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Real Fart Diet Page

This is the page where all the best hints and tips for producing better farts are kept. It will include such things as the relevant foods, the effect the food will have and how much to eat. If you have any tips or diets which you think should be here, mail me them!

Diet of the Month

This months diet is one of dried fruit, yes it's that old favourite the dried Apricot. These should be of the ready to eat variety (i.e. pre-soaked). The number of fruit that should be eaten varies from person to person, but I recommend that you start off with at least 7 fruits, working your way up, but don't eat TOO many as it's not just Gas that you'll pass from your Ass! After eating the fruit, the amount of time needed to hear any result again varies from person to person, but in my experience it usually takes about 30 mins to 1 hour. The results that may be expected are given below.

  1. Gas creation potential : 9/10
  2. Stench potential : 9/10
  3. Duration : Depends on individual, but at least 2 hours
  4. Comments : Tends to produce wetter sounding farts as it speeds up your bladder process...




After you've tried our Diet of the Month, and hopefully are enjoying the results, either alone in the comfort of your own home, or with your friends sharing the fruit of your labours, you may need some advice to get the most out of your farts. Below is a simple guide to maximising your fart potential.

  1. Volume : For increased volume, the first tip is the force of expulsion. The harder you force a fart out, the louder it will sound. The second tip is to clench your buttocks together just before farting, the tighter you clench the louder the fart will be. Another consideration is position. As the effectiveness of this can vary from person to person, it's hard to give advice, but generally your butt cheeks should be as close together as possible for true volume effect!
  2. Smell : For the true appreciation of smell, farting into a soft object such as a pillow will allow for more smell enjoyment. Alternatively, if you are sharing your stench with another, then I don't think you can beat the ass-on-face fart, which can provide the fart receiver a more true appreciation of the fart

    Mail me your fart Diets/Advice
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