The uncertainty of life continues to befall the oversized lavahead.
Continue on this perilous journey of the collective of lost lives.
E Pluribus Unum
Not
quite a chant piece, but it is certainly a Latin phrase that is endeared
by many. Hardly anyone knows what it means. The medium on which it appears
is most important. Yep, money ... dinero. I have made this journey
I call life on very little dinero, a feat onto itself. That is about
the only death-defying act I have accomplished. I have lived the mythical
life of a pauper roaming about strange lands and living amongst its people.
In the end, the result is the same. |X|=0, where X is my pathetic life.
Perhaps it is a lot less pathetic than I construe it to be. I am a lost
one in a crowd of many. However, I am the Keeper ... yes, the Keeper of
Lost Lives. I can taketh and I can giveth away. Baha! Ha! Ha Haaa!
Thursday September 5, 1996
Cali ... land of opportunity. The eternal babefest.
Home of Convalescent City. This is my first full day back here. I still
felt like I needed some Maalox. It was a beautiful day here, though, but
it was meaningless without baby's presence. I need to put an end to this
charade and get out of Dodge!
Tom and I talked for quite a while last night.
He caught me up on all the Convalescent City news. He was also surprised
that I came back. That makes five of us. Sheesh! I have begun to realize
that my plans, albeit honorable, have precluded baby. My decisions, inadvertently,
will keep us apart for a long time. I once thought that I needed to buy
time to get out of my financial crisis. I needed to get things done, I
said to myself. I need a job to pay off my loans. I needed to fulfill an
agenda (that I established prior to meeting baby). That was fine and dandy
until I realized that it could take years, maybe decades, for me to reach
a point that I could call comfortable. In the meantime, what about baby?
Exactly my point. Kevin, Skip and John may all be correct. I am a damned
fool! What am I going to do? Should I ask baby to drop everything and come
along on a wild goose chase? Should I drop everything and head due north?
All I know is that this present situation is not going to work. I will
not be sleeping well until this issue is resolved.
I picked up my mail. I had a huge stack of crap.
I went to Jack in the Box to get some coffee and sift through it all. After
that, I tried to take care of business, but I was thwarted at every turn
as usual. I met Big John at Denny's. I explained my precarious situation
to him. He was glad that he wasn't in my shoes. Who wouldn't be? I was
supposed to meet The Bull after that, but I missed him. This time, I was
late. Since when is The Bull ever on time? He did tell me (on the phone)
that there has not been an all-you-can-eat Chinese night since I left.
The Bishop may also not be in love anymore, but he is into some kind of
massage thing. Somehow I didn't care if I saw any of the old gang. It's
the same old thing. And, life goes on whether the oversized lavahead is
here or not. I stopped in to see my homey Rod and also The Master. I felt
that I needed to because there is no telling when I will up and leave.
Tom and I went down to Farmer's Market and ate at the Firestone Café.
He mentioned that Steph did not make it to Alaska. She is now on the East
Coast, so I will not be able to see her. Even with all this, I could not
get into the convalescent spirit.
Friday September 6
Another beautiful day in Convalescent City, and
another babefest! I felt much better today. I didn't feel as claustrophobic.
I continued in my quest to finish my business. I did all I could. I called
The Bull and arranged for us to meet downtown. I got there on time. The
Bull was late. I ran into Billy and talked with him for about 20 minutes.
The last time I had seen him was out near the canyon in June. He tried
to persuade me to take up rollerblading. Billy left shortly after. The
Bull finally showed up. We went to the Juice Club. Rama was working there.
She ended up talking to The Bull while the line behind us grew. We finally
got our drinks and sat down.
The Bull told me all about the babes who have been
after him all Summer. He is interested in only one babe, Jen, who works
at Applebee's. Tam has taken some more time off and has moved to Lake Tahoe.
The Bishop is no longer in love. The Bull had an interesting tryst down
in Orange County with Renata, the babe he met on the plane to Hawai'i.
She apparently jumped his bones, but he doesn't want anything to do with
her. "She's too submissive," he told me. The Bull has been going to Mother's
Tavern now that his club, Mango's, has closed down. Several gym guys want
The Bull to take them to Mother's with him. I'm sure that is because he's
a babe magnet. The Bull did bring me an application for the Rosarita Ensenada
ride that Team Loser is supposed to do at the end of the month. We are
supposed to ride the canyon tomorrow.
I noticed that my access stats are down even more.
This further adds testimony to the boring nature of my life, and it proves
that people really want to ear about winners like The Bull. Add to that
my confusion about whether to leave Convalescent City next week and you
have the makings of a Thorazine soirée. Tom and I walked over to
Burger King for dinner. Whoppers, our way, of course! On the way, we stopped
in Lucky's. One of my old homeys, Jeremy, was working there. I have not
seen him in years since he transferred down to Oxnard. When we came back,
I looked at my photo album again. The time has come for me to make a decision.
Kevin and Robert (Brattle@world.std.com) have been urging me through
e-mail to return to Oregon. They may be right.
Saturday September 7
I worked on my six-four to get it ready for the
big trip. Yep, my six-four and I are headed back to Oregon! Tom and I decided
to walk downtown. Along the way, a car pulled up next to us. It was JD,
one of the Highland house homeys. He gave us a ride to town. JD said that
he heard I went to Oregon because of a babe. I'm sure that his source was
Rod. Tom and I spent a couple of hours in Barnes & Noble before we
headed back. Later, we walked to Burger King for dinner. Whoppers, our
way, of course! When we came back, it was time for America's Most Wanted,
the film crew of which is presently in Convalescent City filming a segment
on the strange disappearance of a young woman here in June.
Today was a beautiful, babefest day again here.
I wished that baby was here to enjoy it. I have been happy to see old friends,
but it's just not the same. I called The Bull. He apparently was illin'
since last night, so we didn't ride out in the canyon. He said that he
hung out with the Bishop yesterday. Both The Bull and I tried to contact
the Cardinal so we could plan an all-you-can-eat Chinese night. The Cardinal
never called back. I also called Steph and left a dumb message for her.
I have been talking to baby every night on the
phone. Baby said that she had a bad feeling yesterday that I wasn't going
back up there. I told her that I was planning to be there on Tuesday or
Wednesday. I hope my plan works as I have had to finagle a lot of things
to implement it. If all goes well, I have just bought nine more months
of time. I will need that time. I just hope that I don't piddle it all
away.
Sunday September 8
I spent my afternoon at Barnes & Noble, working
on a few projects that I needed to complete. I also reviewed more nerd
books. Sheesh! I realized how little I know about anything including computers.
No wonder I'm unemployed and homeless! The only skill I possess is the
ability to write useless journals. Why does baby have anything to do with
a hopeless loser like the oversized lavahead? Maybe I should stay here
and just make my preparations to go directly to Hawai'i. There are plenty
of Burger Kings there, so I'm sure I can find a job.
It was a beautiful day outside again. Yep, babefest
... again! Occasionally, I spotted a homeless derelict wandering about.
You know, I'm just a few dollars short from that lifestyle. Perhaps I should
spare baby the agony of further discovering what a true loser I am. If
I had the means, I would take baby with me to Hawai'i (provided she would
want to live there). However, I can barely afford to even send a postcard
there. Once again, economics (aka dinero) will determine my fate.
