2. A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase.
3. Bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
4. You can open all your own jars.
5. Old friends don't give you grief if you've lost or gained weight.
6. When clicking thru the channels you don't have to stop on every shot of someone crying.
7. You can go to the bathroom alone.
8. Your last name stays put.
9. You can leave a hotel room bed unmade.
10. The garage is all yours.
11. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
12. You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.
13. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
14. If someone forgets to invite you to something, they can still be your friend.
15. Your underwear costs $7.50 for a pack of 3.
16. None of your coworkers have the power to make you cry.
17. You don't have to shave below your neck.
18. Flowers or duct tape fixes everything.
19. Three pair of shoes are more than enough.
20. You don't care if someone doesn't notice your new haircut.
21. You can watch a game in silence for hours without your buddy thinking, "He must be mad at me".
22. One mood, all the time.
23. Same work . . . . . . . more pay!
24. Gray hair and wrinkles add character.
25. Wedding dress $2,000, Tux rental $100 bucks.
26. You don't care if someone is talking behind your back.
27. If you retain water, it is in a canteen.
28. If another guy show up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies.
29. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
30. You don't have to curl up next to some big, hairy guy every night.
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