4. THE MEN IN BLACK (or, The Boys From Garnet)

The term "Men in Black" was first coined by UFO-logist Albert K. Bender who claimed he shut down his UFO investigation organization (the International Flying Saucer Bureau) in 1953 after he was threated by three mysterious visitors who dressed in black suits and wore black fedora hats and sunglasses. Since that time the term "Men in Black" (or MiB for short) has been used as a catch-phrase to describe any "agent" of any conspiracy you care to name. On The X-Files the term MiB has been used to describe those covert-ops goons who cover up for the Majestic Project and do the Cigarette Smoking Man's dirty work. The most MiB-like of these goons (who the Lone Gunmen claim work for an international black-ops unit called GARNET) were the "National Security" heavies who roughed up Mulder and Scully near Ellens Air Force Base in the episode DEEP THROAT. They had the black suits, sunglasses and nasty dispositions.Some, like them team that searched the Thinker's apartment in ANASAZI, the men who chased Mulder off the salvage ship Talapus and Mulder and Scully out of the missle silo in APOCRYPHA had a very SWAT-like appearence. Others, like the "Intelligence Community" thugs who threatened Skinner in PIPER MARU and the agents who ran Mulder and the alien-possessed Krychek off the road in APOCRYPHA, have sported that "spook" assassin look. Most have been little more than dark shapes with guns, A few others we've gotten to know fairly well.

PAUL MOSSINGER:

Probably not his real name, although it is the name on his Air Base Security badge. Mossinger was the local reporter in DEEP THROAT who later turns out to be a security officer from Ellens Air Force Base. He certainly takes the cake for the most menacing transformation: From kindly, harmless reporter to steely nerved spy. He hardly flinched when Scully shoved a gun in his face. He also wins the award for best self-righteous indignation: "Everything you've seen here is equal to the protection we give it. It's you who've acted inappropriately." He delivers the line with such conviction you could almost believe he might be right.

THE CREWCUT MAN:

Much reviled as the man who killed Deep Throat. The Crewcut Man appeared in THE ERLENMEYER FLASK as the head of the "Clean-up" operation assigned to collect or destroy evidence and eliminate the witnesses of Human-Alien DNA experiments being performed by a group whose project password is "Purity Control." Because the cryo-frozen alien fetus was passed from Deep Throat to the Crewcut Man to the Cigarette Smoking Man, I believe that the Crewcut Man works for CSM. That would make the Crewcut Man one of GARNET's "School of the America's alumni . . . trained killer" foot-soldiers.

The Crewcut Man was the most de-humanized appearing of the GARNET agents we've encountered. He demeanor was cold, detatched and, in some ways, awkward. It was as if he could not relate to people as anything other than potential targets. He didn't appear particularly intelligent, but was extremely lethal and possessed a certain animal cunning. While a sociopathic personality is a career requirement for a professional assassin,the Crewcut Man seemed to also be a sadistic bully. In THE ERLENMEYER FLASK the Crewcut Man terrifies Dr. Berube before killing him and taunts Mulder as he lies helpless from the effects of exposure to toxic alien-hybrid blood. And in RED MUSEUM there's that evil, amused smirk on his face as he's about to ignite the gasoline soaked meat-packing plant and incinerate Agent Mulder. The Crewcut Man, a lethal profesional, is ignominiously killed by a the grieving father of one of his victims; an amateur. He died too quickly to be embarrassed, and his death delivered no satisfaction for avenging the death of Deep Throat.

LOUIS CARDINAL (A.K.A. THE HISPANIC MAN):

We first saw Louis Cardinal in THE BLESSING WAY where he, as Alex Krychek's partner, assisted in the botched assassination attempt against Dana Scully which resulted in the death of Melissa Scully. It's hard to tell which man, Cardinal or Krychek, pulled the trigger on Melissa. On slow-motion advance, the shooter (momentarily illuminated by the guns muzzel-flash) appears to by Krychek, but Cardinal drops the gun at the scene.

