'Alongside me is Keggy Keegle - sorry, Kevin Keegle...' - Brian Moore

Right. I'm getting angry now. If one more person steals this collection without due credit for a magazine feature or spam email, the authorities will be informed. If I can find any, that is.

'It's like a toaster, the ref's shirt pocket. Every time there's a tackle, up pops a yellow card.'

'The ref was vertically 15 yards away.'

'There are two schools of thought on the way the rest of this half is going to develop; everybody's got their own opinion...'

'Goalkeepers aren't born today until they're in their late twenties or thirties.'

'This could be a repeat of the final.'

'The game has gone rather scrappy as both sides realise they could win this match or lose it.'

'I don't think there's anyone bigger or smaller than Maradona.'

'England can end the millenium as it started - as the greatest football nation in the world.'

'They compare Steve McManaman to Steve Heighway and he's nothing like him, but I can see why - it's because he's a bit different'

'Despite his white boots, he has real pace...'

'You can't do better than go away from home and get a draw...'

'He can't speak Turkey, but you can tell he's delighted.'

'There'll be no siestas in Madrid tonight.'

'...using his strength. And that is his strength, his strength.'

'One of his strengths is not heading' (of course, one of Keggy's strengths is not talking)

'Gary always weighed up his options, especially when he had no choice.'

'I'm not disappointed - just disappointed.'

'The tide is very much in our court now.'

'Chile have three options - they could win or they could lose.'

'That would have been a goal if it wasn't saved.'

'I came to Nantes two years ago and it's much the same today, except that it's totally different.'

'A tremendous strike which hit the defender full on the arm - and it nearly came off.'

'The good news for Nigeria is that they're two-nil down very early in the game'

'The substitute is about to come on - he's a player who was left out of the starting line-up today.'

'That decision, for me, was almost certainly definitely wrong.'

'I know what is around the corner - I just don't know where the corner is. But the onus is on us to perform and we must control the bandwagon.'

'Hungary is very similar to Bulgaria. I know they're different countries...'

'In some ways, cramp is worse than having a broken leg.'

'The 33 or 34-year-olds will be 36 or 37 by the time the next World Cup comes around, if they're not careful.'

'England have the best fans in the world and Scotland's fans are second-to-none'

'It's understandable that people are keeping one eye on the pot and another up the chimney.'

'I'd love to be a mole on the wall in the Liverpool dressing room at half-time.'

'It could be far worse for me if it was easy for me.'

'Discipline is not only very important, it's crucial.'

'Young Gareth Barry - he's young'

'Argentina won't be at Euro 2000 because they're from South America.'

'They're the second best team in the world, and there's no higher praise than that.'

'You don't get two chances at this level, or at any other level for that matter.'

'You're not just getting international football, you're getting world football'

'Kanu, a guy with a heart as big as he is'

'Luis Figo is totally different to David Beckham, and vice versa'

'Football's always easier when you've got the ball'

'They don't come every three days, like they come after this one'

'I want more from David Beckham. I want him to improve on perfection.'

'The tide is very much in our court now.'

'There's a slight doubt about only one player, and that's Tony Adams, who definitely won't be playing tomorrow.'

'We have spent three matches chasing a football.'

'It’s no longer an 11 man game.'

'The Germans only have one player under 22, and he's 23'

'For some it's the ultimate job, for the others it's the last job.'

'I've had an interest in racing all my life, or longer really.'

'We managed to wrong a few rights.'

'We are three games without defeat is another way of looking at it. But if we are honest we have taken two points from nine'

'He'll also be very dangerous from set-pieces. That means he'll be a threat from free-kicks and corners in the final third of the field.'

'Danny Tiatto is not going to make a mistake on purpose'

'I'll never play at Wembley again, unless I play at Wembley again'

'You need 88 points for the title and we’ve got 61 at present with 16 games to go, but if you set targets you limit yourself'

'We deserved to win this game after hammering them 0-0 in the first half'

'He’s got a heart as big as his size, which isn’t big, but his heart’s bigger than that'

'Well, if that's true then it would be a big suprise, but then nothing surprises me in football these days.'

'You get bunches of players like you do bananas, though that is a bad comparison.'

'Not many teams will come to Arsenal and get anything, home or away'

'Shaun Wright-Phillips has got a big heart. It's as big as him, which isn't very big, but it's bigger'

'Nicolas Anelka left Arsenal for £23million and they built a training ground on him'

'As far as I'm concerned, Danny Tiatto doesn't exist'

'One team with destiny already decided...'

'Maine Road was a great football stadium but as time moved on it stayed where it is...'

All sound files in downloadable RealAudio. Unless it's broken again.

IMPORTANT : These files do not stream. To listen to them, you will have to save them to hard drive or disk by right-clicking on the link and selecting 'Save Target As' or 'Save Link As'.

Of course, Keggy's finest moment as Newcastle manager happened live on Sky after his team had beaten Notts Forest in April 1996 during the Premiership championship run-in. And you can hear it here.

"I could have been more eloquent but it was just after a game and the adrenaline was pumping. The problem in this country is that if you show passion, people think there's something wrong with you." (KK on the above clip, February 2000)

However, Fulham's one-time Chief Operations Officer (pardon?) saved his best/worst moments for England's World Cup 1998 campaign. For example, this moment against Romania...

...and this moment against Argentina, partnered by the ever-reliable Brian Moore.

One of his most memorable co-commentating moments came in the previous Coupe de Monde, USA 1994, when Brazil's Leonardo got sent off for elbowing 'home' player Tab Ramos. After stating that the incident wasn't bad enough to warrant a red card, Keggy actually saw the replay, and produced the obvious conclusion : Ramos had been holding Leonardo's shirt, and therefore any following actions should have been nullified because of that foul. If you listen carefully, that sound you hear is David Beckham murmuring to himself about if only refereeing guidelines were that easy.