Innocence Lost

…That first feeling of violence and injustice has remained so deeply graven on my soul, that all the ideas connected with it bring back to me my first emotion; and this feeling, which, in its origin, had reference only to myself, has become so strong in itself and so completely detached from all personal interest, that, when I see or hear of any act of injustice-whoever is the victim of it, wherever it is committed- my heart kindles with rage, as if the effect of it recoiled upon myself. When I read of the cruelties of a ferocious tyrant, the crafty atrocities of a rascally priest, I would gladly set out to plunge a dagger into the heart of such wretches, although I had to die a hundred times for it. I have often put myself in a perspiration, pursuing or stoning a cock, a cow, a dog, or any animal I saw tormenting another merely because it felt itself the stronger. This impulse may be natural to me, and I believe that it is; but the profound impression left upon me by the first injustice I suffered was too long and too strongly connected with it not to have greatly strengthened it.
…the tranquility of my childish life was over. From that moment I ceased to enjoy pure happiness, and even at the present day I feel that the recollection of the charms of my childhood ceases there. We remained a few months longer at Bossey. We were there, as the first man is represented to us-still in the earthly paradise, but we no longer enjoyed it; in appearance our condition was the same, in reality it was quite a different manner of existence. Attachment, respect, intimacy, and confidence no longer united pupils and guides: we no longer regarded them as gods, who were able to read in our hearts; we became less ashamed of doing wrong and more afraid of being accused; we began to dissemble, to be insubordinate, to lie. All the vices of our age corrupted our innocence and threw a veil of ugliness over our amusements. Even the country lost in our eyes that charm of gentleness and simplicity which goes to the heart. It appeared to us lonely and somber: it seemed as it were covered with a veil which concealed its beauties from our eyes. We ceased to cultivate our little gardens, our plants, our flowers. We no longer scratched up the ground gently, or cried with joy when we saw the seed which we had sown beginning to sprout. We were disgusted with life, and others were disgusted with us; my uncle took us away, and we separated from M. and Mademoiselle Lambercier, having had enough of each other, and feeling but little regret at the separation. (92-93)

This passage comes from Jean-Jacques Rousseau’s Confessions. This particular passage describes Rousseau’s life as a child growing up in Bossey with his cousin and being raised by the Lamberciers. In the passage preceding this, Rousseau gives a rather length description of how he was wrongly accused of breaking a comb and then punished both for that offense and for not confessing to the crime. The above passage describes the effects that this injustice has had on him. According to Rousseau, this is the first time in his life that he had experienced any sort of injustice of evil associated with this world. Therefore, this experience has caused Rousseau to fall from his state of innocence and ignorance, into a more realistic state of being, filled with evil and injustice. This fall demonstrates an important theme of the work: the loss of innocence and its effects on the soul.

The garden imagery used in this passage, both literal and metaphorical, gives the greatest strength to the idea of Rousseau losing his innocence. As a child, Rousseau did indeed have a garden that he enjoyed very much. But Rousseau also uses the image of the garden as a metaphor. When Rousseau says that he was “there, as the first man is represented to us-still in the earthly paradise…” (93), one is to immediately think of the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve, and their lost innocence in parallel with Rousseau’s. The broken comb is to Rousseau as the eaten apple is to Adam and Eve. In his prelapsidarian state, Rousseau was quite content. He says that

[t]he life [he] led at Bossey suited [him]
so well that, had it only lasted longer, it would
have completely decided [his] character.  Tender,
affectionate and gentle feelings formed its foundation….
During two whole years [he] was neither the witness nor 
the victim of any violent feeling (89).

However, after the false accusation by the Lamberciers, life was much different for Rousseau. Because of it, Rousseau “ceased to cultivate [his] little gardens, [his] plants, [his] flowers” (93). Rousseau had ceased to find joy in new life, in any life at all. He says that “from [the moment of the false accusation he] ceased to enjoy a pure happiness” (93). Just as Adam and Eve after eating the apple, Rousseau has fallen, lost his innocence, and has become impure.

