Quotes

Or Things People Much Smarter Than Me Said

• Man's lonlieness is but his fear of life.-Eugen O'Neill
  
  
• Policemen...its always the same, isn't it? They're never around when you need one, but the second you stab someone in the throat...-Bill Maher
  
  
• You know something, there's nothing wrong with a culture where everybody has a different idea of what's humorous. The last time I can remember and entire nation being on the same page, it was Germany in the late thirties and it didn't really turn out that funny.-Dennis Miller
  
  
• Tour with Matchbox 2o? I'd rather eat my own feces-Christopher Hall
  
  
• If lobsters looked like puppies, people could never drop them in boiling water while they're still alive. But instead, they look like science fiction monsters, so its okay. Restaraunts that allow patrons to select live lobsters from a tank should be made to paint names on their shells: "Happy," "Baby Doll," "Junior." I defy anyone to drop a living thing called "Happy" in rapidly boiling water.-George Carlin
  
  
• Plan for what is difficult while it is still easy, do what is great while it is small. The most difficult things must be done when they are still easy, the greatest things in the world must be done when they are still small. For this reason sages never do what is great and this is how they achieve their greatness.-Sun Tzu
  
  
• Live two ways, Long and Strong.Not with that drug posion or any of that bullshit.-Henry Rollins
  
  
• Hate isn't the opposite of love. The opposite of love is apathy-Leo Bascalia
  
  
• Laughing at someone else is an excellent way of learning to laugh at oneself;and questioning what seem to be absurd beliefs of another group is a good way of recognizing the potential obsurdity of many of one's cherished beliefs.-Gore Vidal
  
  
• Its not that I am afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.-Woody Allen
  
  
• Tragedy is when I cut my finger, comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.-Mel Brooks
  
  
• Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans.-John Lennon
  
  
• A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.-Woody Allen
  
  
• I believe entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you set out to make art you're an idiot.-Steve Martin
  
  
• You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are not the car you drive. You are not your job. You are not the clothes you wear. You are not your fucking kakhis.-Tyler Durden, Fight Club

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