Monday September 9
The long awaited reunion occurred last night.
The Bull, the Cardinal, the Bishop and I met for all-you-can-eat Chinese
dinner. This was not old home week, though. Both The Bull and the Bishop
mentioned that quite a few people were upset when I left a day early and
nixed the farewell dinner back in June. I didn't realize that it was to
be such an elaborate soirée. Things soon lightened up. The Cardinal
and the Bishop spent most of the evening doggin' out The Bull (about Renata)
and the ol' lavahead (because of his trip to Oregon). I formally said my
good-byes this time. I finally felt like some kind of closure was effected.
The Cardinal said that he talked to Tam. He told her that The Bull still
had a thing for her and she went off. Apparently, Tam has been on a vendetta,
going out of her way to tell all the babes at the gym about The Bull's
tenacity as a stud. Whatever goes around comes around. Sheesh!
Caroll called yesterday to find out how I was doing.
I made preliminary arrangements to see her in Salinas when I make a run
for the border tomorrow. I enjoyed my last day by engaging in another wild
goose chase. I tried to get into the clinic. Booyah! I tried to renew my
unemployment. Booyah! I did get in a lot of walking, though. I ran into
Mike (who took the Armadillo pictures) outside the unemployment office.
Times are hard, eh? We talked for a while. Then, I continued my wild goose
chase. After I got tired of that, I went to Barnes & Noble with my
beloved computer to get the last bit of work done. I was supposed to meet
Mateo there, but he didn't show. I went to Burger King for dinner. A Whopper,
my way, of course! Then, Windows Solitaire! Oh well. That about ends my
uneventful week's stay in Cali ... "I'll be back." Thanks, Arnold! And,
many thanks to Chicken Guy and kafka@paranoia.com for advising me
further on this situation.
Tuesday September 10
I got up and ran a few errands in the morning.
I also needed some Fodgers really bad. I have had Smooth-FM playing in
my six-four during my stay in Convalescent City. When the time finally
came for me to depart, I realized that it was sans fanfare just
as it was back in June when I first left. Once again, my journey begins,
but this time the journey goes somewhere. I'll see y'all in Oregon!
Wednesday September 11
I arrived at Caroll's place in Salinas at about
2:30pm. We sat, drank coffee and talked for a while. Then, we watched Fair
Game. We ate dinner at Lyon's and watched Casino, a depressingly
violent movie, later in the evening. Caroll got me up at 8am this morning,
although I didn't sleep at all. We had some coffee, and I left an hour
later. I enjoyed the short visit with Caroll. She always provides some
interesting spiritual viewpoints about life that make me think beyond the
mundane.
The drive was long, but I didn't encounter any
fiascoes along the way. I had time to think about a lot of things. I wondered
why I made the drive to Convalescent City a week ago. I guess I needed
to make the trip. At least I was able to visit with friends who I may not
see for a long time. I also wondered what my plans would be beyond my return
to Oregon. I have several contingencies in mind, but I can't guess which
one would be the most viable. I'm playing a shell game with my life, and
I'm losing big time. I arrived a little before 10pm. I was a little nervous
because I would be meeting baby's daughter for the first time. I rang the
doorbell. Baby answered the door. I was very happy to see her. I met baby's
daughter, although it was her bedtime. Baby and I stayed up for a while
and talked. And so, the new adventure begins. |
I'm playing a shell
game with my life, and I'm losing big time. |
Thursday September 12
We didn't do much today, which was nice. The skies
have been overcast all day. I washed my poor six-four. It deserves that
after being driven two thousand miles in a week. Caroll called and we talked
for a while. She has been playing the life version of the shell game, too,
and I think she is at wit's end. I don't blame her. I'm going through the
same thing. Baby and I have been discussing some serious aspects of our
relationship. She has expressed her desire to move to Hawai'i next June.
I want to move ASAP since I bought only enough time to get settled there.
I told baby to give it some serious thought because that is a drastic move.
She has herself and her daughter to consider. What do I have? My six-four?
My computer? I can move anywhere at anytime. We ended up in the computer
room to play Windows Solitaire for old time's sake. There was a young girl
in there playing Wolfenstein, so we watched her play while we waited.
Apparently, Wolfenstein has been a hit! To top off the day, we went
to Safeway. Can it get better than this?
Baby has expressed her love for the oversized lavahead
in many ways. I do not take any of that lightly. I'm sure she wants to
know if I have the same feelings for her. The truth is that I don't know
because I don't know what love is. I'm just like Data on Star Trek:
TNG. Sheesh! I know how miserable I was when I left for Cali. I think
about her all the time. Our last two weeks of Summer were very pleasant.
It seems strange not to know what love is. What I do know, however, is
that I would never use the term in vain. Too many people are willing to
say they love each other, only to end up hating each other in a month's
time. I would certainly like to have us end up in Hawai'i, but I want to
insure that it is dream came true rather than a nightmare. What is interesting
is that I never thought that I would find myself in this situation. I was
caught by surprise.
Friday the 13th!
This is usually the day the sinister force goes
hog wild but, fortunately, I spared any of that. The rains started up today.
It looks and feels like Winter already. Baby and I went out to buy my printer
cable, and also a JavaScript book. I sat and read my book for the rest
of the day. Baby began putting together things that she wants to sell.
She wants to make preparations in case she ends up moving. I have been
vacillating on this issue because I do not want to be responsible for baby
making a bad decision. Overall, the whole scenario has caused me a lot
of stress. I have to make critical decisions within a few weeks. I have
no more time to piddle away. For now, it looks like Hawai'i is where I'll
be heading within a month. Who knows, though? Anything can change at any
time.
Saturday September 14
Fodgers and no doughnuts! I had to exchange my
printer cable because it was defective. Now that I have the printer up
and running, I need to get the book manuscripts going. Instead, I spent
the rest of the afternoon reading the JavaScript book. This is why I am
a loser. I cannot remain focused. I have been a little preoccupied with
my immediate future. Baby cleaned off some jewelry which she wants to sell.
She wants to start putting price tags on everything. She seems very serious
about moving. We went to the gym together for the first time in weeks.
I knew that I needed to go because I was getting even more puny. I can barely
lift up the 830-page JavaScript book. Sheesh!
Sunday September 15
Fodgers and doughnuts did little to quell my anxiety.
I feel trapped by my own stupidity. I bought the Sunday Honolulu Advertiser
for $6 just to check out the classifieds. Things didn't look real encouraging.
As I suspected, I only qualified for the hamburger engineer openings at
Burger King. Each day has become a greater source of anxiety for me because
I now live minute-by-minute. Anything could change at anytime. Baby spent
the day polishing up her jewelry for a friend's garage sale next weekend. I
read my JavaScript book. We played some Windows Solitaire and later did
a short workout in the clubhouse. One West Waikiki was on the tube.
Frankly, I don't know what to do anymore. I have
to suffer the consequences of poor planning. Since I do everything by the
seat of my pants, I have to expect to incur some abrasions. It is too bad
that I can't seem to shave off some stone from the oversized lavahead.
I don't think that I am alone, though. In general, life is designed to
keep people from succeeding. Obstacles are deliberately placed to keep
us down in the rank-and-file. That's just another chapter of our own inhumanity.
