For so long I've believed
That I had one chance
And that I'd wrecked it
I believed that
I wasn't worthy or deserving
Of someone so wonderful
Ever again
But this morning
The sun rose and reminded me
That it's a new day
And a new chance
To see everything differently
And let myself try again
No matter what the cost
**************************
You've stolen my sparkle
I sit here unable to move
Engulfed in a loneliness
Wondering what I could have done differently
How could you leave me this way
Now I feel as if I matter to no one
No one to call, to comfort me
And tell me I'll make it through this
I feel so empty inside
Wanting this feeling to go away
And a sense of life to return
So I can function throughtout a day
Without thinking of you.
********************************
How can you say this isn't what you want
And then be so insensitive
You say that you care about me
And then you hurt and embarrass me
What did I do to deserve this?
You say you want to be my friend
And then you avoid and ignore me
How am I supposed to feel?
You say you don't want to lose me
But this is the surest way to do it
That's not what I want
Yet how do I stop it
When you fill me with such pain and anger?
No one cares what I want or how I feel
I'm still somehow the bad guy
And I don't even know what I did wrong
I feel like the victim in a ridiculous game
I just want to curl up and forget it all
But I don't know how to do that
And there's no one to help me
Because my best friend has left me
************************************
I'm so tired of this
Everyone I meet
Looks at me and never sees me
And the moment a little truth comes out
They turn and leave
Finding someone else, they stay with
Why is it just me they leave?
Why can't I find someone,
Who'll just love me
Even when I'm not perfect?
If someone would just give me a chance
Maybe they'd see something more
Even if it didn't work out
At least I'd have my opportunity
So I could stop wondering
Why I'm always wrong
Just once I want the person I love
To love me back and mean it
****************************
It's like I've travelled back in time
There you are again
Just like old times
The same smile, the same playfulness
That unbelievable sparkle
I think about everyday
I look at you and see all my hope
Bottled into one person
I never thought this would happen again
And I know the moment can't last
But my heart fills with joy
And I can't look away
I just want to cry
Because all too soon you'll be gone again
Yet for now I'm just going to smile
And enjoy you while I can
Even if it's just for a moment.
********************************
I can't believe it's true
There you are standing before me
The one person I've always loved
I never thought I'd see you again
And it's so hard
Because I know in my heart
That as much as I adore you
We don't belong together
But I see something in you
I've never seen in anyone else
And it helps to keep me strong
When the loneliness comes at night
I remind myself that there is someone out there
Who will make me as happy as you once did
I just have to find him
And give him the chance
I can't be scared to try
Because I'll never find love
If I keep my eyes closed
And my heart frozen
******************
The lights dim, and the music begins
You pull me close
And as we dance
Everything else disappears
It's just you and I here together
Holding one another
And moving to our own rhythm
I close my eyes
And we're in our own place
Under the starlight
Where the song can never end
I look in your eyes and see the future
And as you kiss me
I feel so overwhelmed by it all
How could I ever lose you?
This is all so perfect
But I know it's just a dream
Of a time that almost was
And I hope can be again
Somewhere, someplace, somehow.
******************************
After all this time
I can't believe you still mean so much to me
There's something about you
I love so much
Something I'm continually in search of
You bring such a sense of fun
A sense of adventure to my life
Somehow with just a smile
You give me hope
I know you're leaving
And with you goes a piece of me
That I'll always miss
It's like you hold a key
To a doorway, where lies a magic
I can only dream of
But I know you've taught me
That there is someone out there
Who'll give me what you have and more
And because of you, I'll never settle for less
Sometimes I hate you for that
But I know it's worth it
**************************************
There you are my star
Lighting up my world
You give off such a sparkle
Each and everyday
I wish I could keep it with me always
But I know each star has its moment
Where its brightness is overwhelming
But also a time when it must fade
I must let go
And allow a new star to come upon me
But I know no matter how beautiful
The next star might be
I will always carry with me
Some of the magic that you have given me
Shine on, my star
And you will find the one you were meant to grace
Even though it isn't me
*************************
Why is it so hard to say goodbye?
What is it that I've lost?
The idea, the moment of love,
Of happiness?
Of that intangible, that will now
And forever be gone?
A piece of me has gone with you
A part of me has died
And I fear that I'll never get it back
I never really thought you'd leave...
**************************************
What is love?
Did I love you?
Is love not only a part of us
That is jealous for something in another?
Seeing something that we lack
And holding on too long?
*************************
I miss you so much
It's an ache deep inside
That I cannot understand
How will it heal?
