TOP TEN SIGNS SANTA DOESN'T LIKE YOUR KID  




10. Kid's letter to North Pole comes back stamped, "Dream on,
    Chester!" 

9. Kid asks for new bike, gets pack of smokes. 

8. Along with presents, Santa leaves hefty bill for shipping
   and handling. 

7. By the time he gets to your house, all he has left are
   styrofoam peanuts. 

6. Christmas day, your kid wakes up with a reindeer head in
   his bed. 

5. Instead of "naughty" or "nice," Santa has him on the
   "dork" list. 

4. Sends him off on one of them Carnival cruises with Kathie Lee. 

3. First words when kid gets on his lap are, "Touch my beard and
   I'll put the hurt on you!" 

2. Labels on all your kid's toys read "Straight from Craptown". 

1. Four words: "Off my lap, Tubby!"