Monday September 16
Am I really as stupid as I look? Why else would
I have wasted my life away? JavaScript has been keeping me occupied even
though I'm in my eleventh hour, as it were. I spent the rest of my time
on the computer in the clubhouse. It took me over an hour to get it to
boot up. Apparently, the boot ROM is malfunctioning. Good thing I'm a computer
nerd! Baby had a meeting to go to, but she joined me for a Windows Solitaire
marathon when she returned. I think that baby is worried that these may
be our last few weeks together. At this point, I can't say because I have
no idea where I'll be. It is unnerving, at best. I have spent too much
time on vacation. I don't know how to stand on my own two feet anymore.
The Bull is on vacation, too, but he has big bank. Well, it's time I just
bite the bullet. Burger King, here I come!
Tuesday September 17
I spent most of the day on the computer in the
clubhouse. I am finally putting together one of the two manuscript submissions
in the works. Of course, I had to play a little Wolfenstein as a diversion.
And, I also had to read my beloved JavaScript book. I think I'm going to
start up the JavaScript Institute. It will be similar to the now-defunct
Del Rio Research Center. Naturally, I know nothing about JavaScript. That's
the beauty of it all!
I have been having strange dreams every night.
I know it is because of the stress I am experiencing as a result of my
transient lifestyle. I have been winging it. This strategy seems to help
alleviate some of the anxiety. I can't even begin to think about what's
in store for me in the weeks to come. I will cross that bridge when I come
to it.
Wednesday September 18
I spent another whole day on the computer. After
I finished what I needed to do, I ended up playing Wolfenstein for
a couple of hours after the clubhouse closed. Baby was banging on the outside
door. I let her in. She told me that I was late for dinner. Well, hey!
I made it to the fourth level! Of course, I had the game set at the "Daddy,
can I play?" level. Sheesh! At least it kept my mind off of other things.
There is so much to do in the next couple of weeks.
I want to begin submitting the manuscripts, and I need to establish the groundwork
for the JavaScript Institute. I will also need to research my move to Hawai'i.
My biggest dilemma is whether I should ship my six-four back. You know,
my six-four and I have been through a lot together. The real issue, though,
is what will happen to baby and I. Seven months is a long time, and who
knows what will happen between now and then. I guess this is all the more
incentive for me to get the ball rolling on some of these projects. Our
collaborative novel is still incomplete, but I am willing to take a risk
and submit manuscript proposals to potential publishers. It should only
take about three weeks of solid work to finish it. Only time will tell.
Yet, if I don't take a more proactive stance about my destiny, then I will
be doomed to failure.
Thursday September 19
Well, I made it to the sixth level of Wolfenstein!
That's quite an accomplishment for me. I wonder if I should put this on
my résumé. I spent all day on the computer playing Wolfenstein
and working on both the manuscript and my résumé (yuck!).
Baby joined me later in the afternoon and played Windows Solitaire. We
apparently lost track of time. It got so late that we missed gym time.
Sheesh! Kevin was supposed to visit this weekend, but he apparently cannot
make it. It looks as though he will be here next weekend to celebrate his
birthday with his virtual homeys!
Friday September 20
I spent yet another full day in front of the computer.
Baby drove out to Troutdale to drop off some garage sale items. I am far behind
in the things that I need to do. It is just too easy to click on Wolfenstein.
Sheesh! When baby returned, she played several rounds of Windows Solitaire. I am
beginning to think that we are both spending far too much time at the computer.
Baby had found the onion-flavored Bush's baked beans at Thriftway the other day.
We broke them out tonight.
After dinner, baby did not feel too well. She conveyed
to me that she was overwhelmed by the thought of when I would have to leave.
The thought had hit her when she was manning the garage sale alone while her
friend was doing something else. I haven't given my departure very much thought.
After I left earlier this month, I knew that I would not want to feel that
kind of devastation again. I will face that situation when the time comes.
Saturday September 21
Fodgers and no doughnuts! Wolfenstein! Windows
Solitaire! That about sums up this rainy, overcast day. What else could
we do? I did get a few things done on the computer, though. I made it to
the sixth level of Wolfenstein again. For some reason, the game
crashes when I get to that level. Actually, I don't know why I have been
investing so much time playing Wolf. I have never played computer games
except for Windows Solitaire. Now, I know that Wolf is a little archaic
as far as games go. Well, hey! I can't afford Duke Nukem or Quake!
And, I don't have CD-ROM. I need CD-ROM. I also can't get the JavaScript
Institute going if I don't have CD-ROM. How else am I going to snake those
great JavaScript code?
I have been thinking intermittently about the situation
that baby and I face. Baby wanted to know if I want her to follow me to
Hawai'i. I can't ask her to come along on a whim. I do not want to bear
the responsibility of leading someone astray. All I could tell her is that
she was welcome to follow me. However, there will be a tough road ahead.
Jobs are scarce and the cost of living is sky high. That's the price one
has to pay to live in Paradise. Well, where there is a will, there is surely
to be a way. I just hope I didn't bite off more than I can chew.
Sunday September 22
Yep! Fodgers and no doughnuts again! Whassup wi'
dat? We found out that the local punks broke into the kitchen and stole
all of the doughnuts yesterday. Baha! Ha! Ha! Haaa! Maybe someone should
have called 9-1-1! I played Wolfenstein but I was removed from service
on the fourth level. Baby played Windows Solitaire for a while. It was
such a nice day, though, that we didn't feel like wasting all of it in
the computer room. So, we went to Egghead Software. After that, I went
along with baby to Troutdale. Apparently, baby sold off a few more things than
she had anticipated, so we went to Trader Joe's right afterward. No Bush's
baked beans tonight, thank goodness! Err ... I meant that we had to substitute
something else for the Bush's since Trader Joe's does not stock them.
Monday September 23
I had a series of unusual dreams last night again.
I have noticed that each and every dream has something to do with computers,
the dumbest yet being the one where I materialized in Wolfenstein
and became a part of the game. Needless to say, these dreams have been
leaving me a little fatigued. Baby's ex-hubby showed up at the door
this morning. I had a feeling that this was going to happen. Although his
explicit intentions were to discuss their daughter, it was obvious that
this was also a scouting mission for other more nefarious purposes. I have
had reservations about this situation for some time, with respect to baby's
daughter. I am sure that everything has been somewhat confusing to her.
My main concern was not to become involved in things outside my sphere
of influence, albeit negligible as it may be. I just hope that things do
not escalate into the realm of stupidity.
Guys have an interesting way of making their presence
known. For lack of a better term, I'll just call it the Code of the West.
First contact is to feel out the situation and obtain visual data. If necessary,
this is also where an implicit warning is delivered. I am not one to play
into this game. I have neither the time or the patience. My initial JavaScript
code did not work and I am in a bad way. Perhaps it is not the JavaScript
code. Maybe it is my pathetic life once again tugging at my britches.
Baby had another meeting to go to, so I went to
Burger King for lunch. Whoppers, my way, of course! I carefully perused
the place to see if it would be a good work environment. I lost my appetite
for my Whoppers. Baby and her daughter both had dentist appointments, so
I continued to work on my various projects. I could barely concentrate.
My biggest concern and fear is the future. Either I'll get my Toilet Ducks
lined up in a row, or there will be hella flushing!
