What I'm talking about here is generally known as BDSM, an acronym for Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, and Masochism. Not everybody practices all four of these "predilections", but for whatever reason, they've come to be grouped together. I myself am interested in three of the four... Bondage, Discipline, and (I guess) Sadism, though I dispute the application of the dictionary definition of the word sadism to these types of consensual games. I am a relatively mild sexual dominant, in the cyber world. It's not an all-consuming passion for me, but it is one of my favorite forms of cybersexual "spice".
I suppose I need to define some terms a little more fully here, especially since so many people have preconceived notions of what this form of sexual expression is all about. From my point of view, what this is all about is where one partner voluntarily surrenders to the other the responsibility for both partners' pleasure. That's right. I said both partners' pleasure. The dominant ("dom") takes responsibility for making the "scene" pleasurable for both parties. The submissive ("sub") agrees to follow the dom's instructions explicitly, and gains enjoyment in the process. It's not about real pain; it's not about real cruelty; it's not about misogyny or hatred or anything like that. It's about a particular sexual style in which there is a mutual, voluntary agreement that one partner will be responsible for making it good, and the other will "let" him/her do it.
Now, it may look like it's focussed on pain, or humiliation... but in the real world of consensual power exchange, and that's what I'm talking about here... nothing else... it is one of the most intense and exciting forms of sexual expression people are capable of. No fooling. And real pain or real humiliation are simply not a part of it. If one is into that, then one needs to see a competent mental health professional at the earliest possible opportunity! "Play" pain, though, can actually be extremely sexually stimulating... I know it's counterintuitive, but trust me, some of these "toys" can bring amazing sexual tension and pleasure while appearing to be painful.
You would probably be amazed at who enjoys this form of sexual expression. It's far more common than you might think. Hell, you might even enjoy it yourself if you just let go and give it a try! *L* Many of your "straightest" friends are busily engaged in various mild forms of this sort of sexual expression "behind closed doors". It's my experience that most men just love it; a few (proportionately) love being submissive; most prefer the dom role, while others of a more egalitarian bent seem to like to switch roles, either with the same partner or with different ones. Strong willed, but sexually open, women frequently find that assuming the role of submissive to a well-prepared and skillful male dom provides the most intense sexual experience they could ever have. Strong willed, but closed women gravitate to being doms themselves.
The links I've provided give you a very thorough explanation of what consensual submission is really all about. I strongly encourage you to examine them, as I'm not going to try to repeat their excellent contents here. All I can tell you is that you ought to think about it if the concept appeals to you... and don't shy away at first blush just because of your preconceived notions. It may well not be for you, or not fit well into your current partner's menu (that's one reason why I love cyber alternatives so much...) but you, and he or she may well find that it makes a tremendously fun "spice" addition to your sexual cookbook. It probably isn't something that should be the main course at every meal, unless you both agree that's what you want, but it can be a tremendous, mind-blowing addition to your sexual lifestyle mix. Any of my female readers who want to give this field of activity a try, with a very experienced and caring dom, in a safe, cyber environment, can just let me know. *smile*
Why not give it a try? *wink*
Links to other sites on the Web
A San Francisco BDSM community resource
A BDSM Site that explains the concept well...
The results of a Yahoo search on the topic
Told you some of these topics were "hot to handle." But this is cyberspace, and I'm a libertarian, remember?
The background music you're hearing is Sweet Dreams Are Made of These, by the rock group The Eurythmics. The lyrics and the "background" sound effects, which some liken to the sound of whips striking, make this an appropriate choice for this page. *L*
© 1998 daswunderkind@hotmail.com
Get your own Free Home Page