Have you done the quick quiz yet? If not then go away and do it now, and then come back later. Thanks.
Right, now that there's only those of us who know exactly how unpleasant we are, time to get down to business. This page contains the Unpleasantness Quotients of all of the people that have completed the quiz (or at least it should do if it works properly). If you've finished the quiz then your UQ will have (or at least should have) been sent to me automatically after you finished answering the questions, and in a few days will be placed on this page for all (or at least some of) the world to see.
You could also use this page as a kind of meeting ground for unpleasant sparring. Need a flaming partner? Why not choose one of the peeps below? Want someone to throw insults at who can barely fight back? Poor old Nathan Stewart seems to be the girl to mail. Want to try and shoot down an insult-meister? Why not give David Rokosz a mail. You get the idea.
Incidentally, I just thought that I'd mention that the names placed here may not be entirely correct, since I usually have to piece them together from what people put in the "Name" box, and e-mail addresses. If I've gotten your name wrong (and it's usually just surnames) then send me a mail pointing out my mistake, and I'll change it. Cheers.
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(Lowest UQ to highest)
The following people are Annoyingly Pleasant (1-8):
The following people are Quite Nice Actually (9-16):
The following people are Occasionaly Unpleasant (17-24):
The following people are Rather Nasty (25-32):
The following people are Lords Of The Unpleasant (33-40):
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It seems that some people are not happy with the UQ that the quiz hands them, despite it clearly being objective, and based entirely upon their own answers. Never the less, I'm a fair man, and am willing to hear any pleas from people that think that their UQ should be higher. Such pleas will appear here.
Name:David Smith Cochrane
UQ:14
Plea:"Pah...a miserable 14. I suspect that your UQ takes little account, however, of a person's readiness to refer to their friend's father as a "lebanese pimp", that their mother "bangs like a shithouse door", etc. I find it quite effective, when clearly losing an argument with someone, to suddenly and without real provocation reveal to bystanders the most personal and embarassing fact about that person to which I am privy. I
am not above the humiliation of elderly relatives by ahtever means necessary, nor am I unable to comprehend the gratutitous spray painting of any available livestock with phrases like "jam stuff up my twat". Please recalculate my score. And by the way, I have seen better pages with more engaging repartee in the phone book."
Reply:Well, it was all going well for David, and reading through his heartfelt pourings it seemed like he was a truely unpleasant individual. An increase in UQ seemed almost certain. Then, suddenly, he placed an insult to my page at the bottom of his mail in direct contradiction of what is written in the FAQ about that not being funny. So, sadly, David has to keep his poxy score.
New UQ:14. Still.
Name:Lesley Houston
UQ:16
Plea:"I know my score was only 16 but I'm really not all that nice. When I was about 11 my hamster bit me and from that moment I truly hated it. When it hibernated I was advised to warm it up in my hands to revive it which I very reluctantly did. But after the third time I had had enough so I carefully wrapped it up in cotton wool, stuck it in a margarine tub and buried it under a hedge in the front garden. See, even as a child I was unpleasant. I don't often tell people that story because for some reason it doesn't go down too well. I've stopped killing innocent animals now. Well to be honest I actually only murdered one. Betty the hamster was truly unpleasant and she would most likely have done a lot better than me in this quiz."
Reply:It's such a shame that it was a hamster that you killed. One of those stupid little yappy Jack Russel dogs perhaps, a mouthy budgie, a horse for the sake of scaring someone by putting its head in their bed, but not a hamster. You see, I used to own a hamster, and as such are rather partial to them. However, I can see that you're clearly an evil child, so I'll up your UQ to 30 merely for the fact that you're prepared to brutally slaughter an innocent, and undoubtedly cute, creature. But then I'm donating five of your points to Betty's memory.
New UQ:25
Name:Ryan Rudder
UQ:10
Plea:"Do you know what it feels like to have a flaming hot, unraveled paper clip shoved up your penis hole? My bassett hound found out about 8 years ago. You might ask why I would do such a thing...well, the dog just wouldn't "woof" loud enough to sufficiently piss off the neighbors, so I made it howl. Any extra points? -disclaimer- (none of this actually happened but I should some extra points for unpleasant creativity)."
Reply:Oooookay. I'm just going to slowly reach over here and pick up this phone, then ring ring the police. No sudden movements or anything. In fact, I'm going to give you extra points just because you sound unhinged, and you'll probably hurt me if I don't.
New UQ:15
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Maintained by Tony Gowland
Last updated: 16/7/00 |
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