Cardinal, Krychek, and an un-named partner return in PAPERCLIP to ambush Skinner and steal the MJ Document data tape. Cardinal and the un-named covert-ops thug later try to kill Krychek and destroy the data tape with a car-bomb, but fail.

Cardinal returns again in PIPER MARU to gut-shoot Skinner after Skinner refuses to back-off the investigation of who killed Melissa Scully. If Cardinal had wanted Skinner dead, it would have been simple to finish him off following the first shot. Since Cardinal didn't finish Skinner off, I believe his orders were to wound Skinner, thus delivering a severe warning to Skinner that anyone can be gotten to; everyone is vulnerable. The Cigarette Smoking Man denies his involvement in the shooting to his fellow members of the board of the Majestic Project, but I see no evidence to suggest his denials are anything but lies. After all, Cardinal was at CSM's side during CSM's confrontation with the alien-possessed Alex Krychek, so we know CSM gives Cardinal his marching orders. CSM wanted to send Skinner a message, and he used Cardinal to deliver it.

In APOCRYPHA we learn that Cardinal is Nicaraguan, a graduate of the U.S. Army's School of the Americas (a school for counter-insurgency training) and an international mercenary. That probably means he was a member of Nicaraguan dictator Anastacio Somoza's National Guard prior to that country's communist revolution, and a member of the CIA supported CONTRA force afterwards.

Cardinal apparently tries to finish Skinner off by arranging to have Skinner transfered to another hospital and ambushing the ambulance en route. This ambush may have been arranged in order to prevent Skinner from making a positive I.D. The Well Manicured Man warns the Cigarette Smoking Man that there would be dire consequences if Skinner identified the man who shot him. However, it would seem to be simpler to eliminate Cardinal than kill Skinner, so I'm a bit confused why CSM would send Cardinal on another run at Skinner. Unless, of course CSM figured either Cardinal would get Skinner, or Scully, burning with rage over her sister's death, would kill Cardinal. Either way, it would have solved CSM's problem. If Cardinal just turned up dead, it would look like he was silenced by a larger conspiracy. Having Cardinal killed trying to eliminate the witness to his "random shooting" lends credibility to the idea that he was a "lone nut" and not the errand-boy of a larger group. If Skinner was killed, that still solves the problem. However, Skully showed great restraint and strength of character and refrained from killing Cardinal. This forced CSM to arrange for Cardinal's jail-house "suicide," proving once-again that anyone can be gotten to; everyone is vulnerable.

Cardinal begs pathetically for mercy, giving up the alien-possessed Krychek's ultimate destination in exchange for Scully sparing his life (something I imagine she planned to do anyway). A classic bully, Cardinal cowers instantly when confronted with someone with power over him.

THE RED HAIRED MAN:

Often referred to on the Internet as "the NSA assassin," The Red Haired Man is our most recent cold-blooded killer from GARNET, and he is argueably the most dangerous, In NESEI he rather neatly disposed of two Japanese "diplomats" (read: spies) and in 731 he beat the holy crap out of Mulder. While the Crewcut Man racked up the highest body count, his victims were scientists, over the hill spooks and high school kids. He never went mano-a-mano with another trained killer. The Red Haired Man's opponents were alot more dangerous.

Stepping out of the railcar and into a bullet can be excused as mearly failing to plan for the unthinkable. After all, the only people on Earth that could have found that railcar so quickly were the same group that had dispatched the Red Haired Man on his mission: The Majestic Project. The Red Haired Man had no reason to suspect that the man sent to back him up, Mr. X, would turn out to have his own agenda.

Unlike the Crewcut Man, the Red Haired Man was eloquent and smooth, more than up to the task of verbally sparing with Mulder. While he did partially give in to Mulder's threat to shoot his testicals off (I think I would have talked at that point too) the Red Haired Man never wimpered sweated or lost his cool, and his answers were cryptic enough to be little help.

