'I was in Moldova airport and I went into the duty-free shop - and there wasn't a duty-free shop.' - ANDY GRAY

'I've got a gut feeling in my stomach...' - ALAN SUGAR

'Football today, it's like a game of chess. It's all about money' - NEWCASTLE UNITED FAN

'Tomorrow, the whole of Newcastle vs Manchester United.' - IAN PAYNE

'He has now got a scapegoat to hang his hat on.' - FRANCIS LEE

'Many clubs have a question mark in the shape of an axe-head hanging over them' - MALCOLM MacDONALD

'Obviously on paper, it's a very good game. Do you think, in theory, it'll be one?' - ANDREW GIDDLEY

'And now for international soccer special : Manchester United versus Southampton.' - DAVID COLEMAN

'More football later,but first let's see the goals from the Scottish Cup final.' - DES LYNAM

'Poborsky's had one or two moments - two,actually.' - DES LYNAM

'England were beaten in the sense that they lost.' - DICKIE DAVIS

'The immortal Jackie Milburn died today.' - CLIFF MORGAN

'And now the goals from Carrow Road, where the game finished 0-0.' - ELTON WELSBY

'This would cut hooliganism in half by seventy-five percent.' - TOMMY DOCHERTY

'When you're down, you Palace fans, the fickle finger of fate rarely smiles on you.' - JONATHAN PEARCE

'If you were in the Brondby dressing room right now, which of the Liverpool players would you be looking at?' - RAY STUBBS

'He [Stan Mortensen] had a cup final named after him : the Matthews Final.' - LAWRIE McMENEMY

'Some of the fans come onto the pitch and shake the players on the back of the chest.' - MIKE MORRIS

'It's a Dutch invention, but we started it in Scotland.' - ANDY ROXBURGH

'What the difference is between three minutes to three and five o'clock,I'm not sure.' - JOHN REAMES (Lincoln chairman)

'I'm dumbfounded, but nothing surprises me in this game.' - FRANCIS LEE

'We have made an undertaking to Arsene Wenger and his family not to name our new coach.' - PETER HILL-WOOD

'Were you watching Ian Wright's performance? Did you see what he said?' - IAN PAYNE

'You'd have put your house on Ian Wright scoring that one.' - RICHARD KEYS to Paul Merson

'The Laudrup brothers can turn on a herring' - IAN PAYNE

'The match will be shown on Match of the Day this evening. If you don't want to know the result, look away now as we show you Tony Adams lifting the trophy for Arsenal.' - STEVE RIDER

'We have more non-English players in our league than any other country in the world.' - GORDON TAYLOR

'Lombardo speaks much better English than what people realise.' - MARK GOLDBERG

'There may be no mechanism for United to launch an appeal against Irwin's dismissal. But the Reds should appeal anyway.' - PAUL HINCE

'And in the day's other football match, Manchester City and Norwich drew love-all.' - Radio Manchester announcer

'You can't do more than score three goals away from home.' - RAY STUBBS

'It was the reserves' fourth game in the league and the record stands at one win, two draws and two defeats' - OFFICIAL MANCHESTER CITY WEBSITE

'Me and Joe are so close, we will continue living in the same underpants.' - SAM HAMMAM

'Football today would certainly not be the same if it had not existed.' - ELTON WELSBY

'Was the World Club Championship a success for United? The fact United will technically lose their world champions crown on Friday night obviously means the answer is no.' - STUART MATHIESON

'The Cottagers' promotion hopes were dented after a 0-0 win with QPR' - GLR newsreader

'How will Sir Stanley Matthews be remembered? As a living legend.' - England supporter

'Coventry goalkeeper Magnus Hedman has admitted that he is ashamed by the Sky Blues' recent run of four consecutive wins without scoring a goal.' - FootballNews site

'People will look at Bowyer and Woodgate and say 'Well, there's no mud without flames'.' - GORDON TAYLOR

'Aberdeen have claimed that they have been placed at an unfair advantage by the SFA because Rangers have been allocated 7000 more tickets for the Scottish Cup Final.' - DAILY MAIL

'Rune Bratseth and myself have agreed that we are not in agreement' - GUNNAR WILHELMSSON

'There's one that hasn't been cancelled because of the Arctic conditions - it's been cancelled because of a frozen pitch' - BOB WILSON

'It's end to end stuff, all at one end' - JEFF STELLING

'So the United States are through to the next qualifying round of this World Cup and will play the winner of Trinidad against Tobago.' - GERMAN PRESENTER

'Darryl Powell had a groin operation at the end of last season, recovering quickly enough to play five times for Jamaica. He injured his other groin in a pre-season game against St Truidense in Belgium' - DERBY OFFICIAL WEBSITE

'Abel Xavier's international ban has been reduced from six to nine months' - TEAMTALK

'The unthinkable is not something we are thinking about at the moment.' - PETER KENYON (Manchester United chief executive)

'In the bottom nine positions of the league there are nine teams' - RAY STUBBS

'And Scott Gemill has put Everton ahead in the big match between the bottom five' - STEVE RYDER

'Andy Cole has at last broken his goal glut with his first goal for England.' - Channel 5 newsreader

'To be honest, I can't remember him scoring a goal that wasn't memorable.' - JEROME ANDERSON (agent)

'That's Steve Howey's third-ever league goal, and he's never scored more than two in a season before' - JEFF STELLING

'Phil Thompson is Liverpool through and through. He's got red blood running through his veins.' - Radio 5 Live caller

'I’m not going to drag it out or make a point, because points are pointless.' - SIMON JORDAN

'Arsenal could have got away with a nil-nil if it wasn’t for the two goals' - DES LYNAM

'He was unlucky, or was it just bad luck?' - DES LYNAM Terry Venables : 'It's either a penalty or it's not a penalty.'
Des Lynam : 'Sometimes it can be neither.'

