OCTOBER 29, 1998 - THURSDAY -

Nail Color - Show Biz Plum by Orly

Wow...it has been a week since my last update.....bad bad Myeah....hehe...Today is my mom's birthday....'HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!'

It was trick or treat night here in town...so we went to my sister-in-law's to pass out candy and eat some yummy potato soup made by my mother-in-law. Brad got the duties of actually passing out the candy....I think he enjoyed himself....he was cute enough anyways.

One of best friend's two daughters were teletubbies..and they were sooo cute....also saw a cute Captian Hook...that was another friends son...;) Oh the joy of being a parent.....hehe..just still not sure if I need that joy...;)

Babies...Kids...Children....mmmm.....not sure if its for me. It was kind of strange....when Brad and I decided to get married we had to do our classes for church...and it was weird to find out how much neither of us really talked about if we had kids...how would we raise them...punish them....what we would expect from them....so at that time...we touched on it....but long before that point...I had stated pretty clearly that I didn't think I ever wanted any children.

Nearly three years later...and my 26th (whoa!) birthday on its way I am no more sure about being a mother then I was before. At least I know it wouldn't be the end of the world to be pregnant....as I once thought....but to take part...in knowingly to make that choice. I'm not ready. There are days and times when Brad thinks he wants children and I can sympathize for him...but I've never made him that promise or assurance. I have told him...if there comes a time when he is sure he wants children..and I still don't...that I would want him to find a woman to become his wife...and to give him that joy of life. There are so many issues at large...before I could ever see myself taking that step...and even if those issues are settled and recovered.....I still can't say...that being a mommy is something I want.

How's that for a deep thought? *soft smile*

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