I must go on without you
But it seems pointless
Because you were the dream
You were my hope
And I've learned
Dreams don't always come true
So who do I dream of now?
What will give me hope?
Is memory enough?
It's so hard to forever be alone
I almost wish I could hate you
It would be easier
But what is easy
Isn't always what is right.
****************************
When my mind wanders
It seems to return to one place
Back to you
Sometimes I think I'd give anything
To have that moment again
Standing before you
One last look
One last time being held by you
One more chance to tell you
All of the things I've never dared to say
And I wonder if I'll ever see you again
What would you have said
If I'd told you I love you?
Would you have stayed?
Or would you still turn away,
And leave me here all alone?
I miss you so much
And I don't know
If anyone can ever again
Make me feel the way you did
So effortlessly..
******************
With you there was sunshine
There was light and laughter
I never wanted to say goodbye
And I find it so incredible
That the ease we had together
I can't seem to find with anyone else
And that's what makes it so hard
To let go
I want my life to be happy again
To look forward to each day
Knowing so many good things are in store
That the sun will shine again
And that there'll be someone
To make me smile
And give me life
Because of you I have hope
That someone is out there
I just have to pick myself up
And look.
****************
Right now I'm wondering
If the reason I feel so alone
Is that I've lost myself
I can remember enjoying
So much in my life
And now I needlessly allow
People and circumstance
To bring me down
I want to return to myself
I miss that feeling of
Confidence and carelessness
I used to have
I think somewhere inside
Those still exist
I just need to remember
Where to find them
So I can unlock that door
***************************
How often in life do we know
How special a moment is
As it's occurring?
Usually we only realize it
After it's too late
But that one moment, that one night
Was something, I had only dreamed about
I never suspected for even a moment
That you felt for me
Even a fraction of what I feel for you
I'm so lucky to have known
What I was experiencing at the time
Instead of afterwards,
Regretting that I didn't understand
Because now I can hold that forever
In the secret place you have in my heart.
******************************************
How do you walk away
When you know how much I love you?
How can you turn from me
Without even giving us a chance?
I would I could understand
Although sometimes it seems
I know too well
It seems we're so perfect
For one another
But then I wonder,
Is it enough?
Maybe we have too much in common
Or maybe you're afraid of getting hurt
But isn't it worth finding out
Instead of losing everything we have?
**************************************
Like a shadow you creep
Into my thoughts
You once loved me
And when I realized that I love you
It was a moment too late
Now you're with someone else
And I'm on my own
And I wonder,
Can I ever forgive you for
Getting over me?
That's the most difficult thing
Knowing that yesterday
You could have been mine
But would it have been right
Or am I only rationalizing it in my head?
Remembering something that wasn't
And suffering unnecessarily
I hope tomorrow when I wake up
I can be happy for you
And get on with being me.
***************************
I remember you
said the flower to the bee
One spring you came
and brought me such joy
Your happy buzz
filled my days
For all too short a time
I never really knew
who you were
or why you were here
It hurt so much when you left
That my tears flooded the valley
Seeming to drown out all life
But now those tears have dried
And a new life has begun
From that pain, a seed was planted
of life and hope
That will grow beautiful with time
Reminding me of what once was.
******************************
When I'm feeling cold and lonely
And I just can't seem to stop the tears
I wonder how I got to here
Thinking on all the mistakes I've made
Trying to think of a way
To make it all work out
I close my eyes
And remind myself how lucky I am
As long as I remember to breathe
What is bad today, will be better tomorrow
And though life will never be perfect
I'd rather go through the bad days
Than not get to see the good ones
***********************************
Millions of stars in the sky
That all seem so bright and beautiful
And so far away
It's impossible to examine
Ever one of them
Looking for the one that is right
But I believe
That the one star I am meant to find
Will be as bright as the sun
Overshadowing the rest
So there'll be no mistake
That it's for me.
********************
Round and round we go
Trying to make it all work out
Again and again, we argue
Hurting each other more and more
I'm so afraid when this over
You'll never speak to me again
And I don't know what is wrong with me
That I just can't make it be all right
I never want to lose you
But I seem to push everyone away
Without even realizing I'm doing it
Or knowing the reason why
I'm sorry if I hurt you
But I don't know how else to be
Maybe someday, I can just be me.
