Fortunately, thanks to extensive cut-backs, the Mountie who was in charge of keeping me locked up was laid off as was the Paperwork Mountie, so after a few hours of filing the bars, I managed to free myself and nobody cares since there is no paperwork. Boy, that was a close one though. Yesterday, a strange man came to our village with wild tales of places where there are phones in each dwelling and where the dwellings are not made of snow. We felt so sorry for him. Our chief medicine man (or medicine person as we call them these days) tried to cure him of the demon, but unfortunately, it was all to no avail. We are allowing the man to stay here as the village idiot, since no one wants to loan him a sled team to get out of here. That's pretty much understandable. People have all been quite careful about lending sled teams since the Incident.
The Incident (in case I forgot to mention it) was when three years ago, a young Mountie was just getting ready for his first mission (to find and catch a bad guy) when he realized that he had a big problem: no transportation. How was he to catch bad guys without any transportation? He was a determined fellow, so he decided that he would be fine on foot even though it is well known to us that most bad guys ride upon the fabled horses of steel and chrome which eat only a strange, foul smelling liquid called "gas". He trained every day running in circles around his igloo. He became very fast.
One day, a bad guy came to our village. The Mountie sprang into action and started to chase him immediately. The bad guy got into his steel horse and rode off. The Mountie ran after him, but it was to no avail. We all felt very sorry for the Mountie (who was running around his igloo to conceal his disappointment). That is when the village wise man (now referred to as the village wise PERSON) offered the Mountie the loan of his sled team. I can't tell you the rest of the story I am afraid because we were all sworn to secrecy. All I can tell you is that chasing bad guys is stressful work and eating a dog does not constitute cannibalism in my book; it is more of a cry for help.
Anyhow, our new village idiot has brought much happiness to our little village. His wild tales are a neverending source of mirth to us all. Sometimes though, I wonder if it is wrong to laugh at someone's insanity. It is sad really.
Send me back to where it all began!