Sully's Adventures
Last Updated November 25th, 1996
This is a Journal of sorts, based (loosely) upon my life. Most facts are true,
and are only exaggerated to make me look better. I must warn you, this is by
no means the story of my whole life. If I had decided to write the whole story,
I would've had to have this page rated NC-17...
Well, I'll start with a little info about myself. I was born under a full moon
in a cave near Nome, Alaska. Life was harsh in the tundra, but I managed to
get by on my amazing strength and willpower. Now, at the tender age of 20, I
stand 5'1", and weigh in at a slender 302 lbs. I am a part-time professional
wrestler and spend most of my time sitting at the docks, seeing how many times
I can get the paramedics to come and help me after sticking my tongue to frozen
scraps of metal. Okay, so that's not all true. But if I told you everything
about myself, you'd probably hunt me down and try and kill me like those KGB
agents did last year...
Me.
My name is Sully. That's about all anyone has to know about me. If you know
me, you already know too much. If you don't know me, you're one of the lucky
ones. If you're one of my ex-girlfriends, call off the police and we'll
negotiate a truce.
People always come up to me and ask me: "Sully, you look like a great athlete.
Do you play chess?" I always tell them: "Why no officer I swear she said she
was 18..." Wait a sec. That's not right. I say: "Why no, I don't play
chess. It's too rough for me. I'm more interested in
and 
In my Globe-Trotting, I happened upon a quaint little town in New Brunswick
called Moncton. I spent a total of 5 years there, gathering information for
my study on primitive life-forms. A few of my case-subjects became quite close
to me. Other than their extremely odd sexual behaviour (which I mimmicked
only for scientific purposes, of course) they seemed quite normal. Below is a
photograph of myself and my subjects:
Myself, Prince Igor, Cak, Polo, and
Dew-Dew. Scary looking bunch, aren't they?
I must warn you of an impending danger. Slowly but surely, there is an evil
that is penetrating the minds of unsuspecting Internet users and turning them
into mindless zombies. It has taken a form pleasing to the eye and stimulating
to the mind, but is very addictive and can cause major loss in brain cell
production. I am, of course, referring to the IRC. This has been known to
cause marriages to self-destruct, and university careers to plummet into
oblivion (mine not excluded). This phenomenon draws out strange and
obscure people who never had a social life before into a whole new world
where they can pretned to be anyone they want (I'm usually a bisexual trapeze
artist named Sven). People congregate in "channels" and talk about many
subjects (mostly sex!). My favorite
channels are #atlantic.canada and
#halifax.
Watch out for the following freaks: cak, prncechrm, and MrBurns. They are
considered perverted and desperate. Only talk to them if you're really
desperate for cybersex (gender doesn't matter).
Along the way, I have come across many different types of people. Some
were very nice, and some were complete asses. Okay, MOST of them
were complete asses (especially that Cak person...)! There were a few nice
ones, but they were rare. I found that you can't really trust people that
claim to be so innocent and pure. They need a little edge to make them
trustworthy. So, now I ask you... How
Pure Are You?
On my journeys, I have sampled many types of food along the way. Being on a
tight budget as I was, I was forced to survive mainly on what the locals call
"Fast-Food". There were many different establishments to eat at, including my
favorites McDonald's and
Burger King (stay away from
Subway -- I have never figured out what
exactly is in the "Cold Cut Combo"). For beverages I comsumed
Coca-Cola,
7up, even
Russian Pepsi. However I strongly
preferred the alcoholic beverages like
Budweiser, and
Moosehead. They proved
to be the most enjoyable foods I have ever come across.
Through my lifetime, I noticed a trend among young people. They seem to all go
through a strange period in their lives called "school" where they
attempt to learn skills that (according to adults) they are going to need
later on in life. Considering my superior intellect, I figured
that it would be a breeze to join them in a little academic competition. This
proved to be a rather simple task until I completed the "Public School" phase.
Upon completion, I was confronted with the unenviable task of deciding where to
continue my "education". I decided to enroll in a local school,
Dalhousie University. There I was to study
a miriad of subjects, but lost interest in the classes and began to study the
students themselves, discovering many astounding facts. For example, students
seem to have a fascination in scientific study on the effects of alcohol on
human physiology. This proves to be a lengthy and expensive experiment because
many students cannot remember what happened while under the influence of the
alcohol. To fit in, I took part in many field studies and enjoyed
participation immensely.
One individual I befriended along the way was a chap that went by the name
MrBurns (as mentioned above). He was a very compelling person, with some very
bizzarre habits (you'd never guess what he can do with a cucumber).
Nonetheless I decided to take him under my wing and teach him the ways of The
Sully. He has learned well. He now attends
Mount Allison University and is in the process
of becoming a great Brew Master. A man after my own heart as you can see.
Here is a photo of him in his natural environment:
MrBurns
Well, I have had my bouts with boredom along my travels. To get through
it all, I relied on reading comics to keep me sane and happy
(although many would have to argue the 'sane" part). On of my
favorites was Garfield. That
cat just cuts me up.
VS. 
I have come to a bit of a personal conflict at this time. I enjoy listening to
whatever music the locals call "popular" wherever I am. Presently, I have
before me a choice of two seperate radio stations. Q104 plays "Classic Rock"
while C100 plays "Light Rock". I cannot decide which type of music I like
more (Or tell the difference between the two). Which do you prefer?
Well, my life is very interesting indeed. Don't worry, I will continue to
update you all on my progress in the world and will love to hear from you all.
If you have any comments, insults, dirty limericks, or cheap 900 numbers, drop
me a line at one of these addresses:
sullyman@oocities.com
den97007@it.nscc.ns.ca
Copyright 1996 Nova Scotia Rehab Center
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Entry -- March 7, 1997