Mule HQ Webmaster Gets Special 'Olympic' Haircut
Left: A photo of the Webmaster taken in 1998, just two years after his failed Atlanta Olympic Haircut
SYDNEY, THURSDAY SEPT. 7TH-- Nick Marland, the webmaster of the widely-scorned website Mule HQ has entered his final series of preparations for the Sydney Olympics - beginning in just over a week - by getting a sleek new 'Olympic Edition' Haircut.
The haircut - a standard male cut of short top and back, slightly longer fringe, in an unsuccessful attempt to be a pretty boy - has astute judges buzzing about Nick's Olympic Campaign. But Marland remains coy.
"Oh yeah, people have been talking," says the soon-to-be 19 year old internet pin-up, "but I just take it all in my stride. I mean, shit, it's only a haircut."
Commentators wonder if Marland's shorter hair will give him an aerodynamic advantage when he sleeps at night.
"It's sure to have some kind of effect," says brother Patrick. "We're all so proud of him - and all of this for a salon-price of $17.60, GST inclusive."
Leading sports professor G. Matthew Eisenstat agrees.
"Nick's new haircut is sure to have less friction against the pillow at night, leading to a slightly more comfortable nap, plus record times for rolling over in his sleep and styling before leaving the house. And at the bargain price, the young man is a winner all-round."
Nick himself is adamant the new 'do' will not change him.
"No, no way...I've learned by now how to handle the media glare. I just felt like I needed a little trim before engaging in two intense weeks of sleep and sitting in front of the TV. Thankfully Raelene of Cutting Away Salon and Boutique was in-form on the day. Now it's up to me to put in the hard yards and continue to produce results."
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