Cathy Freeman Wins Gold In 400 Metres Final
White And Black Australia Closer Than Ever, Calls Made For A Formal Government Apology
Prime Minister John Howard Says 'Sorry'...For Missing The Race To Be At A Basketball Game
SYDNEY, MONDAY SEPT. 25TH-- On a historic night in front of a packed house of 112,000 at Stadium Australia, Freeman pulled away from the field with 50 metres to go and won the 400 metres for Women. In winning the gold medal which just eluded her in Atlanta, she has inadvertantly helped to further bridge the divide between White and Indigenous Australia, bringing further calls from the entire population for a formal Government apology. Unfortunately, Prime Minister John Howard could not be reached for comment, as he was at a basketball game.As Freeman etched her name into history and brought the nation to a standstill, John Howard watched the Australian Boomers take on the might of Spain at 'The Dome' in the Showground complex, just a short two-minute walk from Stadium Australia. Even though the events did not clash - the basketball starting around an hour after Freeman had crossed the finishing line to a mighty parochial roar - Howard instead chose to make sure he got to his seats early and had some 'pre-game snacks' - an assortment of candies and other munchies which included popcorn and licorice all-sorts, said to be Howard's favourite.
Upon learning of Freeman's victory, one which captivated an entire nation, Howard was extremely apologetic.
"On behalf of myself and the Federal Government of Australia, I wholeheartedly and unconditionally extend my deepest apologies to Cathy and the nation for my non-attendance," said a sincere Howard. "I just plain forgot that was on tonight - don't ask me how I did, when everyone else in the country knew it was on, but I just did. It somehow - Phhffoop! - slipped my mind. It's just one of those things."
"Let no-one say I am not a man to apologise or admit when I'm wrong" the Prime Minister added.
Experts and Political Commentators are unsure whether Howard's absence means anything, but are satisfied Howard was telling the truth. Aborigines and anyone that has a brain aren't buying it.