No matter how old you are...

TOYS ARE ALWAYS FUN !!!

Just because you aren't a kid any more doesn't mean you have to stop playing with your toys. (that's why the box they come in says ages 3 and up) Sure, there's more practical things to spend your hard earned dollars on, but they aren't nearly as spiffy. Some people think it's silly for an adult to be playing with toys. They just don't know how damn fun it is. Here's a few pictures of some of my toys.

Toys pictured above:

inflatable alien
I won him at the state fair.(actually I just paid off the game operator to give him to me)

my big silly chimp doll
I found this guy in the supermarket, and it was too funny looking to leave there... so here he is with me : P

my 3 stooges dolls - Moe, Larry, & Curly
I've had these forever. I got them for Christmas when I was just a lad. (anyone have a Shemp doll they wouldn't mind parting with? I'd be happy to buy it)

talking Beetlejuice doll
This was an awsome find at a flea market. Pull the string on his back and he says random quotes from the movie, and above the string is a button. When you push it, his head spins around at an amazing speed.

walking talking grim reaper
I got him at another flea market (flea markets are a great place to find cool toys cheap) He takes a few steps then spins from the waist up while playing creepy music, laughing, and saying, "I'm going to get you !" Also he has little red lights in his eyes, and a light in the skull he carries that flash on and off during all this.

doll from the first ALIEN movie
This is the oldest toy in my collection. A good friend of mine gave it to me. (thanks John) It stands about a foot tall, has moving arms and legs, and a trigger on the back of it's head that makes the mouth open and the second set of teeth come out. (I once used it for a PEZ dispencer)

storm trooper motion detector
This spiffy little toy starts yelling and shooting at anyone that walks past it. It came with a big red gun that you can shoot back at it with.

10 inch Mr. T action figure.
Yet another flea market score. It's Mr. T, need I say more?

10 inch Silver Surfer action figure
Again... the flea market find of the day. From out of the comic books and cartoons, and into the local flea market came this chrome colored treasure of a hero who surfed his way on to my toy shelf. (poetic eh?)

10 inch Captain America action figure
I found this defender of American freedom in a nifty little store on South st. in Philadelphia. Captain America isn't as popular as Superman and Batman, so it was a real treat when I found this.

10 inch Spider-Man action figure
I picked this up in the same store as Captain America. Sure, Spidey is among the heros you see every where, but he's REAL cool !!!

Bob's Big Boy bank (wow say that 10 times fast)
For those of you who don't know what Bob's Big Boy is, it's a restaurant chain that always has a huge statue of this little guy in checkered pants standing out front. Once every couple of years I hear about some one stealing the statue from the front of the establishment, and I must admit... I laugh every time. This miniature replica of the victem is a piggy bank, but he sits on my toy shelf with no money in him... just in case he's the next one to disapear. (that and I don't have any money to put in it)

Pee Wee Herman and Chairy
Can you guess where I got it?... At the flea market of coarse. Pee Wee and chairy together again. His TV show was taken off the air when got caught in a porno theater enjoying his own company. (so to speak) If you look close you can see a slutty little half naked woman on his lap in the picture above. Her name is Sodie Pop. I put her there with him so he would have NO reason to go back to a sleazy joint like that and get into trouble again. (it's worked so far)

man 2 lamb
This little wind up toy is a bit disturbing, but damn funny none the less. Wind it up and watch a naked man mount his lamb from behind.

Star Wars PEZ dispencers
Yoda, C3PO, Chewbacca, Darth Vadar, and Storm Troopers have joined the ever growing number of America's favorite toy that delivers candy from the neck of your favorite hero.

Anamaniacs plush doll - Wacko
Warner Brothers (and Warner sister) Yacko, Wacko, and Dot spread choas every day on their own cartoon show. This plush doll is my favorite of the trio... Wacko. Every episode he does something stranger than the last. Also, for some strange reason, he is always talking about Don Knotts (AKA-Mr. Firley AKA-Barney Fiphe)

Chucky doll from the CHILDS PLAY movie
A silly horror movie about a killer trapped in the body of a childs doll. This little guy is a favorite in my collection with his long flowing hair, cute little stripped shirt & over alls, and EVIL screaming face.(told you it was a silly movie)

head of SATAN
A styrofoam head that is the size of a human's head, but this is no human being... IT'S SATAN !!! The Devil himself. This is so silly that I had to have it. c'mon, can ya blame me? ... It's the head of Satan.

the bones brothers
Another gift from a dear friend of mine, who happens to be the twin brother (although they look nothing alike) of the guy who gave me the ALIEN doll. (thanks Bob) These wild n' crazy brothers hail from Ghostown, U.S.A. Just like real teenagers they wear cool shades and high top sneakers. (well, that's what the tag on them says anyway)

the Fighting Nun
I found this little gem on the boardwalk in Atlantic City, and she is, by far, the coolest toy I have. I've had this about a year now, and I still laugh every time I look at it. It's a hand puppet of a Nun wearing boxing gloves. When you put your hand inside it there is 2 levers. push them with your fingers, and she starts swinging like a champ. (doesn't bite ears though)

tombstone bubble gum
Ok, so it's not exactly a toy. It's big, gray, thin pieces of bubble gum with silly ryhmes about how the person that the tombstone is for died. Kinda morbid huh? Also, I was too scared to eat GRAY bubble gum. Something about it just didn't seem very tasty.

dashboard hulah dancer
You've seen it in movies a billion times I'm sure. A little hulah girl on the dash of a car and her hips sway side to side when you drive along. I saw it and HAD to have it.