*********************************
Two penguins wandering in the cold
Wondering where all the warmth has gone
By chance find an igloo on the coast
Where the sun still thrives
The snow glistens like so many diamonds
Overwhelming their hearts with a magic
Formerly unimagined
And as they glide along the ice
A new day begins
***********************
Back and forth I go
Wanting to be with you
Yet wanting to be alone
I know my indecision hurts you
And that's the last thing I want to do
So I run from you
To save you the hurt
I'll certainly cause
It's hard to know what I want
When for so long
I've pushed everyone away
Maybe you can help me
And make me face myself
See what I am blind to
And help me open up
*********************
Walking down your street
Remembering all the things that used to be
How did it get so out of hand
How did it all get so crazy
It seems like just yesterday
Everything was fine
Now I can't wait to blow this town
Just head down the road
A few hundred miles
And see where I end up
I know I can't outrun my demons
But if I could just leave
Maybe the damned ghosts
Would let me alone for awhile
I know you can't save me
I can't even save myself
But if I fall any further
I may never get back up
And I refuse to drown in this damned town
It's like a nightmare
I never ever wake from
If I could just forget the chains
That hold me down
Maybe I could finally make it
******************************
Do you remember sitting
Reminiscing
Drinking vodka
In the smoky haze
Laughing
Playing into the night
Reaching for you
The heat that didn't hurt
Not like when you didn't call
No explanation at all
It left me with a scar
Like a sunburn
Like our love
I never thought it'd fade
At that party
The alcohol flowed
Kissing in the doorway
Time stood still
You saw only me
Then you were gone
Sunburn
Let me rub you down
I'll take you
And kiss it all away
Turn around
I was there just a moment ago
Waiting for you
You smiled at me
I'll never forget
Don't you remember?
*********************
Sitting here alone in my room
I wonder what you're doing out there
Are you happy, are you lonely
Do you ever think about me
Every night I see you in my dreams
Smiling at me sweetly
Loving me as much as I love you
But only in my dreams
When will you come back to me
When will you come home
Cause I miss you so much
And I don't know if I can go on
Looking through the pictures
Remembering how it used to be
Wanting you here so badly
I almost forget to breathe
Even though you're miles away
Sometimes you feel so close
I reach out to hold you
But you're never really there
******************************
I'm standing at the counter
Watching you do your thing
I wonder if you even seem me
Then you turn and smile
The sun is shining brightly
As we race down the miles
You turn and take my hand
And tell me you want to spend each day with me
How could this ever end
How could you have let me go
Each moment without you
Feels like a moment too long
Looking in your eyes
Remembering your touch
I wonder how two people
Get along in this world alone
Now you're leaving
And I have to say goodbye
I want you to stay here with me
Instead I watch you go into the night
**************************************
Another night alone
I can't believe you're not here
Why don't you understand
How much I need you
Maybe I expect too much
I shouldn't depend on you like I do
But sometimes you seem like
Everything I could ever want
Then you go and hurt me again
I know you can't read my mind
I guess I just expect that by now
You'd know me better
Sometimes you see right through me
Into my deepest thoughts
But what should be clear to you
Somehow remains a mystery
So what do I do now
Do I give you another chance
Or should I just let it go
But I'm just so afraid
That you'll hurt me again
And I just don't think I can take it
How can you say you love me
And not know me better by now
******************************
Outta my sight
Outta my mind
Outta my life
I said goodbye
When we were together
Everyday I smiled
And when you walked away
I tried so hard not to cry
You came into my life
Like a dream, I didn't know I had
You made me laugh and love
But you only stayed for awhile
A moment so perfect
For me, frozen in time
I'll never be able to forget
Looking into your eyes
In my heart, I know
This isn't over
No matter how far away you are
I will see you again
*********************
How do you do that
Make everything go away
Take all my hurt and anger
And make it seem like nothing at all
On my darkest day
You can walk into the room
And in an instant
Make it all okay
Now I can't sleep at night
And the tears never seem to end
Because you're gone
And I know you won't be back again
Remember that night we kissed
When the world stopped for us
Was it all in my head
Or did you feel it too
I know I love you
And for me that will never change
Wherever you go, whatever you do
Part of me will always be with you
***********************************
I keep making promises
That even to myself I can't keep
When will I get it right
I's so tired of fucking everything up
Over and over again
I don't want to live life this way
Yet I can't seem to change
Is it true that we can't
Escape the sins of our parents
Am I doomed to follow
The same path they have
Just once I'd like to get it right
Instead I go in circles
It makes me sick
I get so dizzy
When will it ever stop
Every night I pray for something better
Only to go out and do something stupid again
I know what I need to do
And where I need to go
But I feel glued to this spot
It's like I don't have the energy to move
I just don't see the point
But I know I have to make it better
Cause no one else will do it for me
******************************
I woke up this morning and you weren't there
Everywhere I went, I looked for you
But you were nowhere to be found
It's been six months now
Yet I still expect to see you wherever I go
But you're still not there
I hate to runaway
But I have to get out of here
I need to go somewhere
Where I won't see you around every corner
Too many memories
The past always sneaking up on me
And I can't move on
I know I love you, but you're gone
And I'm glad for you
Even if I never get to see you again
At least you finally got out
Now I'm thinking it's time
For me to go too.
