7/21/98...I give up!Trying to get off the prescriptions is depressing the hell out of me.I declare this experiment over and done with.Life in this place should not be this hellish.If I am out of my mind but less tortured,so be it.Deal with it.

7/15/98...Still here,have given up all the prescriptions and while I seem to be in a more normal state of mind,my normal state does not contain much in the way of energy.Not an awful lot of motivation and thus alot of time between updates. The hottest summer in 400 years and where am I?ARIZONA! I narrowly missed my chance to return to the Oregon coast;they called,ready to go,AFTER I had paid rent and I couldn't afford to go.Curses! Since the old brain doesn't function when the ambient temperature exceeds 80 degrees,I can think of nothing to add. Oh,yeah...Stefeni entered the world July 2nd,looks like her sister and all is well. Stay cool.

6/22/98...LAlalalala...lalala...Still here and sweating in Arizona.No news on the expectant mother and don't know when I'll get a chance at moving,RuthAnn sees mid-August as likely.I told Sheri I'm in.Don't know what the heck I'll do when I get there but,like she says,the main thing is to get our butts back to Oregon.For those that cruise in here with expectations,try kava and St.John's wort.They work as well as prescription drugs.Check Yahoo's links under the subject to learn more.I was finally asked to explain Anhedonia.Ann-heh-doh-nya:state of being devoid of pleasurable feelings...i.e.;depression.Isn't that Geocities bug that they've inserted down there in the corner annoying?

6/15/98...You plug along for a year with nothing happening and then all hell breaks loose:I'm due to be a grandpa for the second time any minute now,on pins and needles waiting to hear,and last night Sheri called from Missouri.Seems that she and Sharen have had it with the heat and humidity and bugs and are on the verge of going back to the Oregon coast and I'm invited to hitch a ride with them.If they go through with it I think I'll go.Thinking about being back in Oregon had me awake until 3 am last night.I woke up with one of those chronic fatigue episodes that feel like you've been down with flu.I hope I hope I hope they do it.They could see Prescott,and possibly decide to try it here for a time,but I think we're all hurtin' for the ocean and a cool summer. RuthAnn,these may be the two women you had told me about.They have to be.Wish,hope,wish,hope!

6/10/98...Finally swept the guano out of my bat-cave Sunday,haven't moved since. Need to go shopping...bummer. Are you into Mp3's?I ran across a great place to get 'em:check out Scour.Net @ www.scour.net.You will no doubt need to download their free utility for Windows file sharing,but they've got a huge database and you'll more than likely find what you're after.Images and video,too.Follow the directions to the letter to get the utility,I had to do it twice 'cause I tried to shortcut.

6/5/98...There's no accounting for taste,which reminds me...what is motivating these women who show all with their webcams;what sort of legacy are they establishing?What does it mean?15 minutes of fame?A way to express a need for approval?Or just plain old get-down-and-dirty exhibitionism?Yeah,I look once in awhile but it seems like there's too many of them to be interesting anymore and it's turned into a big electronic orgy.Am I just being an old fuddy-duddy? BTW,there's finally some comments appearing in the guestbooks for this and my "Doom and Gloom" site.I seem to register with the fringe crowd,which is as it should be.Also BTW,I see we've got 11 mb of space here at the ranch now;I'm not worrying about running out of space...if they could only get things to run consistently quick,if I had to wait for this thing to load sometimes I don't think I'd hang around. Past couple of days have been using BOTH Kava and St.John's Wort,more experimenting,and there seems to be some improvement.If you have developed environmental sensitivities or are otherwise allergic,don't be surprised if you react to herbal remedies.It's a whole universe of potential allergens out there.Would SOMEONE PLEASE come by and vacuum this joint?

6/4/98...Let's see if I can still do this...was getting pretty darn psycho after an extraordinarily long down spell and decided I needed to cut back on some meds,the result being that I only got depressed as hell and have hardly moved lately.So am easing back into the drug regimen,trying not to cross that fine line. Since about 1968 I have relied on a VERY small dose of nortriptyline to remain functional and a little too much pushes things into agitation and schizo-land.It's a really difficult thing to manage.Believe it or don't,we're talking enough of the stuff to cover this "O" once every four days.Everyone says this is impossible,but that's how it is.Evidently something was affected permanently by using 60mg daily for an extended period way back when. So what's new with you?