The Red Haired Man performed his murders with a grim determination that showed no signs of joy or smug satisfaction. This is not to say he wasn't an amoral sociopath (practically a requirement for a professional assassin), but the Red Haired Man didn't seem to be the kind of sadistic bully the Crewcut Man was. The Red Haired Man was, however, vain, as demonstrated by his straightening his tie and primping his hair following his "wet work." But like the Crewcut Man, the Red Haired Man too was ultimately undone by the actions of an amateur: the Train Conductor. If not for the actions of the Train Conductor, the Red Haired Man would have garrotted Mulder, slipped away with the hybrid and set off the bomb covering his tracks and destroying the evidence.

THE GREY HAIRED MAN:

One of the most recent and destructive reoccuring MIBs to date is The Grey Haired Man. He first appeared in the epsisode F. EMASCULATA, as one of the two CDC doctors decontaminating Cumberland prison. In that episode he was called Dr. Simon Auerbach, and his CDC credentials turned out to be bogus. Dozens of prisoners died and were stuffed into the prisons incinerator while "Dr. Auerbach" supervised. Of course, this may not be the same character, just the same actor playing two different roles. Nicholas Lea had this same problem when he showed up first season to play the near-victim of a sex-crazed alien in GENDERBENDER, before moving on the role we've grown to hate him in: Alex Krycek.

Later The Grey Haired Man returned in PIPER MARU as one of the two men "from the intelligence commnity," who delivered a none-too-subtle threat to Asst. Director Walter Skinner to back off the investigation of Melissa Scully's murder. Then, in AVATAR, The Grey Haired Man is CSM's chief field operative in the plan to frame Asst. Director Skinner for murder. During that operation a prostitute and her madame were killed as part of the frame up and cover up. However, The Grey Haired Man's most reviled act, as far as most fans are concerned, has to be his assassination of Mr. X on the orders of CSM and the First Elder in the episode HERRENVOLK. The Grey Haired Man's latest appearance was in the episode MOMENTO MORI. There we find him executing one of the renegade alien clones (who went by the name Kurt Crawford) with one of the Alien Ice-picks as seen in COLONY, END GAME, TALITHA CUMI and HERRENVOLK. He also very nearly blows mulder away as Mulder is trying to escape from the alien controlled fertility clinic.

So far we haven't seen too much of The Grey Haired Man's personality. He has performed as a stone-faced, unflinching servant of the Cigarrette Smoking Man and the Consortium he serves. For the moment he appears to be CSM's right hand man, perhaps having inheirited the title from Mr. X. He carries out his assignments efficiently and cooly, showing niether pleasure nor displeasure at any of the bloody, ruthless acts he commits. One interesting note: unlike The Crew-cut Man, The Red Haired Man and some of the other villians, the Grey Hair Man is quite short. Check yer tapes folks. I suspect a rematch with Mulder sometime soon.

NTSB INVESTIGATOR SCOTT GARRETT:

Obviously not his real name. This MIB appeared in the episodes TEMPUS FUGIT and MAX as the mustached NTSB Investigator who turns out to be part of the cover-up the crash of Flight 549 and the UFO crash retrieval operation. Garrett may be one of the most reviled MIBs in X-Files history since he accidently shoots and kills Agent Pendrell (a supporting character of long standing who has acted as a kind of avatar for those of us with crushes on Gillian Anderson) during a shootout with Scully.

Garrett is a true believer, or at least he portrayed himself as one. When Mulder tells Garrett that Garrett will die too if there's any gunplay on the airplane they're both on, Garrett replies "A man, if he's any man at all, knows he must be ready to sacrifice himself to that which is greater than he. . . .Look out your window Agent Mulder. D'you see the lights? Now imagine if one of those lights flickered off. You'd hardly notice, would you? A dozen? Two dozen lights extinguished? Is it worth sacrificing the future, the lives of millions, to keep a few lights on?" With the future on the line, Garrett could morally justify any action, so long "the future, the lives of millions" was protected. So he accidently shot the wrong target? So the USAF accidently took out the airliner along with the alien invaders? Hey, collateral damage is to be expected.