Tuesday September 24
The sinister
force was at it again last night! Big John called from Convalescent City
to tell me that my loan is all screwed up. Big John is acting on my behalf
to pick up the necessary paperwork. If this loan goes defunct, so will
my life. Sheesh! Baby discovered that she needs to have a root canal done.
Her dentist prescribed some pain killers. After taking one pill, she was
illin' pretty bad.
Big John called again this morning to tell me that
the loan is definitely screwed up. I sent an e-mail off, but I did not
receive a reply by the end of the day. I went along with baby to run a
few errands. She needed to pick up a prescription for antibiotics. Apparently,
her tooth is infected and she needs to reduce the infection before her
appointment tomorrow. We also stopped by Trader Joe's to pick up more goodies.
I played a little Wolfenstein in the afternoon. Well, hey! What
else can I do? My life is falling apart before my very eyes. We did go
to the gym fairly late last night but we both got in a descent workout.
Unfortunately, we have only been able to work out about once a week. I
need to stop playing marathon Wolf!
Wednesday September 25
The weather has been very nice for the last three
days. We have not been outside much to enjoy the weather, however, because
of ... you guessed it ... Wolf! I took baby to the dentist today in my
six-four because I didn't want her to drive after having dental surgery.
We spent the rest of the day in the computer room. Baby played Windows
Solitaire and I lapsed into a coma. Later, I played Wolfenstein
with baby's daughter. Baby and I then spent the rest of the evening on
our respective computers. I have a lot of work to catch up on for the newly
founded JavaScript Institute. |
... I lapsed into
a coma. |
Kevin called this evening to confirm his arrival
here on Friday. He is bringing some of his Black Forest birthday cake (Yum!)
to share with us. He is looking forward to working on baby's car with the
oversized lavahead. We are going to pull out the starter. Kevin said that
we can get in some male bonding time. In the old days, I would have also
thrown in some King "Don't let the smooth taste fool ya!" Cobra for the
total Day wi' da Boyz experience. Sheesh! Lord knows I need it. I called
about the loan. It is all screwed up. It looks like it will take over three
weeks to reconcile the whole situation. It's a good thing that I'm Big
Money Grip like The Bull. Yeah, right. Why the sinister force continues
to toy with the oversized cranium is a question that is beyond me.
Thursday September 26
Although it was just another beautiful day outside,
I found myself confined in the dark, windowless computer room. I managed
to get a lot of correspondence done but all of it is merely to break through
the bureaucratic red tape. I am no further than I was three months ago.
I can't believe how much time is spent dealing with this kind of nonsense.
I did happen to notice that my chest is now proportionally concave to the
convex surface of the CRT computer monitor. What does that tell you? And,
I did not even have time to play Wolfenstein. You know I be illin'!
The JavaScript Institute is alive and well, at
least in my mind. I need to hire some programmers because I have no idea
what is going on. Well, hey! I'm a useless bureaucrat! Moms sent me more
classified ads from Hawai'i, and I noticed right away that Burger King
is hiring. If I send off my application now, then I'll be good to go! Whoppers,
my way, for the rest of my life! Yes! Baha! Ha! Haaaa!
Friday September 27
Most
of my day was spent at the computer. Baby was out and about on various
errands for most of the day. She finally got back around 7pm. I did a short
cardio workout in the clubhouse, and I got to watch the Three Stooges!
Kevin arrived shortly afterwards. He was famished, so we went to Burger
King! Kevin ordered a Whopper his way without onions. When he got his Whopper,
he discovered that there was a slice of onion in it. "What a loser! I can't
even have a Whopper my way!" he exclaimed. Baby and Kevin spent the rest
of the evening chatting about da man's music. I worked on my JavaScript
Institute projects for the rest of the evening.
Saturday September 28
Kevin and I did a little shopping in the morning.
We wanted to get started on baby's car but she had some errands to run.
We gave her plenty of time to do that as well as to allow the engine time
to cool off. We got a late start on the car. We found that we could not
remove a bracket that was blocking the starter. Demoralized and emasculated,
we resorted to a contingency plan. We ignored the starter and began the
process of elimination with the clutch cutoff switch. Kevin bypassed it
with a paperclip. We will see if this is the problem. The next suspect
is the relay. No, I won't be bypassing that with a cheesy paperclip. Sheesh!
Baby played Windows Solitaire while she waited
for us. Then, she tried to do a workout in the clubhouse, but she suffered
what appeared to be a bronchitis attack. After her symptoms subsided a
little, we all took a walk. We made a nice dinner here. Then, we went to
Tower Records and to Starbuck's. It was not an exciting birthday celebration
for Kevin. Well, hey! I'm an unexciting guy! On the way back from Starbuck's,
Kevin lamented about the babe situation (after seeing some babe that worked
there). I mentioned that I could hook him up with The Bull because The
Bull is a babe magnet (as we all well know). Kevin said that he, too was
"a babe magnet, but in a non-ferrous world."
Sunday September 29
Baby was not feeling any better today. Kevin and
I left for Nike World in Portland. On the way, we saw a Copeland's SuperStore.
I mentioned that Convalescent City is the world headquarters for this chain.
We stopped there and Kevin found a pair of shoes that he liked. We then
went to the Burger King drive-thru and ordered some Whoppers (our way!).
We brought lunch back including a Whopper for baby. So much for Portland
... we never left beautiful Beaverton. We were all supposed to go to the
gym this afternoon, but there was no way that baby would be up for that.
Kevin and I went on a short tour of beautiful Hillsboro and beautiful Beaverton.
He wanted to see the St. Mary's electrical substation (yep, the ones with
the transformers and distribution lines for electric power), so we drove
there. Once an engineer, always an engineer! After all the excitement,
Kevin decided that he would get an early start back to Seattle. I spent
the rest of the day making sure that baby had everything she needed. Mind
you, I'm not a pampering kind-of-a-guy. Baby spent most of the day resting
in bed, so hopefully she will be better tomorrow.
Monday September 30
It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, would
you be my ... would you be my neighbor? (sing-along) Errr, sorry Mr. Rogers,
but I was having flashbacks of my old days living below Loser. Memories.
That's all I have. Baby spent all day in bed. I am beginning to wonder
whether she has something far more serious than the flu. She has been running
a mild fever and the bronchial symptoms have not subsided. I ran over to
the Drug Emporium to get her some temporary relief. I spent the rest of
the day working on stuff for the JavaScript Institute.
Caroll called yesterday. She mentioned that she
went to Convalescent City to look for a place to stay. She needs to be
there two days a week. She confirmed that the housing situation is out
of control. Even the motel rates are inflated. She finally got an e-mail
account. I wonder if I should tell her about the Web and LoserNet.
Tuesday October 1, 1996
Time sure flies when one is having hella fun!
I continued working on stuff for the JavaScript Institute. So far, the
code has been working. I have not been designing anything exciting. Frankly,
I don't know what to design. Baby spent a good portion of the day in bed.
She needed her rest. I have been a little worried that she may actually
have some form of pneumonia. We will know in the next few days, if the
symptoms persist. I have been under the weather since last week, too. I
think I just have a bad cold, though. I had to put my beloved JavaScript
book down much earlier in the evening than expected. For some reason, I
developed a whopper (definitely not my way) of a headache!
