BE ON THE LOOK OUT FOR THE FOLLOWING VIRUSES:




CLINTON VIRUS:
    Gives you a 7 Inch Hard Drive with NO memory.

VIAGRA VIRUS:
    Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.

LEWINSKY VIRUS:
    Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone
    about what it did.

RONALD REAGAN VIRUS:
    Saves your data, but forgets where  it is stored.

MIKE TYSON VIRUS:
    Quits after two bytes.

OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS:
    Your 300 MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100 MB, then slowly
    expands to 200 MB.

DR. JACK KEVORKIAN VIRUS:
    Deletes all old files.

ELLEN DEGENERES VIRUS:
    Disks can no longer be inserted.

TITANIC VIRUS (A strain of the Lewinsky Virus):
    Your whole computer goes down (but I think "we go on").

DISNEY VIRUS:
    Everything in your computer goes Goofy.

PROZAC VIRUS:
    Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care.

JOEY BUTTAFUOCO VIRUS:
    Only attacks minor files.

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS:
    Terminates some files, leaves, but IT WILL BE BAAAAACK.

LORENA BOBBIT VIRUS:
    Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy, then discards
    it through Windows.