org/SouthBeach/Castle/5352"

21. You start tilting your head sideways to smile.