PEZ line
A row of some of my PEZ collection. pictured here from left to right are the pumpkin, skull, snowman, Santa Clause, panda bear, angry Leonardo (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle with blue mask), happy Michaelangelo (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle with orange mask), happy Raphael (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle with red mask), Micky Mouse, Goofey, Donald Duck, Fred Flintstone, Garfield, red & white whistle, Lucy, Snoopy, and Kermit. I have several others that aren't in the picture.

Gooey Louie game
This is a digusting "childrens" game where you pick boogers out of Louie's nose. There is one booger that is rigged to make his brain fly out of his head. The person who picks this booger loses. (charming huh?)

Earth Worm Jim and vehicle
There's a great comic book/cartoon/video game called Earth Worm Jim. It's too strange to describe, but I promise... if you every see it, you will die laughing. This toy is an action figure of Jim and his bike. Jim has a button on his back, and if you push it his little wormy head flies out of his muscular human body.

Burger King toy - bat from Anastasia movie
A talking version of the cute little bat from the animated movie Anastasia. Poke his little belly, and he says random quotes from the movie.

Matchbox Rino-rod
Exactly what it sounds like... a matchbox car shaped like a rino. There's a coffee bar on South st in Philadelphia called RINO CAFE. One of the employees was kind enough to donate it to my collection.

black rubber spider
Sitting on the rino-rod is a black rubber spider. It doesn't do anything special, it just sits there and looks like a spider. Not very neat is it?

plush octopus
This was a souvanier from the New Jersey state aquarium. It's a little on the silly side, but I find "octopi" to be rather amusing, so I got it.

Goody Vault
Under the octopus is my GOODY VAULT. It's a little plastic safe that comes with EXTREAMLY cheap toys inside. (that's where the black rubber spider came from) It has a real combination, and can be used as a bank. I wouldn't put anything too valuable in it, because (A) you can see right through it and (B) because it's plastic for God's sake !!! Doesn't take a criminal master mind to crack a plastic safe.

GOOEY LOUIE squirt gun
Looks just like the game, and is about as offensive too. Fill it with liquid, (preferably BOOGER GREEN colored liquid) and push on his brain to make the liquid shoot out of his nose. (again... charming huh?)

Beanie Baby candy - Fletcher the penguin
This little guy may seem cute, but if it was just cute I wouldn't have it. Rip his little back open to find his tasty candy guts inside. (not so cute now is it?) After eating all the candy I was left with a limp unstuffed penguin, so I stole the little talking box out of my friend's dog's toy that when pushed says, "I looooove chocolate." Now my little penguin talks, and it drives the dog crazy too. I would feel bad, but I'm a cat lover. This dog has had more than his fair share of cats for dinner, so he must pay !!!

another Burger King toy - same bat differnt toy
This is the same bat from the Anastasia anamated movie, but this one is different. It is much smaller and holding an eye ball. When you pull the eye ball it slowly rolls back to him, as he wiggles around. Pretty spiffy huh?

nifty eye balls
These neat little eye balls always look up. They are floating in liquid, so the color of the eye is always at the top no matter which way you turn it. It's pretty cool, and my cats love smacking them around the house.

NUNZILLA !!!
A wind up toy that looks like a Nun. When you wind her up she walks and shoots sparks out of her mouth like the giant fire breathing lizard... Godzilla. This toy is sure to piss off any die hard catholic.

eye ball head action figure
I have no idea who this guy is or what he's from. I saw it at (all together now) the FLEA MARKET, and I just had to have it because it was so weird. It has a normal body, but it's head is just an eye ball. How does he eat, smell, hear and breathe ??? I guess since I have no clue who it is I'll never know. There's a little dial on his back that makes his head or eye, what ever you want to call it, move from side to side.

Crypt Keeper action figure
From the hit HBO show, Tales from the crypt, comes this decayed story teller in his tux. He has a little lever on his back to make his head turn and arms go up & down

another Earth Worm Jim action figure
Pretty much the same as the other, but this one is BATTLE DAMAGE JIM. In other words, this one had his @ss kicked. He also has a button on his back, but instead of his head shooting out his chest does. I've never hear of some one's chest falling off from being beat too much, but then again I never heard of a worm with a chest either.

choo choo train whistle
It's kind of silly. I'm not even sure where I got it from. If you blow in the back, it makes a very loud anoying train whistle sound. (loud and anoying is fun)

Earth Worm Jim's trusty side kick
There are two in the picture. One for each Jim action figure I have. They are called snots, but don't look like boogers. (these have faces)

plastic dice
Big, blue, plastic dice. Another cheap toy from the GOODY VAULT. They don't even roll well.

glow in the dark kangaroo
You can barely see it because it's so small. It's standing on the stupid blue dice. Everything about this toy is weird. (A) why is it so small? (B) why does a kangaroo glow in the dark? (C) I found it on the counter in a bar. why would something like that be in a bar? (D) why was I even in the bar... I don't drink. There's no reason for me to be sitting at a bar if I don't drink. It was fate... me and this little kangaroo were meant to be together.

green rubber octopus
One more doozy of a toy from the GOODY VAULT. Much like the balck rubber spider, it just sits there looking like a green rubber octopus.

squish face
It's just a yucky toy... I love it. It's a monsterous face covered by a thin rubber film. When you squish it, blood squirts out of it's mouth and is caught by the thin rubber film around it. I guess its kinda like a condom. (told you it was yucky)

McDonald's toy - Baloo from the Jungle Book
Pop the top of his head open, and he makes a neat hiding place for anything small enough to fit in there.

wind up lizard
This might be a McDonald's toy also, but I'm not sure. It was given to me by another friend (thanks Mark) Wind it up and it does back flips.

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Do you have any toys laying around you'd like to unload? I promise to give them a good home if you send them to me. I'd even be willing to buy them. If you have toys to give or sell, send an e-mail by clicking the Jack-in-the-box below.

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