I received my first e-mail from Caroll. That was
exciting, in and of itself. When is The Bull going to be on-line? That
is a question most of the babes on the Web want to know. I shudder at the
thought. I am always glad to have associates join me on the Net. It's getting
hard for me to even afford a postage stamp. Sheesh!
Wednesday October 2
The whole loan situation is turning into a nightmare.
I found out that my payments are scheduled to begin in a month. What happened?
I called around to see what's what, but all I could decipher from the red
tape was that I'm a moron. Why is it that things go haywire when I'm a
thousand miles from Convalescent City? Baby felt a little better today
but she still exhibited some bronchial constriction. We went out to look
for some magic pills. We had difficulty locating the pills at three drug
stores. We found out that the over-the-counter bronchial dilators were
in big demand because they can be used in home-brew methamphetamine production.
Sheesh! We finally found them at Payless. We went down to the computer
room. I took my beloved notebook computer with me so that baby could play
Windows Solitaire while I worked on some JavaScript.
I
have been eating a lot of Trader Joe's granola. Well, hey! It's cheap!
Kevin did not like the granola. He preferred Froot Loops. I found that
the granola is cheaper than Froot Loops, and Froot Loops are just sugar-coated
air. I also made some Trader Joe's black bean chili for baby. You know,
that hot chili will kill all germs! She didn't seem to like the taste.
Naturally, I loved them. Say, did you know that Bush's has a new variety
of beans? Yep, Bush's Chili Magic! Yum! I can hardly wait to try them.
Thursday October 3
Baby and I went to the gym last night. I was feeling
so puny that I had to go. I am spending far too much time on the computer.
Speaking of which, I was in the computer room in the clubhouse and a guy
named Todd stopped in to talk to me. He said that he was a "computer specialist."
I think he was trying to drum up some business. I told him that I was working
on a project for the JavaScript Institute. He then delineated on his training
techniques in the proper use of word processors. Is it my concave chest
that brings all these computer nerds in my direction? Do they seek solace
in my company?
Baby's daughter has been asking me a lot of questions
lately. I think she is wondering about what is going on, and I don't blame
her. Here, some computer nerd just pops out of nowhere for no reason at
all ... I'd begin to wonder, too. Baby seems a little unsettled about the
future just as much as I am. I don't have any answers right now. Big John
sent me a couple of articles about the tight housing situation in Convalescent
City. There is no way that I will be living there again. It seems that
my choices are being made for me once again.
Friday October 4
Things are getting a little strained around here
again. The majority of the problem now lies with my own inability to cope
with life stressors. And, I am spending far too much time on the computer.
I have no choice, though. The worst part is that I am becoming emaciated.
My twig-like physique is shrinking even further. Sheesh! The rains started
up again, which certainly did little to help the situation. Baby and I
went to the gym in the evening. Baby later mentioned how puny I've gotten.
I just about lost it. Maybe I should just throw in the towel already! You
know, I'm even a disgrace as a computer nerd. My JavaScript projects are
full of bugs. And, I have to debug them on a bug-infested version of Netscape.
This can be considered a classic case of stupidity in action.
Saturday October 5
I got up early for Fodgers and doughnuts. Baby
slept in. I'm sure she was fatigued from the week with that strange disease.
I was left to my own devices for most of the day, though, as baby had many
things to do. As usual, I was on the computer. I think that one of the
JavaScript problems I was working on was caused by a date object bug in
Netscape. At least that sounds good enough for me. I went to the gym by
myself, and then I stopped off for a Whopper (my way!). Baby and I later
went to a housewarming party in Troutdale. I spent most of my time
at the buffet or in the computer room since baby was off talking with a
few of her friends. I was playing Doom, when one of the kids came
in to talk to me about Duke Nukem. He explained to me all of the
unique features of Duke Nukem. All in all, it was a fun evening.
Well, hey! I'm a computer nerd!
Sunday October 6
The weather has been nice for the last two days.
Baby and I both got up early for Fodgers and doughnuts. We didn't do much
all day. I felt a tinge of anhedonia. Well, hey! I'm getting puny! We went
for a walk in the afternoon, and we also went to the gym. I managed to
check my weight and, sure enough, I lost 15 pounds. Sheesh! You know, I
know the perfect way to lose weight for all those people who have a weight
problem. Forget the Slim-Fast! Just become a computer nerd. That's right.
Lose pounds and inches in a matter of a few weeks without the drudgery
of exercise or those annoying diets! Just purchase a nice multimedia computer
with an ergonomic keyboard and mouse. That deserves another "Sheesh!"
Monday October 7
I removed the paperclip switch bypass on baby's
car yesterday. The starting problem is still occurring and now it's either
the relay or the starter. Fortunately, the weather has been holding up.
I didn't get much done today. Baby wasn't feeling too well. She still has
residual symptoms of the mysterious disease that hit her hard last week.
We went to Crazy Chef Sato's for lunch. Baby had a late afternoon meeting
to attend, so I ran some errands. I stopped off at Trader Joe's to buy
more granola on the way back. I also got some empty boxes. Now I will be
able to start packing some of my stuff.
I wasn't in the mood to do my stuff for the JavaScript
Institute. I discovered that my poor programming techniques were responsible
for the various bugs in my code. Sheesh! Baby and I have been up late these
past few nights. She spends hours with e-mail. I have been doing JavaScript.
I am becoming a little fatigued. Even Wolfenstein has lost its luster.
I need to get back to writing. What a loser! I keep vacillating between
incomplete projects. No wonder nothing gets done, and I move closer and
closer to a lifetime of hamburger engineering at Burger King.
Tuesday October 8
It was a long night for baby. She had a major
relapse of bronchitis. However, I am beginning to believe that it is a
somatic response to several stressors. There seems to be no clear-cut reason
for it. Not surprisingly, the symptoms reduced significantly when she was
in a self-induced state of relaxation. The symptoms reappeared later in
the afternoon. We talked about several possibilities over a long game of
Windows Solitaire. Baby is carrying a tremendous amount of old luggage
with her. She needs to divest some of that luggage or it is going to affect
her health severely. I feel powerless to do anything, though. In actuality,
what could I do except to be a friend? I think she is too entrenched in
a lifestyle and circle of friends that are suffocating her. Baby had another
relapse after dinner. I was going to take her to the hospital, but she
didn't want to go. I went out and got her an inhaler, and she recovered
enough to spend several hours with e-mail. Sheesh!
I talked with Caroll after reactivating my Sprint
card for the second time. She is having a tough time making it, especially
since her loan is also tied up. Sometimes I just wish life would go smoothly
for all of us. The firm that handles the Epson printer rebates rejected
my rebate request. It claimed that I sent in an invalid serial number sticker.
Well, I checked the box again, and that was the only sticker outside. I
assume that this is a creative technique of skipping out of paying me the
$30 rebate.
Wednesday October 9
What a day I'm having! I decided to tackle the
nonsense about my printer rebate. So, I went down to the computer room
to print out my letter. The printer ribbon was out, so I had to unbox my
printer (the focus of the rebate fiasco). It took me almost an hour to
get it working. Somehow the ink cartridge did not want to prime. I felt
like taking it out to the dumpster. Baby ran some errands while I played
with the printer. Later, I accompanied baby when she went out to get her
hair trimmed and also to do some shopping. We got back in time for her
to play Windows Solitaire in the computer room. I inspected the printer
and found that the ribbon was kinked. I straightened it out, and the printer
worked fine. All that nonsense could have been spared. Sheesh!