***********************
If you asked me to
I'd leave everything behind
I'd go tonight
And walk a thousand miles
Just to be with you again
If you asked me to
I'd never look back
I wouldn't miss a thing I have now
I'd just walk away
If I could see you again
If you asked me to
I'd take your hand and never let go
I'd go wherever you want
Without a second thought
Just to hold you again
If you asked me to
I'd dance with you all night
You'd be my star
And I'd never look at another
If you loved me again
**********************
You're walking towards me
With that smile that makes me cringe
You think I love you
You think you own me
How could you be so blind
You make me sick
Your ego is so big
It's a wonder you don't trip over it
I can't believe you actually thought
I'd want to be with you
What could you possibly offer me
Sex is meaningless
I need something more
But you'll never be able to see past yourself
To realize others have needs too
How did you end up this way?
I never thought you'd lie, cheat, or steal
Yet you prove me wrong over and over again
And you expect me to trust you
I wish you'd just go away
I've had enough bullshit in my life
And I know I definately don't need this
****************************************
Lying in bed with you
The hours would fly by
We were so in love
I couldn't see anyone but you
We'd make love til dawn
Nothing else mattered
When you touched me
Everything else disappeared
I knew it couldn't last forever
But I was so happy, I didn't care
Every moment is burnt into my memory
Impossible to forget
I felt like a child again
Playing into the night
Not caring what anyone thought
As long as I was with you
You made me want you like no other
When you smiled at me
When you kissed me
It was like nothing I could describe
Now you're gone
And I don't know how anyone else
Could make me feel so complete
So happy like you used to do
**************************
Would you come play with me
Just for tonight
Take my hand
And we'll runaway
We'll dance under the stars
And fly throught the clouds
Drink a bottle of wine
And laugh the time away
We'll swim the ocean
Build a fire after
Roast giant marshmallows
And tell silly stories
Take my hand
And I'll love you forever
We won't listen to what the world has to say
We'll light our own path
We'll paint our own pictures
And hang them above the bed
Making love til the sun comes up
Sleeping the day away
Follow me and I'll never leave you
I'll hold you in the dark
And kiss your troubles away
If you'll take my hand tonight
*******************************
Something tells me this isn't over
Someday I will wake up
And you'll be there
Wanting me, loving me
Everyone else is so fake
So fucking insecure
Pretending to be what I want
Too afraid to be real
You're not like that
You're the sun in the east
The stars that twinkle in the night
You'd never lie to me
How could you be the one
And yet be so far away
I saw you look at me
Just a moment ago
The candles light your face
I can't lose you again
I know you feel it too
Just give it another chance
****************************
I wish I could write you a song
To tell you how I feel
But the word just won't flow
No matter how hard I try
There's so much beauty out there
I just can't express it
It fills my soul
And with you I want to share it
If I could just describe what's in my heart
Maybe you'd understand
But I don't have the power
To convey all of this to you
I feel so empty, so helpless
Not being able to explain to you
What I know to be true
Look in my eyes and you'll see it too
**************************************
I'll chase you
Always let you win
Knock you down
Get back up again
How you torment me
Lying in the pool
Smoking a cigarette
Drunk on wine
From a night
When everything was good
Feeling the traces
Of all that is gone
Did I imagine that smile
At the bar
You waited for me
I feel foolish
Knowing tomorrow you'll be gone
But wanting you tonight
I wish I could read your mind
So I would know
If you want me too
I'm so afraid
What will happen when you're gone
I'm so alone
You're my solace, my torment
For you, I'd abandon it all
And go west forever
********************
Another one come and gone
In all but a blink of an eye
No reason
Just the night alone
So uninteresting
So easy to let go
A face in the crowd
With no meaning at all
I'll see you again
But don't worry
I won't care
I'll look the other way
What's the point?
Get to know me?
Give me a chance?
You're too good for that
I'll move on
I can do better
You won't even recognize
What I'll become
*************************
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