But Garrett didn't show any remorse or empathy for his fellow agent when he recovered the plastic gun and erased the fingerprints and face of the assassin who died on Flight 549. He hardly blinked when one of the UFO recovery team's divers was (perhaps fatally) irradiated by the UFO's damaged power source. He killed Airman Armando Gonzales without compunction, and would have done the same to Airman Louis Frisch except for Scully's intervention. But he put himself on the line every time something really dangerous was called for: Making a hit on a protected target in a crowded bar; or boarding a plane with the intention of stealing an item from an armed target and making a HALO jump ala "D.B. Cooper" in order to make his escape. While he didn't hesitate to sacrifice others, he also didn't shirk from situations where he too could be sacrificed.

The E.B.E.s take Garrett and the missing power source component in a mid-flight abduction. His fate remains unknown. However, my guess is that Garrett is due for some extensive anal probing by the E.B.E.s. And who says there's no justice?

VASSILY PESKOW:

Vassily Peskow appears in the episode TERMA. While not a servant of Majestic Consortium, he does represent the Soviet's own "Consortium," and he does deserve mention. Particularly because of the way this fossilized cold-war relic ran circles around both the Majestic Consortium AND Mulder and Scully.

Peskow is a retired KGB agent and trained assassin. But nobody ever really retires from the KGB. The messanger who brings Peskow back for "one last mission" envokes the imagery that "the cold war is not over." The messenger does not threaten Peskow, but appeals to his patriotism. And it works. Peskow goes on the mission, alone and with almost no support. One of the things I loved about Peskow was the image of this ultra-deadly (if a bit arthritic) KGB killer taking the bus to his first target, Dr. Bonita Sayer. It was the perfect metephor for the KGB, broke, wearing thread-bare cloths, old and weary, but still ruthless, competent and deadly.

Peskow single-handedly (with perhaps some scouting and preparation for the mission performed by Krycek) murders the Majestic Consortium's expert on the Black Cancer (Dr. Sayers). He steals the Black Cancer infested meteorite from the secure NASA-Goddard Lab, kills all of the Majestic Consortium's test subjects at the Boca Raton nursing home and destroys the meteorite (and perhaps the Majestic Consortium's other Black Cancer samples). Peskow succeeds in setting the Majestic Consortium's Black Cancer immunization project back years.

Peskow has worked with Krycek before, and knew him by both the name Krycek and Arntzen, the name Krycek used to infiltrate the right wing militia group. What is curious is that Krycek seemed to outrank Peskow despite Peskow's "seniority" to Krycek.

Peskow may return in later episodes if The Cigarrette Smoking Man decides to trade Peskow's head to the Well Manicured Man in exchange for room to manuever inside the Consortium. The WMM desperately want to see Peskow dead for the murder of WMM's mistress, the very same Dr. Sayer who headed the Majestic Consortium's Black Cancer immunization project.

THE "REAL" MEN IN BLACK:

The episode JOSE CHUNG'S FROM OUTER SPACE provided the first look at traditional Men In Black as they are portrayed by the majority of UFO-conspiracy literature. Jesse "the Body" Ventura and Alex Trebek make appearances as un-earthly Men In Black, exhibiting knowledge about the people they are intimidating that no-one could possibly know, and engaging in overly complex and nonsensical, albeit threatening, conversation. The only complaint I have is that traditional MIBs (at least those that appear to be aliens in human guise) wear shockingly white shirts (to show off their black ties) and are pale, bald, have no facial hair, (I'm not kidding here) appear to wear lipstick and always wear sunglasses. The best visual representation of a traditional MIB on The X-Files was Leonard Vance, the horribly burned assistant to Rev. Hartley in the epsiode MIRACLE MAN.

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