Baby seemed to be doing better today. She still
has that nagging cough, but she was able to breathe. She made a nice Trader
Joe's specialty dinner for us. I spent the rest of the evening doing what
I should have done earlier if it weren't for the stupid printer. And,
baby helped me debug some of the new JavaScript code!
Thursday October 10
The heatwave finally subsided, so I spent most
of the day in the computer room. I needed to get some of the JavaScript
Institute stuff done. I also needed to fill out the form for one of those
weekly shoppers. Yep, it is time for me to sell my six-five. I am still
debating about whether I should sell my beloved six-four. Alas, the six-four
has been to hell and back with the ol' lavahead. How could I abandon it
now?
Toward the evening, baby left for a Tupperware
party. I stayed in and continued to work on stuff for the JavaScript Institute.
I have come to realize how useless JavaScript is. It is merely a lot of
hand waving that only appears to produce something useful. In effect, it
is just another time-killer.
Friday October 11
It
was drizzling most of the day, so I spent time working on JavaScript. LoserNet
will soon be a bustle of JavaScript activity. There are already numerous
modules in beta test, if you can believe it! Baby took the ol' lavahead
to lunch at Benihana of Tokyo. Our hostess asked if we wanted tea. I almost
replied, "Tea, Earl Grey, hot," just as Captain Picard would say to the
replicator. I actually picked that habit up from Kevin. Every time he made
a cup of Earl Grey, he would bellow that out. Incidentally, I can hardly
wait to see Data in the new Star Trek: TNG movie coming out next
month! I spent the rest of the day on more JavaScript stuff in the computer
room. Baby came down to play Windows Solitaire. There were people waiting
to play Wolfenstein on the computer, so we left. We returned at 7pm, and
waited for the guy ahead of us to finish playing Heretic. That took
a while. Baby and I played a long game of Windows Solitaire. We ended up
missing another day at the gym. So, it was another night on the computer!
Sheesh!
Saturday October 12
The rain beating against the pane glass windows
was incentive enough to stay in and work on the computer. No Fodgers and
doughnuts this morning because the clubhouse was being decorated for a
wedding. Later in the afternoon, we heard a loud "meow" outside. Opening
the door, we saw a little Siamese kitty. He immediately ran inside from
the rain. Cats are interesting creatures to watch. They prowl around and
investigate everything. Then, they lay down to clean themselves before
taking a nap. So, too, with kitty. Unfortunately, we had to put him back
outside before we left for the gym. We did a short workout and stopped
off at Trader Joe's. We had another Trader Joe's specialty meal. I spent
the rest of the night in front of my computer with a cup of Earl Grey.
Baby read the Hawai'i tour book. After two hours of burning the midnight
oil, I finally finished more projects for the JavaScript Institute.
Sunday October 13
Fodgers and doughnuts! I got my much needed caffeine
and sugar fix this morning. Baby ran an errand or two while I sat
around like a putz in front of the computer again. My JavaScript routine
caused Netscape to crash. Fortunately, I have Doc Watson running. I have
been spending all day working on Web frames. I now know why I have never
implemented them. They are useless. Baby convinced me to go to the gym
since I was on the brink of losin' it. I did a short meathead workout,
and then I went to the gym's tube lounge. Star Trek: Voyager was
on. I am not a great fan of this series or Star Trek: DSN, but I
needed my fix of sci-fi. I felt much better. Baby also read the competitor's
journals aloud to the ol' lavahead, so I was finally in deep relaxation.
In a way, I am glad that I have JavaScript as a
diversion. I have been looking upon my move back to Hawai'i with greater
apprehension. Moms has been sending the classifieds, but it is not looking
real promising. Moms also sent me a package of coffee, chocolate covered
macadamia nuts and some toothbrushes. What would I do without moms? Actually,
moms is the main reason I must move home. Both moms and pops are getting
up in years and I need to see more of them. Even if I move over there for
less than a year, I will not regret the decision.
Monday October 14
Can you guess what I've been doing all day? Yep,
the computer and JavaScript. It was raining all day anyway. I finally got
the frames problem solved, but now I have trouble with the actual code.
My poor computer was put through the wringer as Netscape crashed several
times. Even Doc Watson was getting a little tired of it. I have no other
choice since Netscape is the only way I can run and test the code. As much
as I hate to admit it, Visual Basic and VBScript may be the way to go.
My programming skills have declined considerably. Actually, they were never
very good. That's why I will end up at Burger King. Put the frozen, processed
French fries in the basket, throw them in the vat of greasy, hot shortening
and turn the timer on. Now that's my kind of programming!
Baby's daughter has been away since Wednesday.
She didn't see my six-four parked here, so she thought I left Oregon. I
was out at Trader Joe's and, naturally, I had to stop in at Egghead Software,
too. She seems to think that the ol' lavahead is okay. Well, hey! It's
the Data-like personality! What else could it be?
Tuesday October 15
Another wet day here in Oregon! I had some errands
to run including buying a box for my new printer. This was the first time
I bought a box to ship something. The printer has some odd dimensions,
so none of the free boxes I got from Trader Joe's would fit it inside.
I worked a little on the defunct JavaScript program. So far ... zilch!
It is a loser. Speaking of losers, I noticed that NetSurfer Digest briefly
mentioned my ol' pal Loser (along with the competitor) in the current e-mail
issue. It was part of a blurb on a Web page that indexed Web journals.
The Keeper happened to be listed, which gave me a sense of being. Later
tonight, I will be trying to connect directly to my account via long distance
so I can download the new version of Netscape. Hopefully, JavaScript runs
better on that version. I also want some new sound bites so that my computer
will also provide endless amusement. Sheesh!
Incidentally, I have received several interesting
comments off of the new form. I should mention that the form was supposed
to be JavaScript enhanced, but none of the modules are up and running.
I must apologize for not replying quickly. My access is limited. I am usually
on-line long enough to use Xmodem but only to transfer the daily journal
entry.
Wednesday October 16
I was not able to download Netscape or the sound
files last night. I forgot that the modem pool has only 10 modems. Can
you believe it? Baby and I had another misunderstanding this morning. She
seems to think that I am toying with her. Babes need a lot of affirmation.
The ol' lavahead is not used to this. When the ol' lavahead was growing
up, the only affirmation he heard was "stupid kid." We finally worked things
out. I then went along with baby to do a couple of errands. When baby's
daughter came home from school, we all went down to play Windows Solitaire.
We had to go out to a friend's place in Troutdale. She
wanted some help with her computer. Basically, she is trying to set up
her new business on it. I was not able to help much, although I optimized
the computer. Baby's friend's significant other came in to talk to me about
Doom. I was trying to review the CD-ROM for JavaScript that I brought.
I could not find the code I was looking for. Later, he played Doom
II while I watched. He warped over to the 31st level, and the setting
looked all too familiar. It was Wolfenstein! He gave me a full copy of
Wolfenstein. Sheesh! I've been trying to snake software that I really
need and I end up with more Wolf! Is that some kind of poetic justice, or what?
