Australian Equestrian Team Wins Historic Gold Medal

Kibah Sandstone
Glue
Above: One of the winning horses, Kibah Sandstone
Below: An artist's rendition of the horse's new home
Horses To Be Rewarded By Being Made Into Special 'Olympic Edition' Glue
SYDNEY, TUESDAY SEPT. 19TH-- The Australian Equestrian team today clinched the gold medal in the three-day teams event, the first team to win the event at three successive games. As the victorious riders were lauded and praised by a rapturous crowd of 25,000 at the Horsley Park venue, plans were already being made to honour this momentous achievement - culminating in the Australian Olympic Committee announcing the production of an extremely limited edition Olympic glue, manufactured from the winning horses.

The Australian riders - Andrew Hoy, Stuart Tinney, Matt Ryan and Phillip Dutton - had suggested the idea to officials last night, as the team was placed with a commanding lead and only had to ride moderately well to secure the historic medal. Team officials were said to be ecstatic with the idea, and have already secured a tender from Australian company Clag to make the limited-edition paste.

The idea is a fitting tribute to the horses - Darien Powers, Jeepster, House Doctor and Kiban Sandstone - and stands to be snapped up by eager souvenir hunters, glue sniffers and sick perverts. Hoy explains that the idea was conceived to give much-deserved recognition to champion horses which is usually only bestowed upon their riders.

"I can't remember exactly how we all thought it up, but it was definitely popular with everyone in the camp. The riders always get all the praise, when really the horse is doing just as much - if not more - work to bring home the spoils. Hopefully this new release will bring the emphasis back onto the animals, and prove a fitting tribute to their exploits here in Sydney."

The glues are slated for release by next Monday at Olympic Store outlets across the city, and will come with a choice of three types: paper-bonding, craft and industrial-strength.

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