After the fall, Rousseau

became less ashamed of doing wrong and more afraid
of being accused; [he] began to dissemble, to be 
insubordinate, to lie.  All the vices of [his] age 
corrupted [his] innocence and threw a veil of ugliness over
[his] amusements. (93)

Because of this experience of injustice, Rousseau has become more knowledgeable in the ways of the world and because of this knowledge, he cannot return to his innocent, ignorant childhood. He cannot even enjoy the things he used to because of this knowledge. He was “disgusted with life” (93). Having no previous knowledge of the evil and injustice of the world, the sudden appearance of it has traumatized and upset Rousseau’s world. All of this is quite evident in the very first phrase of the previously quoted passage. “That first feeling of injustice has remained so deeply grave on my soul” (92) lets the reader know that this was an extremely important and life-altering event for Rousseau. One can also see this through the language Rousseau uses. Repetition of words like injustice, suffered, ceased, no longer, vices, corrupted, ugliness, lonely, sombre, and disgusted leave the reader with an intense sense of Rousseau’s outrage, anger, and disillusionment.

The veil is another repeated image in this passage for an important reason. First, Rousseau says that “[a]ll the vices of [his] age corrupted [his] innocence and threw a veil of ugliness over [his] amusements” (93). Then he says that “it seemed as [the country] was covered with a veil which concealed its beauties from our eyes” (93). A veil is a usually made of a translucent material that covers the object but that also allows light to shine through. If Rousseau’s past amusements and the country are both covered in veils, they are blurred enough that Rousseau cannot clearly perceive them, but he can still see them enough to remember what joy they brought him. It is rather cruel that these past amusements are covered in a veil then. Rousseau remembers what used to bring him joy but can no longer receive joy from them because of his knowledge of the world and the way it works. He is constantly being reminded of the joy he once knew and how his fall has left him incapable of ever obtaining that joy again.

The manifestations of this incident and the knowledge that come with it in Rousseau’s later life are somewhat surprising. Rousseau says that

When [he sees] or hear[s] of any act of injustice-
whoever is the victim of it, and wherever it is committed-
[his] heart kindles with rage,….When [he] read[s] of the
cruelties of a ferocious tyranny, the crafty atrocities of
a rascally priest, [he] would gladly set out to plunge a
dagger into the heart of such wretches, although [he] had
to die a hundred times for it.  [He has] often put [himself]
in a perspiration, pursuing or stoning…any animal which [he]
saw tormenting another merely because it felt itself the stronger. (92-93)

Rousseau has become a defender of injustice everywhere because of the first incident of injustice that he encountered as a boy. He does say, however, that “[t]his impulse may be natural…but the profound impression left upon [him] by the first injustice…was too strongly connected with [the impulse], not to have greatly strengthened it” (93). Therefore Rousseau would have believed in defending the oppressed had the incident never occurred but he may not have acted upon it as fervently as he says he would like to. Murdering tyrants and rascally priests, and chasing after animals is quite an extreme reaction. One may think that Rousseau is exaggerating his reactions but if he is, it is only to make a point that any injustice is intolerable.

In conclusion, the passage quoted above explicitly shows Rousseau’s loss of innocence and the effect that the loss has had on his life. Immediately following the loss, Rousseau become quite disillusioned. Years later Rousseau uses his loss of innocence that occurred through injustice to defend injustices everywhere. This loss and description of it is important to Rousseau’s Confessions as a whole. It supports Rousseau’s idea of natural laws and living in a natural state. Childlike innocence is a very natural state to live in. Society and civilization bring the corruption that leads to a loss of innocence. Therefore, one of Rousseau’s philosophical goals is to keep people in a state of innocence. Humanity would then be living in a natural and, according to Rousseau, happier state of being. One could almost say that Rousseau wants to keep innocence in the world the same way as Holden Caulfield in J.D. Salinger’s twentieth century novel The Catcher in the Rye. Some ideas never change.

© March 21, 2001

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