The babes finished their discussion and joined us. That was the signal for the
end of the evening.
Thursday October 17
I spent all day on the computer. Baby ran some
things over to her friend's new consignment shop. I installed the full version
of Wolf on the computer in the clubhouse. Baby and her daughter went to
a B-day party around 6pm, and so I was left to my own devices. I wanted
to go to Burger King for dinner (a Whopper, my way!) but thought better
of it. Instead, I stayed in and installed Wolf on my beloved computer.
Sheesh!
Friday October 18
I was up most of the night trying to download
Netscape. My first attempt took over an hour, but the FTP server just stopped
on me. I had only about 500K left. I was ready to lose it since I was doing
a long distance logon. The second attempt took another hour. I was able
to retrieve the whole file, though. The only highlight was that I was also
able to download my new sound files!
Baby had several appointments today, so I played
with my new version of Netscape. What else could I do? We will be on the
road to Seattle tomorrow. Baby has a meeting on Sunday. Our old friend,
Kevin, has invited us to stay with him. So, what did I do for the rest
of the day? Wolf ... need I say more?
Saturday October 19
We had a late start to Seattle. Baby had a few
errands to run. I was having Fodgers and doughnuts while playing Wolfenstein.
Baby's daughter joined me for a couple of games. It was raining most of
the way up. Miraculously, the sky cleared up. We arrived at Kevin's place
in Kirkland (named after Captain James T. Kirk) about 3pm. We sat and chatted
with Kevin and moms for a while, and played with the true owner of the
house, Lord Watson (Kevin's kitty). Instead of Bush's baked beans, we ate
at Rikki Rikki, Kevin's favorite Japanese restaurant. After dinner, Kevin
dropped me off at his place. I used his computer to work on stuff for the
JavaScript Institute. They went to see Matilda, and it apparently
turned out to be a surprisingly delightful movie.
Sunday October 20
I got up early to continue work for the JavaScript
Institute. Baby slept in. Kevin went to church. Baby's daughter was
slightly bored. When Kevin returned, we were all up and about. Baby had
a meeting in Seattle, so she and her daughter left at about 1:30pm. Kevin
and I went to Burger King for some Whoppers. This time, it was my turn
to be denied a Whopper my way. I felt betrayed. We then went to the see
the Hawai'ian art display at the University of Washington. After that,
Kevin took me on a little tour. The weather was unusually nice. The sun
was actually out! He showed me the house he used to live in, and the park
along the Puget Sound just a few blocks away. There was a beautiful view
of the Olympic mountain ranges. The highlight of the trip was the tour
of the Microsoft empire. "This is the home of Windows Solitaire!" Kevin
proclaimed. I felt a tinge of sickness as I realized that Bill Gates and
I are the same age. Strange how Bill is a stud, and the ol' lavahead is
a ... well, loser seems to sum it up nicely. We all met back at Kevin's
place at six. We had enough time to catch a bite to eat at Romio's Pizza
(formerly Harry's). After dinner, we made the drive back to Oregon.
Monday October 21
I immediately broke out the computer last night.
I tried to install some of the programs I had copied over from the CD-ROM.
What a loser! Each had a 30-day self-destruct unless I send in some dough.
Sheesh! I loaded those programs on the clubhouse computer this morning.
Baby had several meetings to go to, so what else could I do?
I am getting a little nervous about my departure.
Everything seems to be coming apart at the seams, as usual. I still haven't
even checked on the cost of shipping my six-four to Hawai'i. Perhaps, all
I really need is a lobotomy. I will have to think out my situation. So
far, I have been careful to avoid any thinking at all. I find that the
less I think, the less I tend to complicate matters. When does one draw
the line, though? I could easily see myself becoming a Wolfenstein
brain donor. Sheesh!
Tuesday October 22
I spent most of last night working on my JavaScript
code. I finally got it to work. As it turns out, the error was my own doing
(or undoing). In an attempt to maintain proper syntax, I put a bracket
in the wrong place. Sheesh! At least I finally could sleep! I have devoted
most of this day to working on the rest of the project. Baby had a meeting
and several errands to run, which kept her out most of the day. The weather
has been dreary and cold, too. Fortunately, the rain stopped.
I have been having some surreal out-of-body experiences
lately. It is kind of like I am sitting somewhere else, watching myself
on the tube. Well, in a way I am starring in my own sitcom. This is a strange
feeling. I wonder if I am going berserk, or perhaps this all due to anxiety
about my uncertain future. I need a distraction. Wolfenstein? I
don't think so. As soon as the projects for the JavaScript Institute are
done, there will be much more nonsense for me to do.
Wednesday October 23
I
burned the midnight oil last night with JavaScript. I was finally able
to achieve moderate success. I also had a bizarre dream last night. The
only part I remember is me bringing a bottle of King Cobra (Don't let the
smooth taste fool ya!) and engaging in some dereliction with two other
derelicts. I woke up with a massive headache. I was also freezing since
I didn't have the covers over my upper body. Speaking of dereliction, my
monk haircut has grown out. I dread the thought of going back to see Butch,
though. If I need a Flowbee haircut, I can do it myself. Sheesh! I took
one short break to play Wolfenstein, but I couldn't play it longer
than ten minutes. Perhaps I have weaned myself of this foolishness. Or,
maybe I am just fatigued because I have been competing for time on the
clubhouse computer with other fools for the last three days. When I finally
have real work to do, everyone else wants to play Wolf!
Thursday October 24
I burned the midnight oil again with JavaScript.
I am putting the finishing touches on the projects for the JavaScript Institute.
I also revised a few pieces of code that worked fine on Netscape 2.02 but
not on the latest version.
The sun came out for a few hours today. Baby had
a whole series of appointments, so I was left to my own devices. As I sat
and drank my morning coffee, I thought about my return to Hawai'i. My main
reason is to spend more time with moms. Kevin's mom lives with him, but
she will be moving to Las Vegas soon. He thinks it's for the better. Interestingly,
he mentioned that many babes are wary of going out with guys who live with
their mothers. Perhaps this is more evidence that babes like da bad boyz.
I had some Trader Joe's chili beans for lunch. Then, I continued to refine
my JavaScript project. I have become a true computer nerd. All I do is
work on the computer. I have no other interests now. That is beginning
to scare me.
Friday October 25
I had another weird dream last night. It took
place in a what appeared to be a Southern mansion. The story was classic
mini-series genre, but I cannot remember my role in it. I spent most of
the day at the computer. More JavaScript problems! I finally reconfigured
Winsock after another Xmodem incident. Why didn't I do this earlier? That's
my lot in life, I presume. I also reviewed the classifieds that moms sent
me from home. As usual, all I get out of the classifieds is black ink all
over my hands. I saw the usual "team player" nonsense. If there are so
many team players, why are there so many problems in the workplace?
I have been in a bad way for the last few days.
I can't even pinpoint what it is. Kevin and I discussed the subject of
depression while we were driving around Seattle. Sometimes I wonder if
maybe I suffer from that problem, too. Steph called it "being in a funk,"
as we all know by now. All I know is that I want to be left alone. I really
don't want to have any discussions. I don't want to think. All I want to
do is download useless files. Sheesh!