5/22/98...Hewwo,be vewwy,vewwy quiet!Been down and out with the CFS for an especially long time and haven't had the energy or desire to do much of anything;getting more than enough bad news on the tube,which doesn't help much.There is really nothing else of consequence to report.Disarm America!You're only killing yourselves.Later.

5/12/98...Okay,this thing has become an unbearably slow-loader,evidently due to the little picture-links(yes,they're clickable)I've stashed at the bottom.I suppose I need to move them onto a dedicated links page;I really get impatient with slow-loading websites,and now I are one. I think once the air has worked it's way out of the water heater it will behave itself,it's gone 24 hours without tripping the reset.They painted my front door the other day,it had been repaired and was a different color than my neighbors.The paint smell is making me woozy.I hope it stops out-gassing soon. Speaking of neighbors;I had mentioned to my daughter that I miss mariachi music,having grown up with it in Indio,CA.Well the Mexican Mafia has moved into the end unit,about eight or ten people in a two-bedroom apartment,and I get PLENTY of mariachi music now.Be careful what you get sentimental about... Explorer is back on my drive for the fifth or sixth time,I can't have Outlook Express without it so I gave in.Cross your fingers.

5/11/98...Got tired of that old logo,looked like a damn headstone.So I swiped this Ren and Stimpy gif and embellished it a little.My system crashed(mildly)again last night and I have deleted Explorer out of frustration.The error messages always blame Explorer,so out with ya.RuthAnn is up and running again as well,a good thing.I don't know why no one seems to care if their midis are crashing people's browsers,of course it's not their fault but... Nothing much new here otherwise,weather is great,I got my prescriptions,only thing wrong is my water heater kicks the reset every so often(since they worked on the plumbing next door)and acts like it's got air in it,and part of my three-way bulb is out.

5/4/98...I think I'm up WAY too late tonight.No one has killed me yet for causing any horrific crashes...could it be that I'm too paranoid?Ha ha ha ha,HAA HA ha hah!Check out my new paranoid rant page while your at it.HAA ha ha hah!You have to go looking cause I'm too tired to put in a link...HA ha ha ha .Anyhow,I forgot why I fired up the editor,must've been some reason.Maybe not.Well,RuthAnn,I hope I haven't ruined your system and that I'll hear from you again. Internet Explorer is inherently unstable and can make your life miserable,and I'll quit saying this Mr.Gates,if you give me $250,000.Cheap at half the price! Uh,oh...sirens coming this way. WAY too late!

5/2/98...APPARENTLY,my crash was due to my use of the "EMBED" tag on my midis.There is a problem in MS Internet Explorer that can result in catastrophic crashes when encountering the common "EMBED" tag.I'm REALLY sorry if this has happened to you. I have deleted my midis and am dodging bullets. There is a patch for this predicament at DOWNLOAD.COM under Internet Explorer.Hope it doesn't come too late.Be Browser -Friendly,All Hail Netscape!

5/2/98...It's SO dark and gloomy...in quiet moments I want so much to be going back to Gold Beach.There is nothing at all wrong with Prescott but nothing but disaster has befallen me since I came here.In Gold Beach I had a few friends and did not feel so much an alien.No one here has any reason to feel as I feel,it's an extraordinarily SAFE community.No strife or difficulty. People in the northern coastal town have the weather,the storms,the sense of living on the edge of the world,in common.Experience was intense and shared.Of course one decent tsunami will wipe out the whole place and how much rust and mildew can one person take? What to do,what to do? Perhaps it's the calm before the storm,RuthAnn sees little change of scenery for the next three months,at least.

5/1/98...Howdy Friends and Neighbors,my system is suffering an infestation of gremlins and if the problem continues I may be incommunicado for awhile longer.Am currently in my third rescue operation,thought I had it licked for sure last time,but last night the same error message locked everything up again.Can't get past the desktop and have become too familiar with reloading windows(curse you,B.G.)and reconfiguring.Anyone know what causes fatal exception #0137:BFF9A3C0?Much more of this will cause me to wimp out and call tech support,which I HATE doing. No other news of note,All you Mothers out there be sure and have a great Mother's Day if I don't see you 'til after.