THE FOOTBALL QUOTES PAGE


"Destined to amuse...full of the kinds of gems and clichés that make football all the more enjoyable" Yahoo UK & Ireland Picks Of The Week, September 1999 (also picked amongst year's best sites)
"A huge collection of absurd utterings...entertaining" Daily Telegraph, 19/12/98
"Humourous" FourFourTwo, January 1999
Featured on Meridian TV's Cybercafe, 1999; Independent, 15/11/99; Back Of The Net, Daily Telegraph, 16/10/00; Said And Done, Guardian, 29/5/01

(What you you mean the flashy title graphic hasn't turned up yet?) Ah, there you are. Welcome to THE FOOTBALL QUOTES PAGE, no longer world un-famous, as our briefly amusing name used to put it, but still the Internet's original and biggest (known) compendium of comedy football (soccer) related quotes.

There are 1487 quotes here, all genuine as far as we're aware, but in case you find some glaring omissions, contact me at s_tyers@yahoo.com. Plenty of thanks to everyone who's contributed quotes. JUST STOP SPAMMING THEM ACROSS THE E-MAIL NETWORK, OK? Oh, and I'm Simon. Hello.

The quotes in BOLD at the end of each section are the newest quotes.

LATEST UPDATE : (3/12/03) 126 new quotes, as Ron pulls further away from Kevin and John leaves Brian in the dust. There's other sections with new quotes too, you understand. Again, thanks to everyone who's helped us add to this mighty selection, and indeed thanks... to you. For visiting. Give us a write-up, someone in the press. It's been some time, as you can tell from the above self-aggrandising list. Admittedly updating occasionally might help us towards those aims, but never mind.

In this place you will find the following sections of quotes:-

Pundits

  • Well, all that sitting on the fence can corrode your thought processes

    Commentators

  • Some men who really should know what they're talking about. And Clive Tyldesley.

    Mooro vs Motty

  • The now-retired ITV legend takes on the BBC's stats man

    Managers

  • Or a quick lesson in deflation of highfalutin ideas

    The Kevin Keegan Collection

  • 'Well, Brian, I've done triffically well, but I'd say I've never made a cock-up in my entire career. What? Well, at least they haven't got any sound clips to prove it...'

    The Ron Atkinson Compendium

  • Little eyebrows, early doors and loose tongues

    Players

  • 'Well, the question has come over to me, and I've just opened me mouth and these words have come out.'

    Reporters

  • Funny things, deadlines.

    Who Asked You?

  • Members of the public and celebrity nouveau fan types

    Others

  • Presenters, chairmen and the like have their say

    Top 20 Most Quoted

  • Who are the most regular offenders?

    Sign the guestbook

  • Come on, I'm being kind...

    View the guestbook

  • ...unless you request more gridiron quotes.

    • And while you're about it, why not join our sister publication, Armchair Football - the British TV guide to all things with the requisite ball spheroidity.

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    Mining Co. world soccer site : this did win their Best of the Net Award (Football Humour section)

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    Created and maintained by Simon Tyers