Sally Seals: A thirty year old Avon lady from Chicago. Quite possibly the most annoying woman on the face of the planet.

The Old Man: What is his name? I sure don't know. This hundred year old british invalid spends his life in a rocking chair, petting a stuffed cat sitting next to him, calling out for his grandson, William. William does not exist.

Pilly: A two year old baby and the smartest person in the world. This bratty baby has severe issues with authority.

Coming soon...

Mucus Fungus: He's just misunderstood, due to a problem with hyperactive glands that causes him to drool constantly.

Mukie Fungie: His dog. Also afflicted with the problem.

Jackie Napier: A twenty-two year old psycho killer from England.

Johann Schvinkel: A jew from Austria with a lisp. Very little personality.