'The umpire had no hesitation in pointing directly to the spot' - GIGI SALMON

'Cometh the hour, cometh the moment' - RAY STUBBS

'Plenty of goals in Divisions 3 and 4 today. Darlington nil, Hereford nil.' - Sport On 2 presenter

'Despite the rain, it's still raining here at Old Trafford.' - JIMMY HILL

'There were two second division matches last night, both in the second division.' - DOMINIC ALLEN

'In the Scottish Cup you only get one crack at the cherry against Rangers or Celtic' - TOM FERRIE

'Newport 0, Wrexham 1. Well done the Welsh there' - Sport on 2 presenter

'Peter Shilton conceded five, and you don't get many of those to the dozen' - DES LYNAM

'Chesterfield 1 Chester 1 - another score draw in the local derby' - DES LYNAM

'It's a renaissance, or put more simply, some you win, some you lose' - DES LYNAM

'Meade had a hat-trick. He scored two goals.' - RICHARD WHITMORE

'Manchester United are looking to Frank Stapleton to pull some magic out of the fire' - JIMMY HILL

'Spurs, one of the in-form teams of the moment with successive wins, are almost as impressive as Queens Park Rangers with five.' - BOB WILSON

'In Scotland football hooliganism has been met by banning alcohol from grounds but in England this solution has been circumnavigated' - WALLACE MERCER

'There is no change in the top six of division 2, except that Leeds have moved into the top six' - FRED DINENAGE

'Kicked wide of the goal with such precision' - DES LYNAM

'This is a tremendous asset for the club, a tremendous headache lifted from our shoulders, really.' - ELTON JOHN

'On this 101st FA Cup Final day, there are just two teams left' - DAVID COLEMAN

'Most of the people who can remember when we were a great club are dead' - Notts County chairman

'Celtic have extended their lead at the top to a remarkable 15 points. Now to soccer...' - TREVOR WELCH

'(Manchester) City have fined Nicky Weaver, Richard Dunne and Jeff Whitley a maximum two weeks' wages for a breach of club discipline. The trio are reported to have been involved outside a Liverpool night club next week.' - CEEFAX

'Liverpool have now really got to win two away - one in Barcelona, the other at home to Roma' - BOB WILSON

'Beckham, Keane and Ronny Johnsen are all missing through fatel (sic) injuries.' - RTE TELETEXT

'(Jamie Redknapp is) not eligible for games infecting Premiership issues' - RTE TELETEXT

'Newcastle kept their hopes of qualifying for the Champions League alive on Saturday as they came from 2-0 down to draw 3-2 with Derby' - dailysoccer.com

'Two questions - why were England so poor, and if they were poor, why?' - IAN PAYNE

'The overwhelming view of the listeners is that they are split down the middle' - EAMONN DUNPHY

'The Premiership season is drawing to a conclusion on its first day' - RAY STUBBS

'They don’t know the meaning of the word dead and buried' - MARCUS BUCKLAND

'We want a draw or as close as we can get to one.' - Berwick Rangers fan

'Aston Villa are seventh in the League - that’s almost as high as you can get without being one of the top six.' - IAN PAYNE

'When I’m out on the pitch it's the closest thing to being back in a dressing room.' - STEVE BAINES

'Feyenoord came storming back after coach Bert Van Marwijk...switched from 4-4-2 to 4-4-2’ - YAHOO SPORTS

'After Niall Quinn announced his retirement from playing during the break the second half became a pleasure to watch.' - SOCCERNET

'Alan Smith's four goal haul sees Leeds to a comfortable 3-1 win" - BBCi

'Come on, Bury fans - you’ve got your night in the sun.' - ADRIAN CHILES

'Champions League takes over centre stage from football tonight' - GARRY RICHARDSON

'Someone has to save the club from existance' - GARY LINEKER

'Our talking point this morning is George Best, his liver transplant and the booze culture in football. Don’t forget, the best caller wins a crate of John Smith’s.' - ALAN BRAZIL

'The match is evenly balanced but AC Milan have the upper hand' - UEFA official site

'I never make forecasts, but whoever wins that game will win the final' - KEN BATES

'They've finished with 80 points with one game to go' - IAN PAYNE

'One moment I'm playing football and the next - whack - I wake up in hospital unconscious.' - ALAN BRAZIL

'You’ve taken the wind right out of my mouth' - RAY STUBBS

'He’s one of the greatest players in the world, if not one of the greatest anywhere' - SKY ANDREW

'The World Cup is believed to favour a move to Spain' - Soccernet

'He is the man who you can pin your hopes on and he never fails to let you down.' - liverpoolfc.tv

'The question marks had been asked about United's defence' - RAY STUBBS

'Chris Porter scored his first league goal last week, and he’s done the same this week.' - JEFF STELLING

'Our man Charlie there with his ear to the grindstone' - TALKSPORT

'There's a problem with so few black players becoming black managers' - JERRY O'SULLIVAN