Saturday October 26
We went to the gym last night but that did little
to alleviate anything. I had another crazy dream. This time, the cast from
Convalescent City was in it. We were all cavorting around in a limo. I
don't understand the significance of these dreams. At least it wasn't a
Wolfenstein Nightmare.
We made it for Fodgers and doughnuts this morning.
Then, I was back on the computer. I finally solved the last of the JavaScript
bugs, thank goodness, but I was still "in a funk" (as Steph would say).
I'm not exactly sure what is the cause of all of this. Maybe it is burnout.
I long for the simple life. I am kidding myself because there ain't no
such animal! I oftentimes wonder if I should just move up into the Santa
Cruz mountains and become a hermit. Don't worry, I'm not planning on sending
packages of C-4 in the mail to alleged technocrats. What I really need
is to seek counsel from The Master. The Master is able to maintain the
hermitage no matter where he is. That's why he's The Master!
Sunday October 27
I was left to my own devices last night as baby
went out visit one of her friends. I went down to the clubhouse and did
a wimpy workout to kill time. I also received my payment coupons for my
loan yesterday. Apparently, my deferment has not gone through due to the
sinister force. I am to begin making monthly payments of $533 in two weeks.
I will be doing this for the next ten years. That made my day! Speaking
of debt, it surprises me to see how many people are up in arms over the
so-called deficit. These are usually the same people who cannot curb their
credit card usage. Surprisingly, the deficit is not the villain. Actually,
it can spur growth, much like credit allows people to live beyond their
means, or how speculation can generate wealth in the stock market. Perception
is what makes it good or bad. Of course, only the peons like the ol' lavahead
will end up chained to his debt forever.
Fodgers and doughnuts! That's the highlight of
my day. Baby went to help her friend at her new store. I stayed in with my beloved
computer. I am trying to wrap things up with the JavaScript Institute.
Right now, I am not even sure if I will make it back down to Convalescent
City. I was supposed to be there this week. Oh well. Anyway, I forgot to
thank Baird_Anne_J.PRILVMS3@msmail.bms.com, jedaley@zd.com, pagomez@infosel.net.mx
and my old friend John in Modesto (jdangelis@gnn.com) for writing
in!
Monday October 28
We made it to the gym last night for a short workout.
Baby spent some time on-line answering e-mail. She averages about 60 pieces
of e-mail daily. I, on the other hand, have received a grand total of seven
... yes, count them ... seven pieces of e-mail in over 10 weeks. Three
of them were junk mail. Sheesh! I have experienced greater apprehension
about moving in the last few days. Perhaps I should move somewhere else
instead of Honolulu, say, like Denton (Texas). Really? No, not really.
By the way, does Chris Elliot still do those Tostitos ads?
I called
around to check on my deferment this morning. The news was not good. Even
if my deferment goes through in time, my payments start in December. If
it doesn't go through ... well, you know the drill. I felt very sick. In
desperation, I quickly pulled out all the paperwork on the various repayment
options. What a joke! After a few more costly phone calls, I discovered
that I need to obtain a form from one office, fill it out, and walk it
not more than 20 feet to submit it to some other duffer (a Paul Hogan term)
in another office. What is even more dumb is that I may have to fly to
Cali in the next day or so to do this. Sheesh! As usual, the sinister
force has dealt me a bad hand. I don't even have the luxury of looking
for a job. Burger King, here I come! The sinister force has also been toying
with baby. Because of an oversight by some duffer, she has lost quite a
bit of dough. What a life we're living!
Baby and her daughter went to a roller skating
party. I stayed in and played with my beloved computer. I also made a few
phone calls to see what can be done about the situation. The whole situation
has become a living nightmare. I am surprised that I am not in worse way.
All I know is that I will be wringing my hands until this is resolved.
Tuesday October 29
Fortunately, Big John did some footwork for me
in Convalescent City. He called to let me know who I should contact, and
so I did. I sent off some paperwork as per the instructions I was given.
Hopefully, my deferment will be reactivated. I had an appointment at 11am
at the Auto Club (AAA). I managed to obtain some useful airline information.
All I have left is to decide upon my final departure date. Baby and I ran
some other errands together, and we had lunch at Burger King (yep, Whoppers,
our way!). We also picked up a shipping box for my six-five. I spent the
rest of the afternoon and evening trying to stuff my six-five in the box.
Baby's daughter assisted me and kept me company. I had to run out and buy
some tools to take my six-five apart. I ended up returning one because
it wasn't the right tool. Why does that always happen? Several hours later,
I was still fooling around with the box and my six-five. I was about ready
to throw everything in the dumpster. Finally, I gave up. The bottom line
is that the box was too small. Like a true engineer, that only served as
a challenge. I took up that challenge and suffered defeat.
I was thinking about how my life seems like a laborious
version of Quantum Leap. Each setting is entirely different from
the other. Each requires a different persona. What will be my new persona
in Hawai'i? I should call my version Quantum Loser. After all, I
feel as though I am leaping from one loser's body to the next. And, I have
duffers just like Al to help screw things up for me. All I need is a computer
like Ziggy. Sheesh!
Wednesday October 30
After admitting defeat by a lowly cardboard box,
I was extremely demoralized. The empty box sat here overnight as testimony
to my ineptness. Baby and I went out and got a larger box from a different
bike shop. After a couple of hours, I was able to pack my six-five in it
almost perfectly. Later, I changed the oil in baby's car and my six-four,
such that I could finally pack my tool box for shipping. I joined baby
and her daughter when they went to Barnes & Noble. I perused the computer
books, as to be expected. Well, hey! I'm a computer nerd! The rest of the
evening was spent playing Solitaire (no, not Windows Solitaire). We used
a regular deck of cards. Sheesh!
All the packing has made me realize that I have
been a little tense lately. Well, that's an understatement! I've been hella
tense! I think the façade of distractions is wearing off. I know
that my time here is limited. I'm not exactly sure how I am going to handle
this once it finally hits home. Time has gone by quickly. Do you remember
when I made the drive up here in June? I remember it well. By the way,
the informal reader poll was unanimous. Everyone voted that I should stay
in Oregon. I have never been one to make correct decisions. My move to
Hawai'i may serve as an extreme case in point.
Thursday October 31
The weather has been extremely nice for the last
three days. Baby washed her car, and I washed my beloved six-four. I made
a call to Convalescent City about a project I am working on. I wanted to
find out whether a trip down there would be necessary. The individual (who
shall remain nameless) apparently is clueless that I am a thousand miles
away. He still wants me to sashay in for tea time, although the trip would
cost me about $200 or more. To say that I was chagrined would be an understatement.
Later, baby and her daughter went out trick-or-treating. Baby dressed up
as one of the character from the X-Men. Her daughter dressed up
as Hobbes from the Calvin and Hobbes comics. I stayed in with my
beloved computer. When baby and her daughter returned, they brought back
a big bag full of candy. Baby's daughter shared a couple of Snickers bars
with the oversized lavahead. I was overjoyed. Well, simple pleasures for
simple minds, eh?
More To Come!
Continue the adventure now ... move on to November!
The Keeper of Lost Lives: Absolute Value Equals Zero
Starring:
42-Year-Old Virgin ... Tralfaz
Baby ... Herself
And a cast of thousands!
© Copyright 1996 by the 42-Year-Old Virgin
LoserNettm Love It, or Lose It.